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Last Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Viewed, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.

Daphne77

You Can't Make This Sh*t Up

Many people sell things due to their name or brand...and now introducing a Trump- Lee Greenwood Bible called "God Bless America Bible" and apparently Trump has many bibles...innocent


laugh
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tMickeyMann

Strange Stuff tMic Says

laugh I say some pretty strange things sometimes. laugh

Join me for a romp in the playground of my mind. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Some of it is just off the wall banter, some are rants I have had online and some are some weird dreams I relate.

It should give you a glimpse of how I think and feel about things. Call me crazy, call me insightful or call me just plain dumb but it all comes from me.

Sometimes I am completely grounded, then, other times I go way out.

I'm not Groovy - I'm Far Out

Why must people always try to be happy? Contentment is the best state of being. Happiness, Sadness, Anger and Joy are not meant to be constants.

Intelligence is the ability to reason. Wisdom is the application of experience. Smart is wisdom without experience.

Associations with other people builds wisdom through experience. Choosing the correct associations to increase your wisdom is smart. Knowing this is intelligence.


I lie awake at night trying to figure out how Relative Displacement Drive Braking would work and what it would look like to the pilot.
That then keeps me thinking of how to create Phase Diversion Shielding so my space craft doesn't smash into anything at high speed.
Then I am forced to contemplate the logistics for transporting 150,000 people and 1.5 million supporting lifeforms on a seeding expedition
Which begs the need for a Super AI controlled nano-assembler matrix


Okay, I've given this careful consideration....What does a nose smell like?

It is not my responsibility to rectify anyone's ignorance, It's my choice

Mmm, Dorito Sammich

So, I have to wait an extra day for my birthday again this year! I'm getting sick of this crap. Seems like about every four years they make me wait an extra day and I ain't gunna do it anymore, so there!

I just read on my toaster oven that I should be wary of food flare-ups?

Triplixiuum-111 "Liquid Dipshitary" Trump drinks it in his morning coffee

Nunyajail-223 "Jail Avoidance Cake" Hillary eats it with her noon tea.

Sheeple-16 "oblivious wandering ray" Voters exposed daily via media surges


It is possible to live under your means even when your means is minuscule. Always pay your bills on time to avoid late charges. Budget your food as well as your money and say "NO" to impulse spending.
Treat your savings account like a bill and ton't touch it till you have at least 2 months bills coverage accumulated.


Its a fusion between Country and Rap. It's called CRAP!

Currently accepting applications for Hostess

Lately been outovit more than init

Watchin Movies & Smokin Pretzels - Life is good~

Six sickos sent seven saucers sailing

Checked Craigslist for a GF, Nothing in my price range that is not an old beater

Dreamed I was in a farm machinery warehouse and it was all covered in bacon

Health is low - Looking for a big red pulsating heart icon...

Ah, Yes! A York Peppermint Pattie!

When I die the flying monkeys will be released

Hurricane Season starts tomorrow, what's the bag limit?

Finally! Glorious FullForce Thunderstorms! ~~Lovin It~~

You know you're old when even your dreams are repeats

I feel like Ben Grimm this morning!
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teenameenaonline today!

Oops! He ain't going to that bar!!

So a couple had been married for only two weeks when the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go into town, tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies.
And so he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."
"Where are you going coochy cooh..." asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." He said.
The wife said to him, "you want a beer my love..See."
Then she opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer- brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
Not knowing what to do, the husband thought of something different and said to the wife, "Yes, loolie loolie... but the bar.... you know... the frozen glass..."
He didn't even get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupted him saying, "You want a frozen glass puppy face"
She took out a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills just by holding it.
The husband was frustrated but luckily he thought of a winner excuse, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK"
"You want hors d'oeuvres poochy pooh"
Again, she opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..."
The wife smiled and said, "you want some dirty words cutie pie..here, SIT THE F*%K DOWN - DRINK YOUR F%KIN' BEER IN YOUR FROZEN F*%KIN' MUG - EAT YOUR F*%KIN' SNACKS! YOU AREN'T GOING TO THE F*%KIN' BAR !!! GOT IT,
A**HOLE !".
(Sit your butt down cause she the boss now.)
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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JimNastics

Announcing the new CS emoji

No if ands or butts about it.
Sorry to drop this on you.
Butt, just don't overuse it and make an asz out of yourself. scold

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Abby1963

Fact or fiction

Is it true what they say about a man with big feet and big hands ? That he's big in his pants ? meaning a large p*nis ? I found it to be fictiondunno ::grin:
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OIdblue

hunting the gowk

Hope no one pranks you too badly

grin banana grin
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chatilliononline today!

Mommy, I have to make number two...

I used to think it was universal that parents taught their young children number one was pee and number two was poo, but some kids just point to the front or back!


laugh
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Track16online today!

Puddles

Three ducks appeared in court one day for causing a disturbance at the park. As the ducks approached the stand, the judge called the first duck up and ask his name and what he was doing that day. The duck replied "my name is Huey and I was in and out of puddles all day."

"Very good" said the judge as he told the duck to step down and called up the 2nd duck and asked him his name and what he was doing that day. "My name is Louie and I spent all day in and out of puddles."

The judge excused the 2nd duck and called on the third duck. The judge said "let me guess, your name is Dewy, and you spent all day in and out of puddles right?"

"NO" growled the 3rd duck, "My name is Puddles and don't ask me about that day."
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JimNastics

Fauci's 'suggestion' to go enjoy golf for some

Today in The New Yorker;



Here we see Trump inching somewhat closer to the "green".......grass.
For some golfers, golfing is more 'rough' than others. grin


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Stay safe everyone. head banger
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Huitzilopochtli

The day when an imbecile, was invited by a berk

What was he thinking the president of Mexico, Enrique Peña Nieto, when Donald Trump invited to Los Pinos? I was thinking, of course, that he could win. But he calculated very badly. This will be one of the lowest points of his presidency. And that's saying something after Ayotzinapa, Nochixtlán, the White House, the apartment in Miami and more than 57,000 dead.

Trump left Mexico without an apology and without change, in the least, your immigration plan. It was embarrassing to see Peña Nieto silent and motionless in his own home while Trump took control of the press conference and chose to journalists who asked him questions in English. Trump said yes had spoken on the wall but not on who was going to pay. And Peña Nieto, who knew that was not true, was silent. That was the day that Peña Nieto shrank in a dwarfed and insignificant, parody of a president.

When Trump ended his show gave the floor to Peña Nieto. There, and without a text that read, he insisted that his responsibility was to "defend the people of Mexico." But ironically, he did not. Two hours after the meeting, Peña Nieto took out a tweet saying that at the beginning of the meeting made it clear to Trump that Mexico would not pay for her wall. So why he did not dare to refute Trump in public during the press conference?

That's not diplomacy. That is lack of character and leadership. No, Peña Nieto does not represent millions of Mexicans who are very different from him.

Peña Nieto has put us Mexicans to play psychologist. Why Trump invited? Why he froze before him? Why softened insults Trump saying they were "misinterpretations"? What scared the bully Trump?

It was a meeting between two of the people most hated Mexicans in Mexico and the United States. Peña Nieto has the highest disapproval -74% - of a Mexican president since 1995, when reform began to measure it. As for Trump, 73 percent of Latinos in the United States considers a racist, according to a survey of Univision. A kind.

Why unpopular meet? Because, deep down, want that people want and are willing to take high risks. Peña Nieto not just leave allegations of corruption, plagiarism and incompetence and needed a strong change of direction. Present himself as the defender of Mexicans against the ogre Trump I would have given many points. And Trump is in the midst of a controversial campaign and losing in the polls.

That explains the meeting. But it went so badly that same night in Phoenix, Arizona, Trump insisted that it would build a wall of 1.900-mile border and that Mexicans would pay if they did not know. So far the success of Mexican diplomacy.

In the end, Trump got away with it and Peña Nieto was the loser.

Trump advantage of the situation to the fullest. It was the first time we met, as a candidate, with a President and showed that these high-level meetings can be arranged within hours, not months. In addition, internationally he exercised his now famous stubbornness. He used to Peña Nieto, as eye titrated with the Reformation, and left without a wound.

The real wall Trump is in his head. He wants to isolate America from the world and preserve its Anglo-Saxon tradition. So the wall and its fight against Latin American immigrants, so their rejection of free trade agreements and their disdain for planetary organizations.

But Trump's bid is very risky. He believes he can win only with the vote of white Americans and I think he is wrong. not enough white votes in the United States to win the White House. No African Americans, Latinos and Asians the party is over. In two months we will see if he had the right.

Peña Nieto, meanwhile, missed a unique opportunity to change the narrative of his failed presidency. Patriotism, both in politics and in football should be used very rarely. But in this case Peña Nieto had every right-and the support of millions of Mexicans to show their indignation and anger at Trump.

It did not. He lacked everything. frustrated
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