Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Viewed, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Trump gives advice to government workers not receiving paychecks.
And as a bonus, hot off The New Yorker today;
In response to:
Forever
By Andy Borowitz
10:57 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold initiative aimed at ending the shutdown, congressional Democrats on Thursday agreed to fund a border wall and reopen the government if Donald Trump leaves the country forever.
Calling the deal “a huge win for America,” the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, said that Trump would get the wall he wanted plus the opportunity to do something “incredibly patriotic” for his country.
Pelosi brushed aside criticism of the offer’s 5.7-billion-dollar price tag, telling reporters, “When you consider what we are getting in return, nine trillion dollars would be a bargain.”
But, even as Pelosi touted the offer, some details remained unresolved, such as finding a country willing to accept Trump.
Although Russia has a practice of providing country houses to former leaders such as Nikita Khrushchev and Boris Yeltsin, it is unclear whether Trump’s two years of service to the Kremlin qualify him for such accommodations.
The White House offered no official response to the Democrats’ offer, but Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani gave it a full-throated endorsement during an appearance on CNN.
“He should absolutely take this deal,” Giuliani said. “I mean, if he stays in the country, he’s probably going to prison.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Forever
By Andy Borowitz
10:57 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold initiative aimed at ending the shutdown, congressional Democrats on Thursday agreed to fund a border wall and reopen the government if Donald Trump leaves the country forever.
Calling the deal “a huge win for America,” the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, said that Trump would get the wall he wanted plus the opportunity to do something “incredibly patriotic” for his country.
Pelosi brushed aside criticism of the offer’s 5.7-billion-dollar price tag, telling reporters, “When you consider what we are getting in return, nine trillion dollars would be a bargain.”
But, even as Pelosi touted the offer, some details remained unresolved, such as finding a country willing to accept Trump.
Although Russia has a practice of providing country houses to former leaders such as Nikita Khrushchev and Boris Yeltsin, it is unclear whether Trump’s two years of service to the Kremlin qualify him for such accommodations.
The White House offered no official response to the Democrats’ offer, but Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani gave it a full-throated endorsement during an appearance on CNN.
“He should absolutely take this deal,” Giuliani said. “I mean, if he stays in the country, he’s probably going to prison.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
This satire does give me an idea. Perhaps we should start a GoFundMe page to take donations
to have Trump resign the presidency. I mean, it will probably happen anyway, after the impeachment
happens. But, perhaps we can get Trump's resignation much sooner, if Trump can see that money waiting for him to resign.
Indeed, perhaps that guy who started the GoFundMe page to build the wall went about it the wrong way. Instead, he should have just asked for $1 from everyone who thinks Trump is an idiot.
That wall could have been paid for by now.
New North Korean Victory Song
North Korean KPA Last Victory Song when they beat USA 2013 LOL
They already beat everybody with the victory song
Kim Jong Un for World Leader
They already beat everybody with the victory song
Kim Jong Un for World Leader
Feminism has wrecked homes, families...and now the planet.
The very nature of feminism...being independent and s*xual revolution is now wrecking the planet.
How so?
Now the same family that live in one house years ago, now need 2. (double the resources being used)
The same with vehicles need.
The same with electricity being used.
Houses need to be heated.
All those extra fossil fuels being used....all that extra pollution.
But of course, we know it is all the man's fault...right feminists?
...all that abuse.
Better yet, what about if we refuse to believe it...it just want be a reality then.
Keep up the good work.
Of course, this is just meant to be some comedy...hope we all get a good laugh from it.
How so?
Now the same family that live in one house years ago, now need 2. (double the resources being used)
The same with vehicles need.
The same with electricity being used.
Houses need to be heated.
All those extra fossil fuels being used....all that extra pollution.
But of course, we know it is all the man's fault...right feminists?
...all that abuse.
Better yet, what about if we refuse to believe it...it just want be a reality then.
Keep up the good work.
Of course, this is just meant to be some comedy...hope we all get a good laugh from it.
It's The Thought That Counts...NOT Always!
I'm NOT complaining...I just want to whine a little bit
We've just had a little Christmas party at work...then we had that "Secret Santa" thing. The rule was you pick a name and buy him/her a gift not less than 15JDs, that's about $21. Well, I was excited about it and put a lot of thoughts on my present. I picked the name of my vegetarian colleague and bought him a wooden sculptor of an Eagle worth 25JDs and I can tell from his reaction that he's very happy with what he got and rightly guessed that it was from me
I had hard time unwrapping the present that had my name, it was tightly wrapped with lots of sticky tapes and bows... really excited about it but got a little disappointed when it was finally revealed : A Coffe Mug worth 2 JDs
I had hard time guessing who's the meanie who gave it to me... OK, my first reaction was disappointment, it probably showed on my face but hey, the mug says: SUPERMOM
I gave her a hug and a nice "thank you" for that cheap but lovely mug...
One of the guy was obviously disappointed...he got 3 gift voucher from Mothercare worth exactly 5jds each. Why would one give a man, a young single man gift vouchers from Mothercare ? A shop full of children's clothing
Well, they say it's the thought that counts but sometimes we can't help feeling disappointed when we feel that they didn't put a lot of thought when giving you a present
Have a great day/night everyone
We've just had a little Christmas party at work...then we had that "Secret Santa" thing. The rule was you pick a name and buy him/her a gift not less than 15JDs, that's about $21. Well, I was excited about it and put a lot of thoughts on my present. I picked the name of my vegetarian colleague and bought him a wooden sculptor of an Eagle worth 25JDs and I can tell from his reaction that he's very happy with what he got and rightly guessed that it was from me
I had hard time unwrapping the present that had my name, it was tightly wrapped with lots of sticky tapes and bows... really excited about it but got a little disappointed when it was finally revealed : A Coffe Mug worth 2 JDs
I had hard time guessing who's the meanie who gave it to me... OK, my first reaction was disappointment, it probably showed on my face but hey, the mug says: SUPERMOM I gave her a hug and a nice "thank you" for that cheap but lovely mug... One of the guy was obviously disappointed...he got 3 gift voucher from Mothercare worth exactly 5jds each. Why would one give a man, a young single man gift vouchers from Mothercare ? A shop full of children's clothing
Well, they say it's the thought that counts but sometimes we can't help feeling disappointed when we feel that they didn't put a lot of thought when giving you a present
Have a great day/night everyone
Oldest Virus In History Still Going Strong...Who's Next??
A virus that causes those infected "to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning imaginable that pops up in the alleged minds of the spreaders and their facilitators". The usual symptoms of infections include the willingness to believe improbable stories without ever thinking; the urge and obsession to forward multiple copies of these stories to others including all types of authorities, and a total lack of any desire to take even 2 minutes to either check that such stories are true or to listen to themselves.
A warning about this virus issued sometime ago by the supposed "Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena, has been widely disseminated on line and by various news stations at some points in times past. If internet users suspect they've been infected, the messages advise, they should "rush to their favourite search engines and look up the item(s) and simply look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. In most homes, legends, alleged news stories and, of course, rumours and "tall tales" are and have been widely discussed, laughed at and exposed by the many internet users that still retain at least, a facsimile of coherent minds, some examples: If someone comes to your door saying they are conducting a survey and asks you to take your clothes off, do not do it! This is a scam; they only want to see you naked. Many wish they'd gotten this warning yesterday. You will feel cheap and dirty now...
A new computer virus is spreading throughout the entire internet! It is far more insidious than the virus last week's called the "I've been Abducted by Tiny Aliens", named after a classic guide to family style Jokes, it returns email messages that have over the top adult jokes totally inappropriate to most families scared of God and have numerous grammatical errors... another is White People Are being Shrunk by Coloured Aliens from Inner Space! Emergency emails arriving soon....Please forward this message to everyone on your e-mail list NOW!
A warning about this virus issued sometime ago by the supposed "Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena, has been widely disseminated on line and by various news stations at some points in times past. If internet users suspect they've been infected, the messages advise, they should "rush to their favourite search engines and look up the item(s) and simply look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. In most homes, legends, alleged news stories and, of course, rumours and "tall tales" are and have been widely discussed, laughed at and exposed by the many internet users that still retain at least, a facsimile of coherent minds, some examples: If someone comes to your door saying they are conducting a survey and asks you to take your clothes off, do not do it! This is a scam; they only want to see you naked. Many wish they'd gotten this warning yesterday. You will feel cheap and dirty now...
A new computer virus is spreading throughout the entire internet! It is far more insidious than the virus last week's called the "I've been Abducted by Tiny Aliens", named after a classic guide to family style Jokes, it returns email messages that have over the top adult jokes totally inappropriate to most families scared of God and have numerous grammatical errors... another is White People Are being Shrunk by Coloured Aliens from Inner Space! Emergency emails arriving soon....Please forward this message to everyone on your e-mail list NOW!
online today!
lol
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker.
She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.”
She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, “How much?” She says, “A hundred dollars.”
He says, “All I got is thirty”. She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to Harry and asks, “What can he get for thirty?”
“A hand job”, Harry reply.
She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE ……
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, “I’ll be right back.” She runs back to Harry, and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”
She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.”
She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, “How much?” She says, “A hundred dollars.”
He says, “All I got is thirty”. She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to Harry and asks, “What can he get for thirty?”
“A hand job”, Harry reply.
She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE ……
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, “I’ll be right back.” She runs back to Harry, and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”
I Pledge Alliance To The Blogs Of Con. Singles
and to the republic for which it stands...and to uphold all of its blogging rules and regulations...so help me God.
Have you ever tried to leave this strange, weird, wonderful Blogland? For how long?
I did, many times but I can't seem to stay away for so long. I told myself yesterday that I will make a complete break from here so I can do some spring cleaning and find a new hobby and spend more time with real friends
After a long call from our Angel here and reading a blog from dear Johnny, how am I supposed to turn my back from all these sweet caring friends here? I might never meet them or any of you but you all have became a part of my life. Your blogs have put big smile on my face and brighten many of my boring days and because of that, as long as I'm breathing and have good internet connection, I will keep on blogging and continue to make others smile with my crazy, naughty, stupidly funny blogs.
Thank you CS for creating this wonderful Blogland for us lonely, bored, strange, wonderful and lovable singles all over the world.
As per Zman's request, let's raise the CS Bloggers' Flag onCe again
Standing for TRUTH, REALITY and FREEDOM OF SPEECH
Have you ever tried to leave this strange, weird, wonderful Blogland? For how long?
I did, many times but I can't seem to stay away for so long. I told myself yesterday that I will make a complete break from here so I can do some spring cleaning and find a new hobby and spend more time with real friends
After a long call from our Angel here and reading a blog from dear Johnny, how am I supposed to turn my back from all these sweet caring friends here? I might never meet them or any of you but you all have became a part of my life. Your blogs have put big smile on my face and brighten many of my boring days and because of that, as long as I'm breathing and have good internet connection, I will keep on blogging and continue to make others smile with my crazy, naughty, stupidly funny blogs.
Thank you CS for creating this wonderful Blogland for us lonely, bored, strange, wonderful and lovable singles all over the world.
As per Zman's request, let's raise the CS Bloggers' Flag onCe again
Standing for TRUTH, REALITY and FREEDOM OF SPEECH
OH YEAH OH YEAH OHHHH NOOOOO
I am starting a detective agency 
I am looking for the men who whistled at me when a young girl its illegal now i want them in court.
I am looking for the young men who wanted and tried to kiss me in my teens
s*xual abuse.
I am looking for the old gagies who used to have their willies out when we past them after school. Oh my they are all past away now. No court for them then.
My list goes on back 30years i think when life was so different than now Men cannot even look at me now 
in case i have them in court.
I will let you know when the big court case goes ahead ONLY THOSE WITH MONEY THOUGH I need my legal costs paid for plus a lump sum
I am looking for the men who whistled at me when a young girl
its illegal now i want them in court.I am looking for the young men who wanted and tried to kiss me in my teens
s*xual abuse. I am looking for the old gagies who used to have their willies out when we past them after school.
Oh my they are all past away now. No court for them then.My list goes on back 30years i think
when life was so different than now Men cannot even look at me now in case i have them in court. I will let you know when the big court case goes ahead ONLY THOSE WITH MONEY THOUGH I need my legal costs paid for plus a lump sum
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »