Most Liked Comedy Blogs (1,864)

My partner told me to grow a pear, well, I did but she still was not happy, Why?

The comedian, actor and former Tonight Show host turns 71 today.

Living under lock down for weeks now
There was no frie works on new years eve ,only a bell ringing on the other side of this small town..
And to make matters worse The Remarkable wet himslef <sad>

Still every thing was not lost I went back to the Monkey Mountain and listend to
The Damntion Of Fasust.

Hello fellow bloggers especially you ladies.
Oh I do miss a partner I have to do my washing,cleaning,shopping clean my car make my bed.
Where are girls I miss you.Come and change my life so that I can have more time to go down the pub ,play golf,etc.
Love and peece
All in the worst possible taste
Oh I can supply gardening gloves for weeding ,grass cutting.
Apron for cooking.

Flyme2.

...not common, but it happens, with the talented and grounded, VERY much such of God's good earth. Celebrating my legal successes over a decent but uninformed, stubborn younger sibling, in my two year task. Gag me! Having been honored to be named by parents as will executor and primary Estate trustee. The smaller the pile of cash, the more some will fight over it. Human nature.
So, invited my good neighbor, best pal, and mother of our beautiful and talented twins, to dinner to celebrate the event, as she is in the same shoes regarding her parents' worldly belongings. And there's a not so nice younger sister in the picture, as well. And over salmon and wine, I went over my copious notes and documents from our trial/travails, to guide her in the daunting efforts soon to befall her..
But let's face it. how once smitten, can any of either sex not retain some feelings for a creature like me? I mean, just read that profile. Just admire those pics. That smile. The chin and crop of hair. And the tall stature, and whole irresistible package, truth be said.
The dilemma? Keeping a friendship, with out too much more.
Oddly, how different from our usual Quests in the folly that is Love!?!?
Awesome Vierk, food for thought.

Ordering a Pizza in 2022

CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?

GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.

GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.

CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:
Super! That’s what I’ll have.

GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!

GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:
How the hell do you know that?

GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another Pharmacy.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:
I paid in cash.

GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!

CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!

GOOGLE:
I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already! Just like Dan_777 I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to the island that rizlared sez is a paradise, without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...

Welcome to the future ??

At this present moment most Caucasian folk feel quite safe in South Africa.

On the one hand we have a radical political party (Economic Freedom Fighters, EFF} that has a policy of chasing all the whites into the sea when they come into power..

On the other hand we have the liberal ruling party called the ANC that has put a ban on everyone using the beaches,,,,

What more can we all ask for in these troubled times?


Presently we (the minority) have no worries in the world...



All in good humour...

before asking someone to help with a Photoshop....
More at:


You know, the French have an unfair stereotype of being cowardly. Any person that can live in a nation where this monstrosity is their biggest monument is braver than you or we.



You’ve heard of people with shaggy hair being called “mop top,” but have you ever seen a broom head before?
With such relentless trolling, you’d think that Fridman might be kind of mean. It turns out, just the opposite is true.

Smile 2020 is nearly done and dusted....

FOXITIS This is the new bug, that has been around for some time.

Just to think of Foxitis makes me laugh..