Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Viewed, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
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Oh dear we're having a blog tantrum 
Now folks, blog every available bullshit that comes to your mind as it is just a fecking boring Sunday
Now folks, blog every available bullshit that comes to your mind as it is just a fecking boring Sunday
No more need to be fussy ladies...
..the answer is here.
1. Are you sitting at home waiting of that perfect man to arrive ?
2. Is life getting you down because the choice of men are lean in the trouser snake dept ?
3. Is your current man large but shit in bed and grumpy.
The answer is here, no more waiting for the perfect man with the perfect chopper.
With the new cream that lovely guy with the small d*ck need not be at the bottom of the list, but your perfect match.
**No va*ina were harmed during the research and development of this cream**
1. Are you sitting at home waiting of that perfect man to arrive ?
2. Is life getting you down because the choice of men are lean in the trouser snake dept ?
3. Is your current man large but shit in bed and grumpy.
The answer is here, no more waiting for the perfect man with the perfect chopper.
With the new cream that lovely guy with the small d*ck need not be at the bottom of the list, but your perfect match.
**No va*ina were harmed during the research and development of this cream**
Incoherent thoughts...
It's that time of the month again!
I'm feeling miserable, have a headache and just don't feel like doing anything . Even a pint of coffee and some cinnamon rolls don't help at all
Where the heck are you?! The time I need a lashing post I've got no one around ffs! this is the time I really really miss my Bigbutt
When I get crazy like this, many things just randomly come in my mind...like the things that I like in men: hairy, nice bums, fun and jerk-"ish". does "size" really matters? They said it's not the size of your wand but it's the magic that you create when you wave it...
I'm petite, size small, size 1 and sometimes not happy about it... specially when I go to buy some shoes, I always have trouble finding my size. How small is small and how big is big?
What size are you?
I'm feeling miserable, have a headache and just don't feel like doing anything . Even a pint of coffee and some cinnamon rolls don't help at all
Where the heck are you?! The time I need a lashing post I've got no one around ffs!
this is the time I really really miss my Bigbutt When I get crazy like this, many things just randomly come in my mind...like the things that I like in men: hairy, nice bums, fun and jerk-"ish". does "size" really matters? They said it's not the size of your wand but it's the magic that you create when you wave it...
I'm petite, size small, size 1 and sometimes not happy about it...
specially when I go to buy some shoes, I always have trouble finding my size. How small is small and how big is big?What size are you?
Reminded of another....Chap.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
El Chapo Says He Is Victim of Phony Witch Hunt
By Andy Borowitz
10:33 A.M.
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In his first interview since being found guilty on all counts in his U.S. trial, the Mexican drug lord Joaquín (El Chapo) Guzmán called himself the victim of a “phony witch hunt.”
The former cartel leader made his blistering comments in a phone call to the television program “Fox & Friends,” whose hosts appeared surprised that he had somehow gained access to a phone and was able to get through to them.
“It was a phony witch hunt,” El Chapo said, of his trial. “It was a phony, rigged witch hunt, and the charges against me were fake news and a disgrace.”
Questioned whether he had worked in concert with other drug lords to bring narcotics into the United States, El Chapo said, “There was no collusion. And there was no evidence of collusion, because there was no collusion.”
But the former drug kingpin reserved his harshest words for the F.B.I. and its former director James Comey.
“Lying and leaking Jim Comey is a showboat and a disaster,” he said.
Asked to give his impression of the American justice system, El Chapo said, “I think it’s very bad when someone like me, who is running a business and creating jobs and helping the economy, is harassed and treated unfairly. I think it’s a disgrace and, frankly, very sad.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
El Chapo Says He Is Victim of Phony Witch Hunt
By Andy Borowitz
10:33 A.M.
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In his first interview since being found guilty on all counts in his U.S. trial, the Mexican drug lord Joaquín (El Chapo) Guzmán called himself the victim of a “phony witch hunt.”
The former cartel leader made his blistering comments in a phone call to the television program “Fox & Friends,” whose hosts appeared surprised that he had somehow gained access to a phone and was able to get through to them.
“It was a phony witch hunt,” El Chapo said, of his trial. “It was a phony, rigged witch hunt, and the charges against me were fake news and a disgrace.”
Questioned whether he had worked in concert with other drug lords to bring narcotics into the United States, El Chapo said, “There was no collusion. And there was no evidence of collusion, because there was no collusion.”
But the former drug kingpin reserved his harshest words for the F.B.I. and its former director James Comey.
“Lying and leaking Jim Comey is a showboat and a disaster,” he said.
Asked to give his impression of the American justice system, El Chapo said, “I think it’s very bad when someone like me, who is running a business and creating jobs and helping the economy, is harassed and treated unfairly. I think it’s a disgrace and, frankly, very sad.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
Those criminals are always trying to find excuses and blame the legal system,
rather than own up to the crimes they have committed.
Surgery Today.
This surgery is a matter of time...literary. I have went through this once before in my life and as expected with any surgery, I did not enjoy it. It will be very messy and very painful. I have to cut it open right in the center and dig my hands through its guts. Luckily...I think anyway if my memory serves me right, I have some rubber gloves for the duty. I hope so anyway.
I broke my watch band pin and there was a small metal piece that also came lose on the band. After taking 3 attempts to order the right size pin, I am finally ready to reassemble. However, the small piece that came lose is missing.
It was on my desk...the bastard. 
But, I am constantly shifting stuff around on there and I can no longer find it. I do recall vacuuming one time around my desk and hearing a loud...seemingly...something that sounded like it was hard piece being sucked up. I have never had that noise ever happen before while vacuuming...and now this small metal piece is missing. 
I guess it will be worth the trouble if I find it...but if not....
Happy Wednesday all.
I broke my watch band pin and there was a small metal piece that also came lose on the band. After taking 3 attempts to order the right size pin, I am finally ready to reassemble. However, the small piece that came lose is missing.
It was on my desk...the bastard. But, I am constantly shifting stuff around on there and I can no longer find it. I do recall vacuuming one time around my desk and hearing a loud...seemingly...something that sounded like it was hard piece being sucked up. I have never had that noise ever happen before while vacuuming...and now this small metal piece is missing. I guess it will be worth the trouble if I find it...but if not....
Happy Wednesday all.
Hopping on Opportunity
A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."
The mangy guy says, "You're right. I don't have a lot of money.
But. if I show you something terrific that you haven't seen before, will you then give me a drink?"
The bartender says, "Only if what you show me isn't risque."
"Deal!" says the mangy guy and he reaches into his coat pocket
and pulls out a hamster.
He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room,
up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing songs.
And the hamster is pretty good.
The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. :surprised: That hamster is good on the piano."
A guy at the end of the bar runs over and offers the mangy guy $500
for the hamster.
"No way, states the mangy guy. This hamster is not for sale for any price."
The mangy guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.
"Money or another miracle else no drink," says the bartender.
So, the mangy guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog.
He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing in a marvelous voice and great pitch. He's a fine singer.
The stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.
The guy says, "It's a deal."
He takes the $ 300 and gives the stranger the frog.
The stranger runs out of the bar with the frog.
The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut ?
You wouldn't sell the hamster for $500 but you sold a singing frog for $300?
It must have been worth millions.
You must be crazy."
As he finishes his second drink and begins to the leave the bar, the mangy guy retorts, "Not so, I can catch lots of frogs.
But, I'm not sure I'll find another hamster that can play piano and is also a ventriloquist."
The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."
The mangy guy says, "You're right. I don't have a lot of money.
But. if I show you something terrific that you haven't seen before, will you then give me a drink?"
The bartender says, "Only if what you show me isn't risque."
"Deal!" says the mangy guy and he reaches into his coat pocket
and pulls out a hamster.
He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room,
up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing songs.
And the hamster is pretty good.
The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. :surprised: That hamster is good on the piano."
A guy at the end of the bar runs over and offers the mangy guy $500
for the hamster.
"No way, states the mangy guy. This hamster is not for sale for any price."
The mangy guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.
"Money or another miracle else no drink," says the bartender.
So, the mangy guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog.
He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing in a marvelous voice and great pitch. He's a fine singer.
The stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.
The guy says, "It's a deal."
He takes the $ 300 and gives the stranger the frog.
The stranger runs out of the bar with the frog.
The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut ?
You wouldn't sell the hamster for $500 but you sold a singing frog for $300?
It must have been worth millions.
You must be crazy."
As he finishes his second drink and begins to the leave the bar, the mangy guy retorts, "Not so, I can catch lots of frogs.
But, I'm not sure I'll find another hamster that can play piano and is also a ventriloquist."
online today!
Eating Weird stuff
We constantly hear from vegetarians that eating meat and other foods is bad and we should think of the animals...
What about the rights of vegetables? Surely they feel pain in some way or another?
I’m not knocking vegetarians etc. they have a right to their opinions.
I myself am a vagitarian when the mood strikes.
There is another group we don’t hear much about, it falls under the name “Pica” which (thanks to Wikipedia) means the consumption of substances with no significant nutritional value, This often happens with pregnant women.
Some examples:-
• Cautopyreiophagia (burnt matches)
• Coniophobia (dust)
• Coprophagia (feces)
• Emetophagia (vomit)
• Geomelophagia (raw potatoes)
• Geophagia (dirt, soil, clay)
Do you eat anything like this? (perhaps when pregnant) and why?
What about the rights of vegetables? Surely they feel pain in some way or another?
I’m not knocking vegetarians etc. they have a right to their opinions.
I myself am a vagitarian when the mood strikes.
There is another group we don’t hear much about, it falls under the name “Pica” which (thanks to Wikipedia) means the consumption of substances with no significant nutritional value, This often happens with pregnant women.
Some examples:-
• Cautopyreiophagia (burnt matches)
• Coniophobia (dust)
• Coprophagia (feces)
• Emetophagia (vomit)
• Geomelophagia (raw potatoes)
• Geophagia (dirt, soil, clay)
Do you eat anything like this? (perhaps when pregnant) and why?
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »