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I had a lovely Friend in USA , we met here on cs and became friends,we accepted each other for friends till last breath
we used to talk on the cs, phone and messenger for years and had lot of conversion and fun together , we both were very happy and spending a Happy time with lot of happiness and fun.

in 2009 ,she traveled to Pakistan to meet but unfortunately she was deported (will share later ).

everything was going very well , in Aug 2012 ,suddenly she disappeared
her phones were off ,i tried hard to find and reach her but no any information,i requested one of my friend in USA to please write her a letter to find out ,he wrote her and after the few days the letter returned to him ,no one received OR somebody returned back.

After a long long search of years i find a sad news on an obituary Website , My Friend departed the Life ,The Heavenly lady passed away on 4th of Sept 2012 ,it was so sad , so very sad to see that ,she passed away and i didn't even know that,she was a gem and beauty of women and a symbol of love ,respect and care .
Inlillahi wa ina alaihi Rajuan(we all have to returned to Allah/God)

my cs fellows,I Request to all of you to kindly recite some words of pray for my Friend

not to bash anyone in particular ( men) but most men have a one track mind they cant see past boobs and va*ina to develop a good relationship with the opposite s*x.
smh.

I know this has been blogged about before but - that odd moment when you look at a profile pic and there's a *ping* in your head.

Half the time of course you then realize the pic is familiar because it's been borrowed from a celebrity

And sometimes you make friends, even meet, on CS and there had been no *ping* at all at the start.

But it happened with a few profile pics. One was female and eventually became a buddy - one was male and when he then wrote to me I thought ooh, I knew the minute I laid eyes on you and where is this going? Well, nowhere, as it turns out, just buddies.

And quite often nothing ever happens at all - the pinger leaves CS or is a bit of a prat, or puts up a different pic and you're like oh no, ew

Once I hurried off to look up a profile and tchah, he was in his forties and looking for females aged 18 to 25. So the ping is not always true.

But one day, maybe, I will get the *ping* and it could be a true *ping*, a *soulmate approaching* warning.

Ooh, look! A flying pig!

So, worked with a guy 20 years ago who looks like Sean Connery, stayed on friendly terms ever since, phone calls, occasional emails, even visits, I liked his GF, we all got on well. Now he is single and has got in touch (not to ask me out, just to tell me) and my first reaction? YES.

Second reaction - non-smoker. I'd have to quit, and mean it.

Third reaction - he gets up at 05h00 by choice and preference. Well, that's fine in a friend, but in a potential partner?

Anyway. Point of this blog - have you ever changed for someone?

Would you?

Don't think I could, or would, but he is SUCH a nice guy ...

Over the past 2 months I've been communicating with a woman on CS,
who is fairly close to me here in New Jersey (USA).

More recently we've talked on the phone a few times and perhaps a friendship is developing.

We were supposed to go out on a date tonight.
But, I just got an email from her stating that she needed to cancel that date.
I said "OK, but why ?"

She said that she "wasn't feeling well and was more than a bit horse".
I said that I hoped she was "feeling better soon".

While she was probably telling the truth,
I couldn't help but wonder,
if perhaps it was just an excuse she made up.
So, I asked her if she was just chickening out.
She reassured me, that she wasn't chicken
and really was more than a bit horse and
would send me an email with a photo to prove it.

When I got the email I could see that she
was truly legit;
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

---- IMAGE REMOVED because photobucket.com no longer allows embedded images ----

I’m still surprised at how many people join Connecting Singles believing that the love of their lives is going to drop into their laps over-night. That only happens in fairy land.

They don’t seem to realize that to find a partner here, you need to market yourself in a proper way just as you would in the real world? Those who cannot find love in the real world, won’t find it here either. They will only open themselves to scammers.

Some try too hard, some are too desperate, some are too full of themselves, some are too placid and some others are just too full of shìt. You have to find a balance in your assault. You cannot hunt a whale with a bow and arrow and you cannot shoot sardines with a harpoon.

Telling everybody how desperate and lonely they are will only solicit a little sympathy… and not even much of it which makes me wonder what they really want; sympathy or a partner?

And by shooting into the bunch, hoping for a random hit by indicating that just anybody will do, is rather lame and will achieve even less. All of us want to be special; chosen, not just another somebody picked in random fashion.

While it is true that CS creates many more opportunities to meet people, you will not get it on a platter. CS only creates the platform from where to operate but when the opportunity presents itself, you have to make the best of it.

Yet, getting the attention of the opposite gender is not that difficult. There is no need to be extravagant in anything; actually most people don’t like that. To use that worn-out cliche; just be yourself. The average woman wants an average man and vice versa.

If you are neat, not standing out too much in the crowd (being dead normal) and dressed to the occasion, somebody of the opposite gender is bound to show some interest in you no matter where you are; be that a disco, a charity function or a church bazaar. The world is full of single people looking for somebody to share their lives with; all we need to do is to look around to see them.

And I repeat, cruel as it may sound, if you cannot get somebody in real life, it is unlikely that you’re going to succeed here.


A wonderful day to all of ya!

I should have taken my late grandfathers advice when he said that women were made to love; not to understand. Now, with hindsight, it makes perfect sense. After all, there is no logic in love either.

The source of my current confusion is my ex girlfriend. She broke up with me two weeks ago. This did not come as a complete surprise as we saw very little of each other, though we did enjoy each other when we were together. The surprise was more in the timing – she did it one day before her birthday.

Anyway, she phoned me the same evening to hear if I was OK; as if I was going to hang myself in the garage.

Then the next morning she called me to remind me that I promised her a night out on her birthday. Well, we went eating out, had a few drinks at a nearby pub and went home. She stayed for the night.

The confusing part is that while she regularly reminds me that we’re no longer an item, she now spends more time with me than ever before; and she no longer goes to those boring parties. When her friends call, she declines their invitations. She spends her weekends with me, doing the things I want to do. And I now have a key to her place.

Before she broke up she used to sleep over one night a week (normally on a Sunday or a Monday) and we went out Wednesday evenings. Since she broke up (22 November) until now, she only slept at her home three times. And every time she asked me to spend the night at her place. I accepted once.

She has a way to break surprises while I’m still half asleep. This morning she asked me if she can spend her holiday (16 Dec – 6 Jan) here with me. “But you are here in anyway”, I said.

“No”, she replied, “not like that. I mean coming here with a suitcase, as if I’m a thousand miles from home, not going home to change.” She’ll chip in with the food, she added. All this only a few hours since she last reminded me that we’re not an item anymore.

Well, try as I want, I cannot understand her train of thoughts. Maybe if I try not to understand, I eventually will.

You have a wonderful day.

Ever had that thing when you think someone is funny and intelligent, and then you meet the people they think are funny and intelligent and oops -

I'm still buddies with a bloke I dated for a short while and the other day we got together for drinks, he was really keen for me to meet the current lady because he knew we'd get on like a house on fire.

Well, I don't know why he ever dated me, is all I can say, because if ever someone was my polar opposite, she is

Ever had that? Unnerving, innit?

From

It's well known that people say and do things in cyberspace that they wouldn't ordinarily say or do in the face-to-face world. They loosen up, feel more uninhibited, express themselves more openly. Researchers call this the "disinhibition effect." It's a double-edged sword. Sometimes people share very personal things about themselves. They reveal secret emotions, fears, wishes. Or they show unusual acts of kindness and generosity.

On the other hand, the disinhibition effect may not be so benign. Out spills rude language and harsh criticisms, anger, hatred, even threats. Or people explore the dark underworld of the internet, places of pornography and violence, places they would never visit in the real world.

On the benign side, the disinhibition indicates an attempt to understand and explore oneself, to work through problems and find new ways of being. And sometimes, in toxic disinhibition, it is simply a blind catharsis, an acting out of unsavory needs and wishes without any personal growth at all.

What causes this online disinhibition? What is it about cyberspace that loosens the psychological barriers that block the release of these inner feelings and needs? I expand on these ingredients that contribute to the ODE.

You Don't Know Me (dissociative anonymity)
You Can't See Me (invisibility)
See You Later (asynchronicity)
It's All in My Head (solipsistic introjection)
It's Just a Game (dissociative imagination)
We're Equals (minimizing authority)

1. You Don't Know Me (dissociative anonymity)

As the word "anonymous" indicates, you can have no name - at least not your real name. That anonymity works wonders for the disinhibition effect. When people have the opportunity to separate their actions from their real world and identity, they feel less vulnerable about opening up. Whatever they say or do can't be directly linked to the rest of their lives. They don't have to own their behavior by acknowledging it within the full context of who they "really" are. When acting out hostile feelings, the person doesn't have to take responsibility for those actions. In fact, people might even convince themselves that those behaviors "aren't me at all." In psychology this is called "dissociation."

2.You Can't See Me (invisibility)

In many online environments other people cannot see you. You don't have to worry about how you look or sound when you say (type) something. You don't have to worry about how others look or sound when you say something. Seeing a frown, a shaking head, a sigh, a bored expression, and many other subtle and not so subtle signs of disapproval or indifference can slam the breaks on what people are willing to express. In psychoanalysis, the analyst sits behind the patient in order remain a physically ambiguous figure, without revealing any body language or facial expression, so that the patient has free range to discuss whatever he or she wants, without feeling inhibited by how the analyst is physically reacting. In everyday relationships, people sometimes avert their eyes when discussing something personal and emotional. It's easier not to look into the other's face. Text communication offers a built-in opportunity to keep one's eyes averted.

What about the other points? May people dicuss about those here? When we understand the bias of internet on our personality then we will understand us better in the context of our actions on cyber social media. Until that all the feedbacks we get will be misinterpreted and we will develope and grow an alter ego.

Do you like to melt into the arms of your lover in long passionate kisses, or are you content with those simple pecks on the lips?

Do the surroundings make a difference to how you kiss?
For example, is stopping for a passionate kiss in St Marks square in Venice the same as stopping for a passionate kiss in the center of a shopping mall?

Perhaps you are a lip sucker, a kiss pucker or even a tooth tonguer, how do you kiss or like to be kissed?