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Maybe i am not that lucky to be able to be with a man who listen to what i said. What drives me mad is that it seems like forgetting what i said or whay he said is not a big deal at all.
"How am i suppose to remember conversations that happen even 3 days ago ?" he said
"umm geez I dont know , maybe because it suppose to meant something ?"


And the best part of my day today was i am the one who get the outrage because i communicate with friends who actually listen to what i said!
Is he bloody kidding me ? what happen to part that he forgot what he said ? about being so defensive ? and the bloody outrage at me ?
Im so annoyed, I can see smoke coming out of my head. Now i have all this why inside my head that need answers....



All this fairy tale is full of sh*t
One more stupid love song I'll be sick !

It has been 12 years since we have been apart. We have seen each other from time to time...and me, I always avoided her if I could. Whenever I would see her out, she was with a different guy each time. Honestly, it never bothered me. I was glad to see her out and hopefully happy. However, from what I knew of her...she really took a path of destruction in her life. There was nothing good I have ever heard from others about her. Again, I didn't care...we were not together but these people knew we were together and could never hold back from telling me...she did this...she got involved here and there....all of it was never good.

When she first cheated on me, which ultimately lead to me breaking up with her....initially...I told myself that she would genuinely apologize, that I would consider trying to make things work. At least at that time, I would believe she honestly felt bad about her actions and just maybe, she would consider me in the relationship if we stay together. After we initially separated, days went by and then weeks....yet, no apology. Then that is when I figured, this is indeed the end and prepared my life for a new path.

Last night rolls around, twelve years later. My buddy and I decide to go out to the casino, get a bite to eat and play a quick $20 in the machines. I sit on one machine and my buddy says, I will be over here. I check what direction he walks in so I can find him later and I play my machine. After playing, I get up and go looking for him. When I walk around a cluster of machines, there he is...sitting next to my ex and chatting with her. Initially my reaction is just to turn around...never seen...and just walk away, but I am getting tired and want to round up my buddy. So there is where it all starts. My ex and I end up sitting for an hour chatting. She is drunk and emotionally all over the place....going on about how she is single and hinting at getting a room there. I just change the subject and listen.

At this time, I am dropping subtle hints about it is getting late and I am tired and I need to go. As we are departing, she says...I am sorry for everything. An apology after 12 years. I did give her a hug and then left.

I think that is the first time I heard that word from her mouth...ever.

Now of course she was drunk. But it is said that when people are drunk, their filters come down. Meaning..that they feel freer to express what is really going on in their heads.

Has she seen enough of the single life to realize that grass was not greener?
Was she just feeling lonely at that moment and just wanted company?
Or, was she genuinely sorry and wanted to make amends?
Or, should it be just another "thing"...and once trust is lost...it is lost for ever?

What do you think?

I don’t understand men, and where in blazes is the handbook? How can we have evolved alongside each other for hundreds of thousands of years and not have a CLUE? I don't even understand my male friends any more.

My brother was full of advice. “Always tell the truth, say what’s on your mind, and tell a man what you want, we’re not psychic.”

Yeah, THAT worked. We fell out a few years back and he hasn’t spoken to me since. Family inheritances cause way more trouble than they’re worth, by the way. Cut your kids out, leave the money to charity.

Without him there to translate men to me I gave them a wide berth for some years. That all changed in 2014 through a series of events and by the time 2015 crawled out its nappy I was with a man who was so violently, passionately and intensely in love it was frankly unnerving. Because I don’t understand men at all I thought he was in love with me but turned out he was violently, passionately and intensely in love with my pedestal and one day I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands.

A casual long-term friend of mine was going through a breakup and we joked that we would date each other until we’d got used to be being single again. He’s pure rocket-scientist, complicated, difficult, and 15 years younger, nicely distracting, but then that got intense as well. Ohhhhh no. No more intense, thanks. We did eventually struggle back to the more comfortable status of friends (phew) and I said that’s it, not again.

Then I met a third man (I know. IN A YEAR. It’s raining men) funny, generous, wicked, and tailor-made for me - and for the next year he will be working in some fairly peculiar and VERY distant parts of the world.

So I’m officially handing in my lipstick. That’s my new year resolution – giving up on men, instead focusing on good works, and becoming rich, successful and uncomplicatedly happy. Well, that’s the idea. So if any one of you see me flirting here on CS, just wag a finger at me and point me back at this blog. Deal?

Ta.

The main problem of the internet and with sites like CS is that those do not offer the possibility to have a party between us.
At a party are invited the people who have something in common and have fun together. The other are excluded. Forums, groups or chat rooms should have somehow same functionality. You may join to a group but you cannot exclude the people from it.

In real life, many years ago, in some cases also today, a party is exclusive. I invite a friend, and he invites a friend, and so on. Somehow the people at the party have things in common. That does not means that no conflict may rise, but the probability is lower.

So this function of, we may say, have a party, to create a exclusive chat room, for two hours, (like in the office- a meeting room) where only invited people may enter is missing. This function may force the people to act carefully when posting, trying to make real friends.

People are here because of many reasons. May be people who do not open their heart easy, posting on forums or blogs, nor writing messages to strangers. They need time to open, slowly. So participating to a party, invited by someone one trust, is more productive, than staying hidden and just reading posts. You may communicate with people same to you.

I get a message from a women starting like this : "Why are you on this site when on your profile writes you are in relationship? I want to understand why you cheat your wife?"

My dear friends, life is not black and not white, has a lot of nuances of gray. People cannot judge other people based on the published profile or on the posts. Most people do not post. They expect that someone will send a message. But why should one do this? 50 rows of profile description say nothing about the person. If people do not participate to discussions nobody will know who one really are.
Posting is the first step. Next are private discussion. Perhaps this jump is too much. Perhaps you need some intermediate step ... the party. Exclusive groups/chats where people join based on invitation. This may let people to connect more selective, grouped by affinity. Chatrooms active for two hours, next deleted. Especialy during weekend. This may be more closer to real life. Of course this internet connection does not solve the physical issue. Real physical attraction, which is absolut necessary if you real y want a partner who should share your bedroom.

It was just an idea. I am not sure that will work ... but I have the right to think about it.

Does your true 'personality' siphon thru on the blogs? Some would say: Only the Split ones...

"One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people." (Unknown)

Need an activity partner,read this on many profiles,just wondering what type of activities are these people interested in..........

Let's call him A (for Adventure ) he's around 50, a good technician, will never have a problem finding a job, right now he's up for technical manager at his company with one other candidate and feeling increasingly stressed. He and his wife used to do a lot of hiking, and he wants to quit the job and go hiking for a month in the mountains to re-set his head. The route he's looking at has scattered villages but there would also be some nights they'd have to camp out.

His wife, a full-time housewife, takes a little persuading. She leaves all the route-planning and arrangements up to him but finds out all the kit they will need, buys it, packs it, and sorts their iron rations. They’ll be limited to a 40kg load – it is understood he will carry the 30kg backpack, she the 10kg one. He will pitch the tent on the nights they sleep out, sort the campsite (including lighting the fire), she will cook nutritious meals, make chunky sandwiches for each following day, and warm his sleeping bag at night. She's genuinely looking forward to it.
Or
His wife is completely up for it, and gets her employers to agree she can take the month off. They study the route together, shop together, and will carry equal 20kg packs. They’ll share all the chores and take it in turns to lead the climb, and since good sleep is essential, they will pitch their tents alongside each other on the nights they sleep out
Or
She tells him he’s insane and simply reacting to stress at the office. If he ducks out now he will never recover the ground he’s about to lose, all the time he has invested in his career so far will be put back years. She suggests instead that he go for a weekend hike with a friend from his climbing group.
Or
She says oh, okay, when will you go? Enjoy yourself!

Which wife would he want – and, maybe a different answer, which wife does he need?

(For those who think I use CS only for book research, yes and no - this isn't a book in the making but yup, genuinely interested in what people think)

Or Am I Being Weak Here?

I, for one need a man. I paid too high a price for my so-called freedom and independence which I start to detest when I’m lonely and in need of support and appreciation from a MAN. Freedom and independence sound great but what would you be willing to give up for it? When I was going through that painful divorce , the thought of being free and independent was such a comfort. I told myself it would be nice to be free again, live my life the way I want it, do what I want, cook what I want, come and go anytime and wherever I want…and I’m doing all of that now. The truth is, I’m not proud of it, I’m unhappy and I feel such a huge void inside me when I’m alone and no one to talk to and cuddle with.

I’m in a long distance relationship and I’ll be lying if I say that I’m happy and content with exchanging messages, photos, naughty sexy chats and exchanging comforting words over the phone with someone living in another country and just meet up for long weekend every few months. The truth is...It sucks!


I miss having a man beside me, to talk to… and argue with every few bad days of the month, the same man I will rely on when things fall apart, same man who will make me feel protected and tells me all will be OK, same man who will make me feel desirable, wanted and needed . I miss having someone who asks me how’s my day, when and where did I go, what will I cook for dinner and will ask me “what’s wrong ?” when he sees the troubled and unhappy expression in my eyes

I’m not looking for a super man. Just like me, he doesn’t have to be perfect, just MAN enough to understand the imperfect woman in me, the crazy silly person in me , love me for who I am and can meet me halfway He has to be someone I can share everything with and could bring out the best in me so I could accomplish my role as a woman Someone who can do a bit of fixing and carpentry jobs will be a bonus…and of course he’s got to be cuddly and a good kisser . Am I asking too much? I hate the thought that I could be living a single life for the rest of my life. . I would prefer to have a man beside me and grow old with him. Does that make me a weak woman?

Every night wide awake, many times wondering how my kids are doing...

Only 43 and I have a 4 year old granddaughter and a grandson due in a few weeks...

Where did the time go?

My oldest son, now 22, travels the world on business trips...used to be trips to the park riding bmx, seeing what crazy stunt he could do next.

My daughter...almost 21 and working two jobs as a single mom...remember her always cramming her studies, stressing that she might get lower than an A- ...smart honor roll student, she was.

Oh and my youngest...only 15, but in high school...seems like just yesterday, I was worried about him crossing the street by himself to go to his friend's house.

All the chaos when they were little, running around...all the worrying..crazy family trips...I do miss it now.

Day in, day out... So quiet, can hear a pin drop. Its been a couple of years now and I'm still cooking enough for a family of four...I have to divvy it up in Tupperware to use the leftovers throughout the week.

I've been a mother since I was 21, entering adulthood...been mom so long, now what's my purpose?

Seems a house was only a home when there was a family residing within. Now, its just an existence. I really need to find myself a hobby

Those with young children...or yet to have them....don't forget to enjoy every moment while they're young for it just slips away too fast before ya know it.