Last Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

I say to myself as I cripple to the cupboard to get some Advil and a glass of water

Please, don't shoot!, So, I forgot your birthday!......Calm down, tomorrow is a new,,, ok,, don't bother,,,,
So, what would you write on your tombstone?

My newly purchased AFRICAN GREY does not want to eat seed, Don't know why but he has also decided to eat all my other birds. I'm im shock. Any advice appreciated.

Please help!







Pic of my new African Grey.

Blogland is throwing a party, bloggers are not allowed to bring any outsiders…and everyone has to contribute. You all have responsibilities::uhoh:

Bar full of drinks, Molly, Butterfly and Seagrit are in charge.

Lots of desserts: DC

Gambling Table : Johnny

Live Bands and Music : Nozeal, Track and Robby are in-charge

Barbeque: Ken

Food and Memorabilias : CC, Sista and Angel

Story Teller: Robert

Fortune Teller and Astrology : Gypsy, Daniela , Tepid and Semsu

Transportation,: Mic and Nam

Male Entertainers: Ian , Blue, Robby , Diece , Scotty , Daears,
Rocking and CrownAffair

Female entertainers and dancers…Cal, Ish, Free, Shane, Georgie, BB , Seri and the newbies Annlee and others

Security : Cap Nemo, Bespoke, GentleJim, Zman,Dedo, Loveranger, Pat, IBA, IATO, Twazzle , RCM, Timotie and MAP

Publicity : Elegsabiff is in charge

Medics : Nurse Loulou and NotaDoc

Usherettes: Kal, Ekself, Usha, Unlao, Kittyjoy, DutchF, Diova, Tatami, 2B, Pieceacke, Laucymaud

We will honor the respectable Old members…they will be sitting in a special round table and will be given the CS Loyalty Awards : Pedal, Solamente, Redex, LJ,Nam, Wen, Sands, Itchy, Kenaux, LouLou, Capricorn, Angel, BC, Zman, Jimnastic, MicLee, Bungalow, Catfoot, Lukeon, Hans , Viking, Avias, CC , Calliops, Raven, RaptureCapture, GG and few others.

Those who are in need of absolution and communion, Keys will be in the mini chapel behind the bar.

Those who are not mentioned are also required to attend

Snook will take care of the live streaming of the party

Emcee: Robert and Usha

No one is going home alone and empty-handed…We are going to crown our Lovers Of The Night ( age gap no more than 20 years ) so feel free to cast your vote:

Dress Code: 70S to 80s, post a pic for approval…

Venue… open to suggestions

If I’m to run this party, it’s going to be a wild one…so it’s best if we all do this together…post your ideas and suggestions and let the fun begin

PS: For those who were wondering what I was talking about not being able to post any comment...here they go again...they stopped me from commenting last night so Scotty had the last word...this is not unusual for me and I'll be able to post comment and join the party later. Meanwhile, Mic make sure everyone arrives on time

Things must be getting a bit tough for our sweet little Irish Girls........




Story from the Irish Post:

AN IRISH woman who married the ghost of a 300-year-old pirate claims the couple have split up.

Amanda Teague, 46, from Drogheda, Co. Louth, married the Haitian pirate named Jack earlier this year.

The wedding to her ‘soulmate’ took place on board a boat in international waters off the Irish coast.

However the Irish Mirror reports the couple have called it a day after less than a year.

WARNING
Taking to social media, Amanda said: “So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over.

“I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with.”

The split is another blow for Jack, after he was purportedly executed for thieving on the high seas in the 1700s.

Pirates of the Caribbean fan Amanda previously told The Irish Post how she spent £4,000 to look like Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp’s character in the film.


......

FOOTNOTE: No doubt we will be seeing her on CS shortly, possibly under the profile name of 'SparrowFart' ...
Looking for a man 99 - 300 ...
Must be naughtycle and have a jolly roger
......

Who are you?

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

we all use to host on here....to try to get to a hundred responses or more.....ok...how about some of the dumbest words u have heard...ok i shall begin with....your check is in the mail....unbelieveable!!

If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and
thinking things through, you will love this.
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake up, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of
workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”
The CEO said, “Wait right here.”
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay.
Now GET OUT and don’t come back!!”
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”
From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”