Most Liked Comedy Blogs (1,864)

I lost my phone just yesterday, I'm traumatised and lost,
I can't speak in conversation, I just don't know what to do,
I don't know whatsapp with my friends, my parents want
to talk to me, again, that's twice this month, I can't tweet,
I can't face talk, (even though they are here beside me)
They are there and I can't even look,,,, I need Facebook,
They even asked me to add two and two, as if I didn't
know, oh,, I need my phone,, where is my goddamm
phone, sorry, it's not like I REALLY need my phone to
be normal, .......... I just want the ten million pictures
I took, I'm sure there is one of me pouting that looks
really good, this is all going to end in disaster if I
DON'T GET MY PHONE!

Did you know a picture is worth a thousand words? If I had know that then, I'd have taken a
picture of my ex!

Calling long distance , hi, your me, please don’t ride that bike today,
Don’t ever eat McDonalds, don’t tell dad you found his porno, don’t fall
In line too easily, don’t be what you don’t want to be, admit when your
Wrong, be strong, don’t climb on a roof, don’t hit a bullet with a hammer,
Don’t do magic swallowing a coin, don’t set fire to mothers curtains, if you
See a girl who looks nice, run!, and definitely don’t marry her, and if you are
Ever offered a green or a red pill,,,,,,,shoot the f**ker!

I think a lot faster thant I type and I find I'm sending to omuch time fizing typos. If I didn't correct my typos I'm sure people wouldn;t be able to comprehend what I was saying.
So this id my odfficial yopo blog with out corrections.
I remember my brother had a n old twpewriter. somethig my father picked up used. and h would trype reports for school. I know I payed iwth it z fee times asd it was a monster with vlack and red ribbon. very cool!
my first conpurer was purchased in 1975, it was a Commodoere PET. We (me anf my firends) subscrived to a monthly 'magazine' they was compiuter programs on cassette. It was much better than typing the priograms by hand. Often, I'll tell people I'm eht Forrest Gump wan it comet to typing. Well, I don't have the accent but my speed is really c l o w.

So, there you have it the al-matural verson blog without any corrections at all!

Had a kiddies meal today at McDonald's. The meal was quite nice as well as the atmosphere in the restaurant, well that was until the kiddies mother had an anger attack and gave me a whopper on my eye....

Timed myself today.
Takes a 5 minute walk from my home to the bar.
Takes 35 minutes from the bar to my home.
The difference is staggering.

Image address:



Kentucky Derby winner Rich Strike jockey Sonny Leon just turned down a White House invite saying "If I wanted to see a horses a** I would have come in second".

There is a definite art to writing a popular blog. Seek your audience. Politics and religion can only carry you so far. Find a topic that hits home and brings something to your blog that everyone can comment on. Menopause for example. Both men and woman are affected by this medical phenomenon/phenomena. Leave out opinion and state hard medical facts. You know, something that cannot be disputed. Then wait and see how quickly your blog grows...


How to write a catchy & popular blog.

Bud: ‘You can’t come in here!’
Lou: ‘Why not?’
Bud: ‘Well because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But I’m not sick.’
Bud: ‘It doesn’t matter.’
Lou: ‘Well, why does that guy get to go in?’
Bud: ‘Because he’s vaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But he’s sick!’
Bud: ‘It’s alright. Everyone in here is vaccinated.’
Lou: ‘Wait a minute. Are you saying everyone in there is vaccinated?’
Bud: ‘Yes.’
Lou: ‘So then why can’t I go in there if everyone is vaccinated?’
Bud: ‘Because you’ll make them sick.’
Lou: ‘How will I make them sick if I’m NOT sick and they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘But they can still get sick.’
Lou: ‘So what the heck does the vaccine do?’
Bud: ‘It vaccinates.’
Lou: ‘So vaccinated people can’t spread covid?’
Bud: ‘Oh no. They can spread covid just as easily as an unvaccinated person.’
Lou: ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Look. I’m not sick.
Bud: ‘Ok.’
Lou: ‘And the guy you let in IS sick.’
Bud: ‘That’s right.’
Lou: ‘And everybody in there can still get sick even though they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Certainly.’
Lou: ‘So why can’t I go in again?’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘I’m not asking who’s vaccinated or not!’
Bud: ‘I’m just telling you how it is.’
Lou: ‘Nevermind. I’ll just put on my mask.’
Bud: ‘That’s fine.’
Lou: ‘Now I can go in?’
Bud: ‘Absolutely not?’
Lou: ‘But I have a mask!’
Bud: ‘Doesn’t matter.’
Lou: ‘I was able to come in here yesterday with a mask.’
Bud: ‘I know.’
Lou: So why can’t I come in here today with a mask? ….If you say ‘because I’m unvaccinated’ again, I’ll break your arm.’
Bud: ‘Take it easy buddy.’
Lou: ‘So the mask is no good anymore.’
Bud: ‘No, it’s still good.’
Lou: ‘But I can’t come in?’
Bud: ‘Correct.’
Lou: ‘Why not?’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But the mask prevents the germs from getting out.’
Bud: ‘Yes, but people can still catch your germs.’
Lou: ‘But they’re all vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Yes, but they can still get sick.’
Lou: ‘But I’m not sick!!’
Bud: ‘You can still get them sick.’
Lou: ‘So then masks don’t work!’
Bud: ‘Masks work quite well.’
Lou: ‘So how in the heck can I get vaccinated people sick if I’m not sick and masks work?’
Bud: ‘Third base.