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Sulking is a nurtured anger combined with a refusal to discuss the cause of that anger. When we sulk we need our partners to understand and to refrain from doing anything to get us out of it.

(We're not talking about chronic sulkers today and I'm concentrating on sulks where the anger was not caused by the partner but by an external source, maybe work-related, and as such not aimed at the partner. Although the sulker needs time to work out the anger alone, he/she may not need or want to be alone.)

Do you get uptight or worried when your partner goes into a sulk? Don't. You should feel honored when at the receiving end of a sulk. It means that your partner trusts you enough to believe that you understand his or her unspoken hurt without having to explain it. That is one of the gifts of love.

Sulking can be traced back to our earliest childhoods; the silent understanding. In the womb, we never had to explain. Our every need was catered for and this continued well into our first few carefree years. We didn’t have to ask; caring and loving grown-ups guessed what we needed. They found the reasons for our discomforts while we were unable to put it to words.

That is probably why even the most eloquent among us may prefer not to spell things out when our partners fail to understand us properly. Only when we don’t have to explain do we feel certain that we are properly understood and only then do we believe that our partners fully understand us.

We may be adults living in an adult world but deep inside we remain infants; needing our partners to be our parents. We need them to correctly guess what is troubling us, as our parents did when we were babies; the time when our concepts of love were first formed.

We do our sulking lovers the greatest possible favor when we are able to handle their tantrums as we would handle those of an infant.


Now don't sulk; here is a banana for you.

The reasons why people enter into relationships or decide to get married are many and varied.
In many cases “love” is not the initial primary factor, what seems to count for more is that the person we intend to spend our lives with is a “good” person that will care for us, respect us and provide for our needs.

“I always felt he never loved me”... was an admission made to me the other day, yet this particular woman was married for almost 30 years.

Has this been the case for you or anyone you know and as much as love takes many forms, is it really necessary to “be in love” to have a fruitful and contented life with someone?

Was dating in the 90’s more natural and easier than it is today? Or is dating easier now with all the technology of dating sites and apps? Which do you prefer?

True Friendship

Strictly speaking, I miss being in a LDR. All those texts and messages and chatting on skype and cramming an entire relationship into an hour or two a day: planning the next holiday together, sharing virtual lives, it’s a rush. Anyone who’s been in a fun LDR knows exactly what I mean. It seems so intense, but really it isn’t too time-consuming at all. A blast of heat to warm the rest of the day, a week together here and there to feel thoroughly decadent, nice.

When you’re seeing someone (relatively) local and he wants to be together every weekend, what's that all about? Back off, mate, I need space.

Can't believe I'm saying this (I HATE flying) but I think I’m back in the market for an LDR. I really must look to see if there’s a website that specializes in those, offering fellas who are fun, interesting, able to write lucidly, sound and look good on skype, and want to be in touch every day, no matter how briefly. Plus of course be good company during those times when LD becomes CU.

Now how do I word that in my profile without sounding decidedly dodgy and scammerish?

I'm going to add comments as I think of things, but feel free to squeeze a word in edgeways, especially if you have good suggestions for the perfect LDR.

List 5 qualities, in order of importance, that your partner must have. Why are these qualities important to you? Which ones are less important? Why?





Money
Love
Respect
Faithfulness
Honesty
Integrity
Good Looks
Great Body
Trustworthy
Sense of Humor

Why Men Love Bitches?
Doormat to Dream girl..

Are we obligated to satisfied another person....one whom you may be just a friend with...to answering all of their questions, including personal questions that are really none of their business? In return, they make threats if you do not and even hold you emotionally hostage.

It is nice to try to be there for some people and try and understand them. But, it is another thing when they try and run over the top of you like a freight train with their self-proclaimed "warrior" perception of themselves.

Anyway....just some thoughts here.

Happy Friday all.



As a side note....a "warrior" who tries and use their words, intellect, and manipulation is nothing against a person who is not willing to play the game with them.

Are relationships as complicated as some people make them out to be?

Surely, once the initial adjustments have been made, the relationship should run smoothly, in synchronization with each other, almost automatic?

I maybe a lunatic but I know exactly what I want in life. I know I'm having hard time making up my mind sometimes but in every confusion brought by external forces, there's a clearer answer deep in my heart.

I know I don't want to end up a lonely bitter old woman one day...sitting in a corner,weighing someone else's options, fantasizing of being fantasized by whole world and dreaming of a perfect man to come along.

It's never easy to make a relationship work...it's gamble...a risky business that needs a lot of physical, emotional, social, mental and material investments. Finding the right person to invest everything you've got is the hardest part...but once you found that person, you better give him/her your best shot...no holds barred.

So many people are afraid to give their all for love...wary and scared to trust. Many dream of love and happiness but only few stay awake to selflessly, courageously seek and succeed.

Frustrations, depressions and bitterness can push us farther to delusions and illusions...worse part, they don't even realized it for they are so absorbed with their own perfection and high expectations.

Maybe if we take a closer look at ourselves, we might be able to see and accept our imperfections, work on it....start all over again, baggage-free...then maybe, just maybe we will end up happier.

Happy Friday everyone