Most Commented Self-Improvement Blogs (526)

Good day CS. I haven't wriiten in a while. but now, i have something I want to talk about, so here I am..

All my life, I've always been so careful and really cautious about my steps. Making sure that i don't make any wrong major decision. People around admired how my life is in the right direction. Giving praises to my parents on how they raised me well and and how lucky they are to have a chilf like me..

The thing is, I had people's admiration, but I was living under too much pressure. I thought I was happy with it, but it didn't feel like living my life the way that I can achieve the kind of happiness that goes through your soul. The kind of happiness that inspires you to be bolder and take risks.

I thought it was because of lack of a certain person in my life. A love interest to be exact. So I entered a relationship thinking that it would give me the push I needed. But instead of being pushed, I became more comfortable. Instead of bettering myself, I focused on bettering the other person that I put myself less in priority. After a long while, I realized the relationship is getting nowhere, and some triggering situations, I ended the relationship.

Then I opened myself up to dating again. I dated a few guys of different background, races, and personalities. Until I found one guy who suited all the criteria. He was one of the triggers of big changes in me. He is a great guy. Values, personality, availability. However, he made it clear that he cannot commit, so I stopped seeing him. It was difficult, but I cannot continue with something without guarantee..

I guess what I'm trying to say is, even when Ive tried to change my outlook and the way i see things, some values and beliefs never change. Ive changed so much, but I'm still the little miss cautious me..

Years ago, I had a talk with myself regarding my troubles about love and relationship. My inner self told me: "I think your problem is that you are very serious about getting into and being in a relationship that you are missing out on opportunities that are yet to present themselves. When you meet a guy, you already categorize him to MIGHT or MIGHT NOT have a future with. You have judged them as to what they have initially shown you. When you yourself are holding back in the beginning. At the start, both people are expected to hold back a little, so by putting a tag on a person early on, when he hasn't shown himself fully on all his potential is what's making you sad. What if he was actually good, but you didn't give him a chance to begin with?"
With that, I gave one guy a chance. The problem is, when I start to have a bond with someone, I trully give them all the chances and accept everything and overlook everything, even all the red flags. That it took me 4 years to realize that the relationship I was in was not the right one for me.

Was I right with the way I dealt with my issue before that landed me the 4 years relationship? It was. Because even when it was not the right relationship, I learned so much from it. So now, Im thinking of another change inside me. But I guess this time, I will focus on something else.

I've learned a lot from my horse over the years. He taught me to be patient and to learn 'his' language in communicating with him. And he's taught me how to take responsibility for my actions. That whatever reaction I get from him is a direct result and consequence of my actions.

I learned that in riding him, he was more than willing to accommodate what I wanted, as long as I was clear with it, patient and kind. When I first got him, I spent a lot of time with him on ground manners, teaching him to respect my space while we formed an unbreakable bond of trust.
After creating this bond of trust and I was riding him, I learned how to communicate with him with my body and hands. I learned that I could just think walk, trot, canter or halt, and he would do it. I learned he could feel whatever mood I was feeling.

One time, after learning a new training method, I tried it on him. He pinned his ears at me, indicating he was not happy. I was told to continue on with him, even though my gut instinct told me not to. He reared and struck out at me, striking a glancing blow on my thigh with his front hoof. I received just a slight bruise, but I learned that no one likes to be bullied, and he was no exception.

Another time, I was frustrated at something. I can't remember whether it was him or me, but I took the crop to him several times. He stood stock still for a moment, as if in shock. He then took off like a bat out of hell at a full tilt gallop, completely out of my control. I learned to control my temper and not to take my own issues and lack of communication out on him.

I used to ride him every day through the equestrian park, 8 miles around. I've fallen off of him numerous times in that park. Involuntary Dismounts. So many times that I thought that dirt was one of the four food groups. Sometimes it was from something that spooked him. Although chunky, he was quick. And you never had any warning of what he would do.

With the thoroughbreds, they always let us know when there was something that they were afraid of and what they were going to do. With Nick, not so much. You could be riding along without a care in the world, and he would all of a sudden drop his right shoulder, throwing you off balance, and then spin to the left. Hellooooo ground. Involuntary Dismount.

I never got mad at him for that, and he never ran away from me. He'd always stop and look at me as if to say, what are you doing down there? And I always realized that there had been something that had frightened him, that I hadn't noticed.

One time, out at a cross country field, my back was really tight, and I kept spurring him to move on. With my back tight, it tightened his back, and it was almost impossible for him to move. Finally he got pissed off and bucked. Hard. I was ten feet in the air before I landed on hardpan. Ouch. I looked like I'd been in a car accident I was so badly bruised. Involuntary Dismount.

But, I knew it wasn't his fault for my own lack of riding skills and fear. I learned to master the fear, and relax my body to go with his movement, so that he could move.

I learned how to stay centred on him by sitting up straight and using my seat to urge him forward, along with squeezing my legs instead of leaning forward and kicking my heels. I learned to tell myself that I was a good rider and that I was going to have a great ride and focus on how I wanted that ride to go. It's common knowledge in riding that wherever you put your focus, is wherever you'll land. If you're afraid, so will your horse be. Thus, I learned to overcome my fears by facing them.

Isn't that just like life?

It's nice to see people enjoying interactions with each other. I'm working on trying to be more tolerant of loudness, especially in cackling/chortling laughter. The hearing impaired do have a tendency to talk louder, and alcohol deadens the eighth cranial nerve, so we have loud chats in bars. But sober, normal hearing folks in otherwise quiet cafe venues provide their own special sort of distraction. Earbuds and music streaming help.

Following my footsteps in reverse I journey to search for the dreams in which will guide me forward, onward down the path which is mine in truth. As doubt fills my mind, laughter fills my heart, and so forth joy spills from my soul. I linger for safety, for comfort in the thorns, though they may be, filled with angry storms. As an old friend warns, not to seek that which the dreams, fail to speak. For the temptations draw in the weak, with short lived pleasures and negative after effects, simply to deceive & misguide from the honest vibration inside. As a saw guides itself deeper into its target goal, so must I, dive deeper into my soul. Answers clear of bias are found nowhere outside the questioning mind, the most complete perspective is within the inner multiverse, for it is comprised of all the facets of the self, simultaneously.

If at any time in 2017 I have annoyed you
Pissed you off
Or offended you...
I'm sorry...
Happy New Year!!!

by nature we are shy,mean,cold,warm,weird,crazy,tough,kind,confused,
greedy,aggressive,confident,pettiful,cowards,naive,nervous
intelligent,selfish,proud,carefree sometimes the situation
forces us to be who are acting.
of recent some character tried to chat me up but I had him
one disturbing question poor me I got blocked hahahaha I
didn't mind his actions because he is one of a character that
never want to communicate ...
think he is so hard on himself and life at large though he lives
under pretence but he is stressed if only he communicates things could look way different .

lo0+






















BECAUSE IN MY OPINION THEY DO SUFFER FROM LOW SELF ESTEEM!
THEY DO NOT LOVE THEMSELVES! THEREFORE THEY DO NOT LOVE OTHERS!
THEY CHOOSE TO SEE THE BAD IN EVERY ONE!
NEGATIVE PEOPLE NEVER GIVE TO ANYONE A COMPLIMENT!
THEY DO SPREAD HATE!
MY ADVICE IS TO SURRENDER YOUR SELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE!
PEOPLE WHO WILL LOVE YOU AND NEVER WILL BRING YOU DOWN!

By Balicia





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I work with a young lady-who's obsession is drinking, lifting weights and having sex in inappropriate places....and then coming to work and telling us all....I pity her lack of understanding....her lack of class and is she aware that I find this all sad and pathetic. That one life is only for these things.....She is a nice person most of the time....I am tired of her sex life!!!

Greatest tragedies in human relationships are the inability and unwillingness to tolerate and accommodate views that are different.

We find comfort in those who agree with us, but personal growth occurs in situations where there are differences in views.

It is best to express our views regarding any matter, without the usage of harsh words written in anger to hurt other people's feelings.


Sometimes opinions others have of our views and actions may not be what we would like to hear. But if we listen to them, we often find some truth in their opinions. If we are prepared to change our ways and approaches there is always a chance for self improvement.

No one can hope to change the world by preaching a message of love while criticizing, blaming and publicly humiliating fellow humans. On the other hand if we can not deliver a Godly message in a gentle manner with respect to every living being, then we may sound like we are preaching some failed religion with a false prophet.

And it is not fair to lose temper when our faults are pointed out. Though we might think we can intimidate others by using foul language, to overlook our shortcomings, it exposes our weakness of inability to handle criticism. Foul language and anger are weak man's imitation of strength.


Having said that, we cannot remove all the stones and thorns so that the pathway be smooth. To feel comfortable, it is better to wear a pair of shoes instead. likewise, we should learn to guard our senses to have our peace of mind since we cannot succeed in removing all the disturbing objects from the world.

The mark of great people lie in how they face daily irritations with equanimity.

Wish You a Blessed Weekend!!!