Most Commented Self-Improvement Blogs (526)

Lying in my bed (with Sweetie napping by my side, as usual) I caught a memory whilst reading online, of one of my childhood dreams. This dream, in particular, was as a result of a popular show from the 70's-80's called "BJ and the bear". I remember it being fun, action-backed, and age-appropriate (of course), and my inspiration (which was probably fuelled by the 'tomboy' in me) was to drive an 18-wheeler like the one driven by the star of the movie!

During different periods in my life, and usually whenever I see these trucks, I'm awed by their presence - powerful, majestic, over-shadowing, amazing pieces of engineering. Yes, I still want to drive one!

Now that I'm retired, with the time to do something like that, I'm going to investigate how I could make this childhood dream come true.

Day one - Enquire about driver-training and testing/licensing

Stay tuned for updates...

Usually when someone says my mate has a problem ...blah ..blah ..blah..can you help him ? there never was a mate or (pet) to begin with but after presenting oneself as a confident image they then deny themselves the right
to be honest therefore cannot speak about an insecurity they may well have as this isn't at all in fitting with their fake personality they've created for themselves otherwise known as "alter ego." It must be like splitting your personality and who you are in two. This site offers the perfect opportunity for that ,Ugly becomes hansome, too fat becomes Athletic a cripple can become a 100 metre sprinter, a poor man doesn't have to be poor anymore, a geeky little wimp can be the big man he never was and the man down on his luck with women becomes the womaniser who had more than his fair share I mean (a man changing into a woman as complicated as may be simply becomes the lady he never was.The list is endless and please don't let your imaginations run wild .This was just an awareness blog created from my own observations.

Do you have a cool head in a crisis or do you panic. Can you handle a crisis or do you stand around not knowing what to do? Or even worse, do you break down?

A crisis is like any other event in your life. The more you are exposed to it, the better you can cope with it. If the same crisis occurs regularly, it becomes routine. It is the same as an inexperienced soldier going to war. He will forget his training, fear for his life and panic. The duration and the degree of panic will depend on the person.

That is why new recruits are sent to war with old hands to stabilize them. After a while he gets used to the carnage and he copes better. It is then said that he has seen the elephant. He is still scared but he can handle it.

There is no disgrace in being scared. It is a primal instinct to secure self-preservation. Any fear can be overcome if you are exposed to it often enough. The secret is to control the fear so you can effectively counter the threat.

My father often exposed us to a crisis deliberately. One such an instance I will never forget. We were to go camping when my sister was still a baby. I was about ten at the time. My father, my brothers and I were to leave three days before my mother would follow with my grandfather and family. We never camped in a park; always in the wild.

When we arrived there, we discovered that our food and water supplies that I so carefully helped to pack, were no longer in the car; only empty water containers. I suggested that we go back to fetch it but my father said that there was not enough fuel in the car and he forgot his wallet at home.

After some deliberation, he suggested that fresh water was the primary need as we could feed us from the sea and we all set off on the 4 km journey along the beach to get fresh water. Funny enough. there was a water container for each to bring back some water; all according to our abilities. At the fishing village my father ‘discovered’ enough change in his pocket to buy two loaves of bread.

Arriving back, my father caught some fish and took out a few crayfish while I had to harvest some black mussels. Then I ‘discovered’ some ground coffee and sugar under the car seat when he sent me to look for his ‘mislaid’ car keys and he produced a tin can and two plastic cups from the boot of the car. We ate like kings until the rest of the family arrived. Bread without butter never tasted better.

My father had a knack to turn a dead normal situation into a crisis. Granted, he did put some stress on us but in the process, he taught us how to cope in an ‘emergency’ and that there is a solution to every problem, no matter how monstrous it appears.


And have a great day out there. Wednesday is small Saturday!

I became interested in philosophy a few years ago and made a casual acquaintance with some of the characters who have played a part in its progression since Socrates wandered about the market places of ancient Greece, annoying the locals. I can’t say I am any wiser because of it. I thought that learning about philosophy might help facilitate my getting to the truth of things. If it has taught me anything at all, it is that there isn’t a truth of things.

Perhaps a better way of putting that would be to say that the word “truth” stands for something different every time we use it, but it always seems to involve distilling or isolating something from something bigger. What we end up with is very often something that has to be separated from any wider context in order to satisfy our desire for a binary* outcome.

Philosophy isn’t really about getting to the truth, it’s more about getting to what isn’t the truth, and for that alone, it’s worth pursuing.



* I would have said “black and white” at one time.

Not too long ago, I hated myself, hated the situation I was caught in, hated my looks, hated everything about me.....

Miraculously, I snapped out from my depression and self-pitying. Best feeling ever!

I now see myself worthy of love and attention. Most of all, I love what I see in the mirror




"Try"

Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim
So they like you. Do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don't be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong
So they like you. Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Oh

Get your shopping on,
At the mall,
Max your credit cards
You don't have to choose,
Buy it all
So they like you. Do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why should you care, what they think of you
When you're all alone, by yourself
Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

No
Oh

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Take your make up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don't you like you?
Cause I like you

Yesterday I was attacked in my garden by a rabid butterfly, and at first I thought it was minor, but not long after the savage attack life seemed to change.

Now I want a baby and a cute matching woman, so if anyone is interested let me know, the ideal age is past the nappy stage, so perhaps 35 years and older.

I am somewhat house trained and although a messy person I’m willing to learn to put things in the right places, IE plates in the kitchen not in my desk drawers, I promise to stop mooning my fridge too.

I also want a clean cloth, eating at my desk I have bread crumbs and soggy tomato splashes, I cleaned it up with a lettuce leaf, surely that’s not the best thing to do.

So if you can either be a baby over 35 or tell me how to get a cleaning cloth I would be happy to hear from you.

As I stand here outside the prison gates, breathing in the air of freedom and feeling grateful for my early release, I am reflecting on my crime and the justness of my punishment. I have learned my lesson; from now on, whenever I am tempted to refer to another member, I will put far more effort into making their identity clear without actually mentioning their name.

And now, let the celebrations of my return commence.

"You logged into blogland like you were walking on to a yacht
Your words strategically placed along the lines
Your pic, it was fairly dark
You had one eye on the webcam, and watched yourself smirk
And all the men dreamed that they'd be your 'cammer,
They'd be your 'cammer, and....

You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you?"

With apologies to Carly Simon.

How many people, when they read that, thought "why is she writing about me?" Or, is that me, or is that so and so? How many people assumed that it was about them? Or someone here? Hmmm?

A major reason that we develop suits of armor, is because we assume that the other person knows what's in our heads. We assume their intentions, their motivations, and that their perceptions are the same as ours. We assume we know what's in their heads, and make up all kinds of stories in our heads to suit those assumptions. And sometimes, in a disagreement, we accuse them of those assumptions, without ever asking.

And how many of us have been dead wrong? And felt quite foolish afterwards for having assumed something that wasn't true at all? We assume that we're not only the centre of our own universe, but that we're the centre of others, as well. Ummm... no.

We all live in our own heads, with different perceptions based on our life experiences, and what we've been taught. So, when we're hurt or angry by something someone says, we assume they know what our experiences have been, and that they're attempting to upset us deliberately. But, how can a mere acquaintance know our experiences and what our buttons are?

Even in close relationships, we assume others intent and meaning. And then they assume ours. And before you know it, the fight is on, both assuming what the other one means. Neither one listening to each other. Sometimes, the intent is to hurt or retaliate for a perceived hurt on their end. And round and round it goes.

So how do we get off this carousel?

Learn to be impeccable with your word and to stop taking anything personally. Stop making assumptions. Instead of assuming other things are about us, start asking questions, in a calm and reasonable fashion. Start stating what we really want. Not words cloaked in manipulation, but clear concise statements about what we want and need.

The more we don't take anything personally, and don't make assumptions, the more we can communicate with others clearly to avoid misunderstandings.

How making assumptions works. Someone says something to us, and we start weaving a story in our heads - a negative story, about why they said what they did, and what they meant. So we write this huge mental story around them, assuming that it's true. Of course, if it is true, then we feel fairly self-righteous.

But many times, it isn't true. It's true for us, because that's our perception through our own eyes. Their perception may be entirely different, and unless we ask, we have no way of being able to clearly identify their intent or meaning.

So what if we didn't make any assumptions? What if we didn't assume we knew what was in other's heads, and stopped judging them negatively, because of what's in our own?

There'd be a lot less drama in our lives. We assume we know what others mean or think. We assume the worst, and judge others, based on the assumption that they have judged us. So if we stop assuming anything, we stop judging, we stop making up stories, and life becomes a lot less complicated. In fact, other people start to be a lot less threatening and a lot less frightening.

...cont in comments....

If you could change things in your life what would you wish for?

Imagine you paint your old boat and decide to take it out on the lake, even though it’s a foggy day. As you steer through the fog, another boat slams into your boat damaging the new paint job.

Most of us will be furious why didn’t the person in the other boat watch where he was going? Just when we try to react in anger we realize that the other boat is actually an empty boat that is drifting.

Soon our anger disappears.

(A Zen story)

In Life we often come across people and events like empty boats.

Even if there was a person steering the other boat and he deliberately rammed our boat, his behavior had nothing to do with us and we have no control over his actions. What others do or say is done for their own reasons, and most of the time they don’t even know the reasons. They may be driven by unconscious forces of their own wounds and pains.


One thing we must always remember is that we only have control over our own boat and must not lose it. If we find it difficult to respond from an aware and empathetic place, we must always steer clear.

Ramming back at an empty boat will only ruin the paint bit more.!!!



Wish you a blissful journey this day!!!!