Most Liked Comedy Blogs (1,864)

More humour for us because we all need that right now...
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.'
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep" the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars" the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on Earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."

A wealthy man walked into a bar in Miami. As soon as he entered, he noticed an Afr*ican woman, sitting in one corner. He walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted, "Bartender! I'm buying drinks for everyone in this bar, except that woman over there!"
The bartender collected the money and began serving free drinks to everyone in the bar, except the Afr*ican woman. Instead of becoming upset, the woman simply looked up at the guy and shouted, "Thank you!"
This infuriated the wealthy guy. So once again, he took out his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! This time I am buying bottles of wine and additional food for everyone in this bar, except for that Af*rican sitting in the corner over there!"
The bartender collected the money from the man and began serving free food and wine to everyone in the bar except the African. When the waiter finished serving the food and drinks, the Afri*can woman simply smiled at the man and said, Thank you!"
That made him furious. So he leaned over the counter and asked the bartender, "What is wrong with that woman.. I have bought food and drinks for everyone in this bar except for her, and instead of becoming angry, she just sits there, smiles at me and shouts 'Thank you.' Is she mad"
The bartender smiled at the wealthy man and said, "No, she is not mad. She is the OWNER of this establishment."

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem”

The mother says, “It’s my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight, and she is sick most mornings.”

The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your Debbie is pregnant–about four months would be my guess.”

The mother says, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never been left alone with a man! Have you, Debbie”

Debbie says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!”

The doctor walked over to the window and stared outside. About five minutes passed before the mother said, “Is there something wrong out there, doctor”

The doctor replied, “No, not at it. It’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’m not going to miss it this time around!”

KENOSHA, WI—Black Lives Matter activists across the country are looking forward to some early Black Friday looting once Kyle Rittenhouse is acquitted.

Rittenhouse is on trial for shooting and killing a p*dophile and a kidnapper after they tried to kill Rittenhouse.

BLM has taken up the cause of being mad at Rittenhouse because he killed two horrible people during their riot last summer.

“You can’t just defend yourself like that at a Black Lives Matter riot,” local BLM Chairperson Jerome McStinky said. “Therefore, if that kid is acquitted, we is going to loot the s**t out of the m*******r.”

D’Skank Jones has been eyeing a new pair of Nikes ever since the trial started.

“Mmmm, I’ma get me some of those new Blazers girl! That boy better not get acquitted,” Jones said.

President Joe Biden has weighed in, saying that BLM should be able to loot on days besides Black Friday as a matter of principle.

US representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has demanded that they change the name of “Black Friday” to “Friday of Color”.

As a kid, I had friends who would trade things. For example, baseball cards, marbles, 45rpm records.

In the 70's, I was in a band with a guitarist who had a faulty guitar and it was affecting our ability to (as a band) to make money. We came off a tour of Canada and I went with him to a music store to buy a Fender Stratocaster. He tried all of the ones in the store before settling on a black one with a rosewood fingerboard. His mom helped him buy a house and the money made from music was barely enough to pay the mortgage. The plan was I'd buy the guitar and he would repay me with a portion of gig money. That didn't happen and I ended up with the guitar.

I'm left-handed and it was a right handed guitar. I know it didn't stop Jimi Hendrix from playing one upside down but another guitarist wanted it and offered to trade a reel-to-reel tape recorder so I accepted.

I'm more inclined to give things away and not trade for something.

I don't follow sports, but I hear in the news all the time about sports players being traded to other teams. Depending on the perspective, I guess it's a good and bad thing.

As part of my job, I do have to negotiate with clients, general contractors, associates and upper management. There is always a give and take to make things work.
Yesterday, I had a meeting with a client and contractor about my cabinets in the bathroom and how the designer wants the walls wrapped in tile. I didn't like the way it was planned. The contractor agreed. I gave-in to include full panels (instead of fillers) where my cabinetry meets the wall. It's more material but an easier installation for both my company and the tile installer. Win-Win.
I wanted a design change in another area of the house and they went along with my request. Fair trade.

So this month, long-time member Harb who is on permanent bad returns. Similar to a cat with 9 lives, but it doesn't take long for administration to find out and pull the plug on his alias... POOF !! he's gone... again.

I always thought he was entertaining with his sarcastic humor. Lots of banter, even if he did cross the line with some members. A ban is a ban with no hope of parole.
Honestly, he does much better for CS than lots of other members. Often, if there's a change to be made, people will sign a petition in hopes of creating a change. Workers to a boss, citizens to a government. Michael Cohen traded some information to get his sentence reduced. Different examples all parts attempting a trade.

Let's suggest a trade to management. I could think of a handful bitter/angry members who could be easily traded for the return of one Harb. Kinda like a prisoner trade to a foreign government.

I'll trade ya... what a great idea !!

We're past the full moon and the amount of eye scratching (virtual, of course) is at an all time high. Angry comments and name calling. Maybe some of you need to reduce stress as you're all uneasy about the little things in life.
Here's my suggestion: Remember bubble wrap? Remember the satisfaction of popping all the bubbles?
I present to you VIRTUAL BUBBLE WRAP!
So, pop to your hearts content...