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With a week away from Christmas ,
Most of us are Christmas shopping.
They say its more blessed to give than to receive.
But
what gift would you like to receive from that "special person " ?

when someone acts badly we assume instantly that's how they really are, and yet when someone acts in a nice way we assume it won't last?

Went out for drinks the other night with a woman I've been getting friendly with at the office - NICE woman. A friendly guy offered to buy us a drink and she changed completely - ow, go on then and hissed to me, when he went obediently to buy said drinks 'make an excuse and leave, okay?'

Okayyy. See ya, wouldnae wanta be ya. Never realized what a tart she was. Huh. Back to her bright funny interesting self the next day, but now I know. Right?

Another colleague, another drinks night, suddenly laughing too loudly at stupid jokes, crude and boorish, what a moron. Now we know what he really is, right?

Then take a guy with a lifelong passion for practical jokes, suddenly being romantic. Oh well, THAT can't be real, am I right?

See, we instantly believe the first two are showing their true colours. Third one, we wait for it to pass, or for the joke to be revealed.

Was that your reaction to the examples as well? Why?

I noticed something yesterday, I had friends round for a BBQ and they are very much in love, I noticed that they had very similar facial features.

Ive done a lot of research and normal couples do seem to have similar facial attributes, these could be eyes, noses, mouths etc.

I did see that celebrity couples did NOT have any similar facial attributes, that explains why they always seem to have short relationships.

So when looking for that perfect partner and what attracts us to them do they have similar features to us?

Think back to when (if) you were once in a very happy relationship and look for these similarities.

Being a man would you date a woman who is taller then you ? As a woman would you date a man who,is shorter then you ?

Getting ready for that first meeting, half-mocking yourself, half-hoping. He looks nice, he makes you laugh, if nothing else it will be fun. Nerve-wracking, but fun, even if there’s nothing more. But what if there is? The music plays in the background, builds the mood, makes you dance as you get ready, feeling the tingle build.

You’re slightly nervous, so you put on too much makeup, and an expressionless doll stares back out the mirror. Nope. Tone it down. Wayyy down.

Which lippy? The natural, the vampy dark one? But if he hates lippy, the vampy dark one will be a disaster. Go for the natural.

Scent: throat, nape of the neck, wrists. You grin at your reflection and impulsively add a dab at the backs of your knees. Who knows, he could be tracking it down ...

The third outfit you try on is the one. Wow! HOT. Do the twirl – yup. Work it, work it . . .

Damn, wish I had a date tonight! For all of you getting ready to go out, far too busy to read this blog, you look FAB. Have a brilliant time – and don’t forget to tell us all about it!

Just an observation and not that it matters at all to me, however, from posts made over the past month or so it is evident that a shed load of members on CS live in fantasy land.

I am not pointing fingers at anyone in particular so dont get on your high horse thinking I am talking about specific people... I'm not, I am just generalizing.

Ok... So here we go.....
1)The tales of woe..
Oh dear, oh dear, I gave him my heart... and he's married... Geeez!

2)Eternal love..
It's true, it's true, she told me she loved me and that our 30 year age gap was just a number... Hellooooo!

3)It's not just sex..
He told me, he did, we have a meaningful relationship... get a grip!

4)Plan B
I booked it, yay! Flying to another country to go see her/him, we've never talked or seen each other and its only been a week but I know in my heart, she/he's the one... Yeah right!

5)I'm in love
I love you, I love you too, Oh! he/she soooooo funny, makes me laugh, we talk for hours and hours, its so romantic..... Wakie, wakie!

6)The saint
He/she understands, she/he really does, although we have never met and he/she knows my life is a mess but our love is strong enough to cope, he/she tells me so, he/she is sooooo thoughtful and compassionate..... Errrrm really?

For whatever reason, people seem to get themselves into a situation that has "disaster" written all over it. By the time they realize what they have done, hearts have been broken, faith destroyed and in some cases lives ruined.

For those of you that say "I dont... " or "I wont be..." or "I would never..." I would say, dont be so sure, when someone ticks all the boxes its easy to loose sight of reality regardless of whether you think your feet are firmly grounded.

This is when I was younger...much younger.

I didn't realize that men required/need/deeply appreciate (to a psychological level at times) praise from their woman. I am willing to bet that many men did not realize that either.

How could we? Well, I will actually speak from my perspective...how would I? I only dated one woman in my life...it lasted 13 years, but I never dated many women. That is not the way I am wired. I respect a relationship and everything about it. Now of course, there are some men out there that have different wiring than myself; however, I think the topic of this blog is still relevant to you as well.

Okay, back to it then. I didn't realize that men required praise from their woman. It is healthy for a man's self-esteem, his motivation to succeed, to be happy, to be the best possible self he can be. There is nothing wrong with a man being all these things....is there?

The reason why I bring this up is because back in the day, when I was in the middle of that 13 year relationship, I had heard on many occasions from the woman I was dating, she would tell me, "I am not going to give you praise." At the time, I thought to myself, I am not asking for any praise. I am going to continue on with my success and what I am doing in life with our without your praise...needless to say, I was not doing these things for her praise anyway. It was for survival in this tough world.

However...just moments ago I was listening to a pod cast by a certain somebody ...I won't mention his name...and he had a whole show about praise....and how not only women should praise their man, but they should also praise their man in public.

The bottom line...it was an ironic event, and I am thinking there must be something to it...my ex-gf used that exact word back then, and today that blogger used the same word. There must be some importance to it.

P.R.A.I.S.E.

Public display of following traits.
Respect
Accepting
Investing
Sacrificing
Enthusiastically

What do you think men and women....should women praise their man?

....also I would like to ask...

What does it mean if they don't praise you?
or
What does it mean if they do praise you?

If your woman is not "investing" in you, is that a troubling sign for the relationship?

Of course, this topic of praise is about a high value man...a man who is not toxic in anyway....

I have my own views on this but would love to hear your thoughts ,

Still waiting for him? Well, he’s probably arrived many times before but you did not recognize him because his arrival was not announced by trumpets and church bells. You have probably mistaken him for Don Quixote or his squire, Sancho Panza. Yep, maybe he arrived on a donkey.

Instead you followed your brain's chemistry and went for the shiny armor and big plume on the helmet; just to get a decent lay. While it is important to confirm s*xual compatibility early on, there are other equally important things to consider.

Beware of the one on the white horse and shiny armor. He’s a tournament player and has done no real battle. Your hero may arrive on a hungry and bleeding horse; weak, wounded and battle-weary, with a broken sword, his armor in tatters and his banner torn. You may need to help him off his horse and nurse him until his wounds are healed.

This is the time when his character will show; when he’s weak and on his knees. If you think he’s the one for you, sell his horse, bury his sword, burn his banner, and melt his armor because when he is strong again, he'll just ride off to slay more dragons.

Have a wonderful day.

PS
No dragons were hurt during the production of this blog.

So - I finally got my salary offer for relocating - let's call it 15% on existing salary. Thanks, I said, but no thanks. Manager instantly said okay, 25% up on existing salary. WTH?

So - my car insurance quote came through the door, £400. 16 years with the same company, 9 years no-claim bonus, that seemed high. Same post, another insurer offering good prices, I got a quote on line. Like-for-like, plus plus, £258. I rang my insurers to say I was cancelling and they instantly reduced the £400 quote to just over £300. WTH?

How far does this haggling thing go? Let's say I'm talking to someone and he suggests meeting for a casual pub lunch. Should I be haggling? Should I counter-offer "tell you what, send a taxi to collect me and by the way you're picking up the tab" just to open the negotiations, see what his counter-offer is?

Life is all about bargaining, we know that, but it seems to have gone into a new era where perhaps we have to haggle about everything. So should we be haggling about meeting up? Maybe you already do?



By the way, the World Health Organisation recently declared that anyone who can't find a partner (mainly for procreation, but I don't think they specified) within a year of starting to look, should be classified as disabled. WTH?

NOW who wants to open negotiations?