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Saw this ballet in Amsterdam .

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

I'm told I will be in Continent as time goes by. Not looking forward to it much, I hear it is damp. I'd rather stay in Vincible but life occasionally has other plans. People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive they're wrong.














(borrowed from an incoming email)

A man walks into a pub, notices a very large jar on the counter,and sees that it's 'stuffed solid' with £10 notes. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand pounds in it.He approaches the barman and asks, "Why is money in that jar???"....
"Well..., you pay £10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Porche."
"You’re joking", says the man, not wanting to miss the opportunity !!!!!!, so he asks, "What are the three tests ???"
"You must pay first," says the barman, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the barman a £10 note which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the barman, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole bottle of whisky, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't pull a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back garden with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to show her what she’s been missing and give her one too !!!!!."
The man is stunned !!!! "I know I paid my £10 -- but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it !!!!. You'd have to be mad to drink a whole bottle of whisky, then do those two other bizarre things, I won't do it !!!!!!".
"Your call," says the barman, "but, your money stays where it is, that was the deal !!!!!!!."
As time passes, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "OK, Where's the bloody whisky?? !!!!!!!!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't pull a face -- and he drinks it in just 58 seconds !!!!!!.
He stands up slowly, staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight, –then suddenly silence, not a sound comes from the back.
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he appears in the door, he staggers back into the bar.
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body !!!!!.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"

I now have 50 girlfriends and my p*nis is 235 feet long.

It appears that the men on the island that i live have certain category's
It goes as follows.

They are married
.so they only want sex.
They are engaged so they only want sex
They have girlfriends but want more sex.
If they are single which is very rare. They will be mummies boys and trust me do not cross mother she will shoot you.
And her demand will be son you must find a virgin coz if she has slept with other men be sure she will have a sex disease.......... Yep they are out there.
You then have ( and this is mainly the English) If you sleep with them on a first date you are a whore if you dont you are a lesbian. NICE....
And lastly you have the boys who dive straight in with you are to old for a relationship so can i just f*ck you

Oh the joys of being single...............
Think i gotta find me another Island.........

I've seen so many serious blogs lately (mine included) and decided it's time for a bit of fun.

I'm a big fan of parodies, in particular music parodies. It's not easy to put together humor and still make the lyrics make sense (well sometimes they doesn't ).

I'm sharing some of my favorites. I hope you like.

Feel free to add yours.




As a warm-up: Foil by "Weird All" Yankovic (Parody of "Royals" by Lorde)

Have you ever woken up in the morning,
just felt lucky that you are alive,
looked at the beautiful gal sleeping next to you,
and then leaned over and gave her a great big kiss ?

Well, I did this morning.

And now apparently,
I will not be allowed
on that airline again.

I taught my daughter many of the same. Mums, eh?

Anatomy - Don't come running to me when you break both legs

Religion - you'd better pray that comes out the carpet

Logic - because I said so, that's why

Irony - keep crying and I will give you something to cry about

Precision - I could beat you to within an inch of your life

Wisdom - you'll understand when you get to my age

Justice - if there is any in the world your kids will turn out just like you

Here is the story of Rhabarberbarbara


German language is funny