Most Liked Comedy Blogs (1,864)

This weekend I went to a bar with a female friend to shoot some pool.
We overheard the following conversation from a guy sitting at the bar,
who used his cellphone to make a call.

"Hi. I just wanted to call and tell you, that I am thinking about you.
You have really brought joy to my life.
Without you, life would be so much worse. I know. I know.
But, I just wanted to say thank you and let you know that I appreciate all you do anyway."

The gal I was with turned to me and said, "Isn't that sweet !?"

I suppose it was somewhat...... even though he was calling the brewery.

Well well well !!!

Since I recall my memories , started to understand little by little about this mysterious "Civilised Human's" world , I was/am/will be always familiar with the terms "Left" and "Right" !!!

But that's not the point ...
The point of confusion here is ,
What is actually "Right" !?
AND
What is actually "Left" !?

I have witnessed so far , on Real world or on Virtual world , everywhere always people brings this two terms into everything and anything and actually they very much enjoy getting into arguments over this two !!

The common generalise idea about these two terms among most of us common people is ,
THAT
Those , Who usually like to Follow Something/Someone Blindly for ages without questioning about logical explanation ,
Those , Who are Afraid to Think Out Of The Box ,
Those , Who tend to be Comfortable to Go With The Flow ,
ARE the "Right"...

And
Those , Who like to be Open minded and Curious ,
Those , Who are Ready to Explore and Accept New Ideas ,
Those , Who are eager to Find Facts based upon Neutral Logical Explanations and Evidences ,
ARE the "Left"...

But now it seems that , what it seems may not be actually what it seems !!

I mean ,
Has anyone ever thought
THAT
What we were considering as "Right" , may be NOT that "RIGHT" after all !!??
And
What we were considering as "Left" , may NEVER been "LEFT" at all !!??


Should we need to refresh our thinking process and re-evaluate everything
THAT ,

There is NOTHING exists as "Right" or "Left" !!!
May be it's just some clever tricks playing by the control freaks , Who actually just want to take advantage of US , THE COMMON PEOPLE , for their own personal benefits , by dividing us between this "LeftRight" parade troops !!???

NOW I wonder , If I need to focus on using both my Right and Left hands equally efficient , just like my both feet usually do !!!

So !!!

ATTENTION !!!
PARADE !!
LET'S START AGAIN....

"LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT" !!!.....!!! "RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT" !!!.....!!!

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your trouser pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.' The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again. Wife replied.. 'Your horse ... phoned'

An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, my hearts dearest etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names.' The elderly lady hung her head, 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped out.....of. my mind about 10 years ago,he is a moron. and I'dont care. To..ask this cranky old Dum...Dum...what his name is

her marriage and sex life became monotonous and boring. So... she joined CS.
She seeks a man who knows what he wants, leaves nothing to chance and knows how to deal with women.
Age group: 18-99

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Johnny", if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" ?
Johnny...
said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' ??
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. ??
And you, Michael?
can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?
Michael....
said: 'I would say: honey..., may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' ????
The teacher fainted...????

If there is something like God and also if
God is the creator and then if I were that God.
The creation would be:
There is no other species other than the 'homo sapiens'. No childhood or aged fellas but the young, immortal, glamorous, beautiful chicks and handsome guys. Means, no birth or death. No hunger or sex, there is only love inducing o*gasm without penetration. There is no galaxy but the planet earth without boundaries or countries. There would be brightness like
the day but without a sun. The spotless moon in the center with the stars placed around multidimensionally configured in a particular fashion and pattern. The existence is limited to just that premise.
No science and, therefore, no scope of either the theories, natural selection, etc. or of evolution. Its static and not dynamic creation and so science is not required per se.
That's it. My creation is ready for use.
Actually I groomed to be that fantastic creator, inspired by a renowned biochemist named Himunastics, reading her blog on a site, "DC, i.e. the Defuunct Couples" where she narrated a story of one illusory guy called Murk and another scholarly guy called Junk.
The story goes like:
One day Murk forgot to carry his tiffin and so he imagined a platter in front of him with bread and sauce on it and started eating his own imagined food. Now the wise Junk was bewildered, watching this episode. He asked Murk what he was eating when there is no food. Murk told him about how he managed the food by his vivid imagination.
Junk, "you idiot, if you were to do it that way, then you could have done with all sorts of yummy yummy eatables around you on all sides taking a bit from any or all".
The end of the creation and the told story for that matter.
Hope you enjoyed my creation and the inspiring story.