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1. What thing is greater than mothers love?

2. What is warmer than Fathers Hug?

3. Which pillow is better than your life partners Chest or shoulder?

4. What is sweeter than your baby's kiss?

5. Who is a good protector than your brother's shadow

6. Which is a secure place of trust than a sister's heart?

7. Whose company is better than a friend's?



There are some things in life which have no substitutes

Two generations stayed up late watching Johnny Carson host of the Tonight Show.
I remember friends repeating some of the funny things he said. If you know the show, his side kick and co-host Ed McMahon would often lead Johnny into something funny.
For example:
Johnny would say "It was really hot today"
Ed would comment "How hot was it Johnny"
Carson would come back with "It was so hot, I saw a bird cooking a worm on the sidewalk"
Typically, there would be a rimshot from the band's drummer signifying a joke!

Some of the people he interviewed said funny things and they both would laugh to tears.
That's the way it was with Johnny.

There was a blooper when he interviewed the wife of famous pro-golfer Jack Nicklaus. He asked her if she did anything to give him good luck before an important match. She replied "I kiss his balls" Realizing what she had said, she corrected herself by saying "his golf balls" but that was too late as Johnny had the comeback "I bet that made his putter rise to the occasion" totally embarrassed, she left the stage.

I didn't get to see it, but another memorable moment was when Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the show. She was sitting in the chair with a cat on her lap. When she asked Johnny if he wanted to pet her p*ssy he said...


It was brought up years later by Jane Fonda.

Every time I look at the stars, I wonder if we will ever get there. It seems unlikely. Is our lifespan too short or are we simply snookered by distance?

Alpha Centauri, our closest neighbor outside our own solar system, is almost four and a half light-years away. This means that if we could travel at one tenth of the speed of light - and we cannot even remotely - it would still take us 45 years to get there. That is 90 years for the return trip with no time for any sight seeing. Few of us will outlive the entire journey.

If we were to attempt to make the journey with one of the space shuttles, it would take 135,000 years just to get there. However, hitching a ride with one of the Voyagers seems to be a better bet. The one-way trip will only take 75,000 years. Alas, we just don’t live long enough to do it.

When we look at our current technology, it seems unlikely that we will get there first and then we don’t even know if Alpha Centauri has any habitable planets. The single planet discovered so far orbiting that star is far too hot to support life as we know it. Life, as we know it, may be much further away.

Therefore, it seems a much safer bet to wait until those little green men arrive here but I not sure if ‘safer’ is the right word. If these beings arrive here, they may not be that well disposed towards us. If they display the same imperialism as our earlier European powers, we’re going to be in for a rough ride. How would you fancy having to perform slave labor on a Drakonian farm? Aliens may even have a taste for long pig… also known as human meat.

Then, on the other hand, maybe those on the other side are sitting with the same problems. It may explain the lack of any real evidence regarding ‘visits’ to our planet for all we had so far are rumors and conspiracy theories. One such theory has it that the far side of the moon is infested with aliens and that the Americans had been warned off the moon; that is why they’re no going there any more!

And I don’t know why everybody just assumes that intelligent extra-terrestrial life has to be humanoid. Maybe when they get here, they will simply proceed with their journey after failing to find intelligent life!


Have a great day and don't go flying too far

The Evolution Of Man And Woman

My name is Elegsabiff, and I am a matchmaker. I talk to a woman in Gotham City, she seems nice, I suggest a man in Metropolis. They are both horrified but surely, surely, both single and in the same country, they need someone to point out that they are both single and in the same country? On a social website. Where every time we log in we are presented with every single of the opposite sex within 500 miles.

Oh. Right.


I see a man giving advice to a woman on a blog, and I leap in to suggest they should be together - oh no, hang on, that's why I'm here. To learn it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

This is hard. Bring me coffee!

There Is No Answer.... When It Comes To Guns Here.... in The United States..........In Probably Would Be A Different Story..If... From The Start ....There Were No Guns To Begin With..............But They Are Here..In The USA...And Theyre Here To Stay..............Unless Of Course...You Can Kill Every Gun Owner...Because... Theres No Other Way For The Government To Take Them Away

Guns..Are A Part Of Americas Heritage
And Besides..If They Were Able To Take Away Every Single Fire Arm?
The Black Market Would Surface
And...At The Least?...Only The Bad Guys Would Have Guns
Im Not Advocating For The Ownership Of Guns....Nor ...Am I Against Having Them
There Are The Pros... And The Cons.... When It Comes To The Subject Of Guns
For Your information..I Am Not An Owner Of A Gun...I Wouldnt Want One..(As Of Yet)

But Get Used To It People... And Accept The Fact... That Guns...... Will Always Be Here

What Im Trying To Convey Is... That Its Too Late Now To Argue About Guns...Theyre Already Here

I Cant Help But Think Of That Security Guy.... Or Cop....Who...While Laying There Wounded On The Ground
Pleading For His Life....Was Shot Dead By The.... "Armed Bad Guy Terrorist"

(I Wonder.... If This Wouldve Happened)

(If He Was Armed In The First Place?)

Seems whilst we've been talking about the return of the ISIS bride this is just the tip of the iceberg a tweet from President Trump -
“the caliphate is ready to fall. The United States is asking Britain, France, Germany and other European allies to take back over 800 ISIS fighters that we captured in Syria and put them on trial. “The alternative is not a good one in that we will be forced to release them.”

He then went on to say “The U.S. does not want to watch as these ISIS fighters permeate Europe, which is where they are expected to go. We do so much, and spend so much - Time for others to step up and do the job that they are so capable of doing. We are pulling back after 100% caliphate victory!”

In the west we've got used to putting our rubbish in bins & leaving it to someone else to deal with, looks like we're about to get it back

Object sexuality or objectophilia is where humans are attracted to inanimate objects, They often feel love and commitment and believe that objects have souls, intelligence and feelings as well as being able to communicate.

Ive blogged about shopping trolleys, Toasters and today Ive mentioned my collection of cheese graters. In my case it seems I am attracted to smaller domestic items, Ive read about women in love with concrete and one who actually married the Eifle tower

Having once dated a shopping trolley I know too well what happens when seduced by other objects, let's just say it ended badly when I had an affair with a coffee machine.

Im not saying I dont like women, I love women, I love everything about them, a woman's smile, their soft skin, their eyes and scent are man's gifts from the gods.

Lets see how many of you out there admit you like inanimate objects...

Did you know that the majority of accidents happen right at home ?
Most of those happen right in the bathroom.

Safety is of great concern !
Indeed, health is crucial.

Thus, in an effort to make things as safe as
possible for the ladies,
for a small fee (varies with client conditioning)
I am more than happy to apply my skills
to help keep ladies safe.

I've decided to become the area's finest....
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Bathtub lifeguard.