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I first read this in 1966 and almost wet myself laughing. Now recently I stumbled across it again on the internet and thought I’d share it with you. Good old fashioned humour not riddled with F-words to gain effect.


Hans Gruber,
Wihelmstrasse,
Hamburg,
Germany.

Der last schipment uf rice ve got von you on der schip vas mixt mit der mice schit. Der rice vas gut enuff but der mice turds schpoils der trade. Ve did not see der mice schit in der samples you sent us.

It takes too much time to pick der mice turds from der rice. Ve order kleen rice, und you schip der schit mitt der rice. Ve like you to ship us der rice in vun sack, und der mice schit in anoder sack, und den ve vill mix it to soot der customer.

Please write if ve should schip back der schit und keep der rice, or keep der schidt und schip back der rice, or schip back der whole schitten verks.

Mitt much respects,

Hans Gruber.


Friendly Sunday greetings from an overcast Cape Town

Monkey Funny Faces

The first two batches of unsealed Jeffrey Epstein court documents reveal a number of high-profile individuals whose names appeared multiple times in various materials, including footnotes.
Among them are two former US presidents – Donald Trump and Bill Clinton – and Prince Andrew, all three of whom have been pictured with and known to associate with the disgraced financier in the past.
Other names include lawyer Alan Dershowitz and magician David Copperfield.
However, being identified through the court documents does not necessarily mean that the individual was involved in or aware of any wrongdoing by Epstein.
Unsurprisingly, Epstein’s partner in crime Ghislaine Maxwell is one of the names that appears the most - 208 times in the first tranche.
The British socialite’s name appears in full 20 times, due to the files being part of a 2015 US defamation case by Virginia Giuffre against her. The name “Maxwell” appears 849 times, though this is some times in reference to legal matters and footnotes.
References to Maxwell were made throughout the documents, with various other witnesses being asked about her involvement with Epstein in their separate testimonies.
The second tranche of documents contained the name Maxwell 352 times.
She is currently serving 20 years in prison, having been convicted sex-trafficking underage girls in June 2022.
Prince Andrew - 110
Prince Andrew has been named 110 times accross both sets of documents.
Bill Clinton - 83
Clinton’s name is mentioned 83 times in the documents so far. Both he and Andrew are known to have been associated with Epstein previously.
Part of the testimony from Ms Sjoberg alleges that Epstein once told her that Clinton “likes them young” – referring to girls.
Donald Trump - 4
Clinton is not the only former commander-in-chief to appear in the documents. Donald Trump was named in the first batch, though only four times.
In part of Ms Sjoberg’s testimony, she claimed Epstein once “called up” the former president and visited one of his casinos after his private plane was diverted to Atlantic City in New Jersey.
Elsewhere, Ms Sjoberg was asked if she ever gave Mr Trump a massage, to which she replied “no”.
Magician David Copperfield - 6
US magician David Copperfield was named six times in the first set of documents, having reportedly had dined with Epstein on occasion.
Copperfield’s relationship with Epstein has previously been noted, including in a 2019 article from The New York Times, which described Maxwell’s role in acquiring young girls for the disgraced financier.
Hollywood stars
Other big Hollywood names have also appeared in the documents, though mostly just once or twice during Ms Sjoberg’s testimony.
She is asked about meeting guests at Epstein’s residence, including Star Wars creator George Lucas – who is mentioned once – and actor Kevin Spacey, who is mentioned twice. Ms Sjoberg says she does not remember meeting either man.
She also does not remember meeting British supermodel Naomi Campbell, who is named once in the documents.
Late King of Pop Michael Jackson is also named twice, after Ms Sjolberg is asked if she met “anybody famous” while with Epstein. She said she did meet Jackson.
Alan Dershowitz - 166
Epstein’s lawyer Alan Dershowitz is also named over 100 times, though in some places this is simply in footnotes referring to legal matters.
Sharon Churcher - 324
British journalist Sharon Churcher has made over 300 appearances in the second tranche of documents, released on Thursday.
Ms Churcher was the sole source of regarding the original Epstein story from Giuffre, according to the response filing. Maxwell also claimed she helped Virginia Giuffre “concoct” s*xual assault allegations against the Duke of York.

Link: www. Independent.co.uk

Inspired by a blog i have just recently read, i offer the following.
It has been my unfortunate experience to be associated with a person for a period of time that was not the person I thought I knew.
Now I am not that easily fooled, but over a reasonable period of time I had taken time to befriend this person and delve into their life. We shared many private things together, things that maybe our family members may not know.
We shared many hours getting to know each other, understanding each other’s traits and getting to the stage (or so I thought) that we knew each other as well as we knew ourselves.
It has come to pass, that the person I had befriended had been living a life full of lies.
This is the problem with the telling of just one lie, unless you own up to it, another lie is needed to cover up the first lie, and then another to cover that one and so on, like a snowball rumbling down a mountain it just gathers speed and becomes out of control.
Before you know it, your life has become a complete and total lie.
Not are you lying to those around you, but more importantly to yourself. How can anyone have such little regard for their own life that they would continue creating another lie to cover the lie before that and on it goes.
It matters not what the lies are, your age, where you work, your friend’s name, where you went to school, creating extra family members, using other people’s pictures and passing them off as your own. Even your name, your qualifications, what sort of phone you have, inventing a child you never really had or stating that a family member has passed or has a terminal illness. It is just being deceitful.
Now I know some people will say a little white lie is ok, but if you don’t own up to that little white lie, you have to invent another lie, and that is a little bigger than the first and not as white either, until you have been caught in a web of deceit. WHY would anyone want to do that to themselves and to those who try and surround them with love?
I am no angel, yes I have lied in the past, and will no doubt find a reason to be untruthful in the future, but I have not, and will not live my life as a lie.
The biggest problem comes when that person believes their own lies are the truth, when that happens, how can anyone differentiate what is real and not real.
Just recently I have had to deal with a person like this, a person I respected and held in high regard, a person who I was proud to say was a friend. I found myself doubting everything this person said to me, and that made me feel terrible, as if I was letting this person down in some way.
I went away to try and clear my head, with the help of other friends I researched some of things I was told, what I found out was mind boggling, it completely floored me, how could I have been so naive, so gullible as to believe without question for so long what was being told to me.
I am not bitter, just confused/bewildered as to why some people go to the level of deceit that they do in order to lie to people. The level of the deceit I uncovered included the help of others, others that may have befriended many other people.
I feel betrayed, but the person has betrayed themselves more I think.
Can I help, should I help?
What would you do? The scariest thing is you may even know a person like this.

Tanjungpinang is small island and part of Bintan Island. The unique from this island. This island has tree governments. That is the municipal government Tanjungpinang, local governments Bintan, Riau Islands Province Government.

Okay, after finish enjoy the moment in Senggarang. You should visit this one. The Mangrove forests for tourism in Tanjungpinang close to the historical heritage of the kingdom of Riau-Johor-Pahang-Linga. To be located in the Upper River Carang, Tanjungpinang City.

While visiting the mangrove forest, tourists enjoy the beauty of the bias of existing mangrove forests. But also can re-learn the Malay heritage in the past. Its location known to the public around the city collapsed.



If you also like water park. Tanjungpinang also have water park. Yes, not to big but you can enjoy there and if you like seafood. Tanjungpinang has a lot seafood restaurant.


Then you also can find a good corn in Tepi Laut every night and also pujasera or food court. You can find the traditional food in Melayu Square, like Mie Lendir (noodle), ketoprak, teh tarik (tea), prata and so on.

.

I lost my documents for photos and data, so I can't find attractive photo. But next about Bintan. Mmmmm I bet you will enjoy the pictures there

When we finally get to meet the women of our dreams we are often disappointed because the object in our dreams is not quite as she described herself in her profile. Now don’t get me wrong; I not saying that women are liars, they just speak a different language than men and we often interpret their jargon incorrectly. Please note that I’m not blaming the women for this, the problem is with us.

Ok ladies, this is where you get off the bus; this is for men only. If you read on, it will be at your own risk because this may get vulgar. Don’t complain about it later.

And now that the ladies have left us, I’ll try to give you guys a few guidelines on how to read female profiles. I cannot go through all of it but here are a few good examples of the phrases/words they use in their profiles to describe themselves and what they really mean. If the time permits we can look at what they expect in a partner at afterwards.

When they say – It actually translates to
Accommodating – I take in boarders
Athletic Body – I can lick you any day, so watch your step
Caring – I’m looking after my sickly mother who lives in
Decent – I only curse when it slips out.
Elegant – I usually overdress and overdo make-up
Enjoy good food – I expect to be treated on expensive meals
Flexible – I don’t really know what I want
Friendly – I’m a flirt
Good Humored – I like to hear new dirty jokes
Good Looking – I can see well without specs
Healthy Body – I’m HIV positive but on ARVs
Honest – I only lie when I have to
Like Traveling – I commute to work every day
Literate – I passed Grade 4
Love Animals – I hate men
Modest – I m not a good conversationalist
No Mental Issues – I just blame it all to PMS
Religious – You won’t have sex with me until you promise to marry me
Sensitive – I have a short temper
Serious – I cannot take a joke
Sociable – I play the field
Sophisticated – I drink cheap wine out of fancy glasses
Understanding – I speak several languages
Well Informed – I gossip all the time
Well Read – I have a lot of comic books
Witty – I know a lot of dirty jokes

Sorry guys, we’ll have to cut this short. I think our private meeting had been infiltrated because I can smell Malaysian cupcakes and Irish home baked scones.

Memorize these phrases and their true meanings and you will understand their profiles so much better. I hope it helps.


And as always, you don’t have to pay me for this most valuable advice. I render it as a free service in order to promote a better understanding between the genders.

Hi everyone,

I'll try not to babble but here goes. I met a guy this time last year, from the outset he spoilt me, showered me with gifts, made me feel really special, bought me flowers on our first date, held doors open for me, you get my drift. He wanted to spend all his time with me, declared his love very early on. My feelings differed, I was a slow burner but as time went on my feelings grew. He told me he wanted nothing more than for me to move to where he was from, he told me he wanted to have kids with me etc. and even right up to the time we split he told me he wanted to bring me up the aisle. He broke up with me in May after 9 months together. I cut contact with him to help me get over the breakup,. He messaged me after one week saying how sorry he was but not wanting to reconcile and that he loved me. He then, after two weeks post breakup, sent my daughter a bday card with money inside and texted me again the following day to apologise about how things ended. I continued with no contact and asked him to respect my wishes. Roll on 5 weeks post breakup and he has updated his whatsapp pic to himself and new gf, which made me suspicious that he met her before we broke up, it would also coincide with his behaviour leading to the breakup. Well after no contact since, I get a phone call tonight from an unsaved number, it was him, ringing me to tell me he is after getting engaged, after only 3 months since our split. He went on to ring me once more, I didn't answer and has sent me three texts since saying he is really happy and hopes I'm happy for him too. I dont understand why he felt the need to ring me to tell me the news especially as I had requested no contact. I couldn't have found out about his engagenent as he lives in another county and he is not on social media so why the need to rub it in my face?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Also I know she is obviously a better fit for him, but I find his behaviour odd.

by Power Point Paradise • February 3, 2015 •

During the early 16th Century idealistic German monk Martin Luther, disgusted by the materialism in the church, begins the dialogue that will lead to the Protestant Reformation.

Actually Luther was a very good Catholic! He loved to flagellate himself and suffer for Christ, pray long prayers. He was (brace yourself..) a Scorpio, most of whom have an deep religious interest. Good organisers, although a bit of control freaks, but that was good, as he really gave the Reformation form and direction, and took control when run away Reformists like Karlstadt went too far, and became too violent, causing the peasants uprising and iconoclasm.

The thirty year war was really a result of the stubborn Roman Popes, clergy and established order, who did not want to reform, but wanted to keep their cozy situation with lots of money and politics. Inspite of the counter reformation that cleaned the Popish church up a little bit, the Catholic church failed to latch onto the new winds of change that God caused through Luther.

The Reformation wasn’t the first schism either in the Church of Christ, as the Greek Orthodox and Rome split several times until around the year 1000 AD when it became permanent. Luther’s questions in the movie to his professor in Witenberg brings this out well.

It is an inspiring movie, and very timely, as many of us will have to stand up for what we believe “by the grace of God” and not recant. May Luther give us faith and courage to be brave like him in these Last Days. By God’s grace alone!
**
EARTH HAS NO SORROW THAT HEAVEN CANNOT HEAL.

His Word is always a comfort and the Voice of His Spirit is always an encouragement in the hour of greatest trial. "The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us" (Rom.8:18). When you think about that, it helps you bear some of the things you have to go through now.
**

"Sorrow shall endure for a season, but joy cometh in the morning" Psalms 30:5

Keep your eyes on the Lord! Look forward to Heaven, and it will help you bear some of these burdens and trials that you're going through now when you realize these are only just for a moment! Now you see through a glass darkly, but soon it will all be clear and you'll understand. God's tomorrow is a beautiful place! You'll be with Jesus and all your loved ones, and no sorrow will be there, praise God!

"The tears shall be wiped away and the former things shall be no more in the glories of the ecstasies of the Kingdom to come!"

"It will be worth it all when we see Jesus!
Life's trials will seem so small, when we see Christ!
One glimpse of His dear face,
All sorrow will erase!
So bravely run the race,
'till we see Christ!"


PowerPointParadise TFI [Video Posted]

Communication...what a wonderful thing! But somehow, many of us use, misuse, abuse, or misinterpret almost 95% of the communication we give and receive.

Is there a language barrier? A resistance to change? A hidden agenda? Hearing only what we want to hear?

Perhaps these factors play a role, and many other variables are involved in even the simplest of communications. I can fully understand misinterpreting a message when multiple native languages, cultures, ideals, or backgrounds are involved...but I would like to think people speaking the same language would have less of an issue misinterpreting messages being delivered.

There are many ways we cloud our messages……euphemisms, metaphors, sarcasm, dryness, saying one thing but meaning another, twisting messages in ways that suit our best interest, or simply politics. Add to that mulitple communication devices....email, phone, message boards, and we have a haven for misunderstandings.

No wonder there are so many pissed off people, so many killings, so much road rage…….

Is there really a way to be clear in the delivery of our message and have it interpreted exactly as we intend? I think it is possible, but does not seem to happen as often as I would like....

Miscommunication can have some horrible consequences. Wars, death, wrongful arrests, ruined relationships, loss of family, friends, acquaintances, and even money.

Communications flow more easily once two people understand each others’ personality, motive, background, and direction in life. A mutual understanding and awareness of the preferred communication method, the intent of the message, and how the message will be received can prevent many future complications.....

Superb!

6 AM my time here and just finished watching the Season 6 Episode 1 in Putlocker...WOW, I can't get enough of those zombies Can hardly wait for Episode 2!

Not really a big fan of zombies but the story is really great, how those strangers bonded together, care for each other as a family...so many positive things to learn from those characters...

I love all of those characters but I'm sure some of you have your favorite. Who's yours?