Last Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Ahaha! Thank you so much Jarred, your new blog is too very funny, could not help but laugh!

Today in The New Yorker;



I do recall stories about people getting stoned to death and dying on crosses.
Perhaps there is a parable about kids being kept in separate cages from their parents too.

Maybe something about grabbing women by the

I do remember one story (not the bible) of a "merry band" stealing from the rich to give to the poor. Perhaps the bible has the reverse situation in it for Trump to attempt to validate his big tax cuts for the rich.

Hillary Clinton addressed a major gathering of the Apache Indian Nation. She spoke for almost an hour about her plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. Though vague in detail, she spoke about her ideas for helping her "red sisters and brothers."

Afterwards, the Tribes presented her with a plaque inscribed with her new Native American name, "Walking Eagle", which she proudly accepted.
After Hillary left, a news reporter asked the chief how they came to select this name.

They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of s*** that it can no longer fly!

Hello












: cartwheel:



HELLO

Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?" Student: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "What are you talking about?" Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

Hi guys!

how to minimize distance between the two breakables

Happy birthday to the blurred blogger, Mollybaby, have a fantabulous day and I hope you've taken it off work and are going to have a thoroughly awesome day

Some originals by yours truly;

8. Instead of bragging about grabbing he grabbed the check once in a while.

7. The extra long ties aren't fooling anyone.

6. If he stopped calling or implying that women are ugly.

5. The screwing porn stars, usage of massage parlors, and invasion of privacy in girl's pageant dressing rooms has got to stop.

4. Women do have rights over their own bodies.

3. Less kids in cages and more cagey tax cuts on shoes.

2. The only lies permitted are how thin she looks.

1. The slogan instead was ....."build the.... mall".

Add your own, if you like. Round it off at 10, if you can.

I do. Really, I do... All of them. I do...

A husband, who is not the most outgoing guy, relents to his wife's months of nagging to take her out dancing. During the evening one guy on the dance floor is giving it large - break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

Seeing this performance, the wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty-five years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Her husband replies, "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!"




A woman needed encouragement to keep pedaling the exercise bike in her gym. So my friend, the gym manager, said, "Close your eyes and imagine you're riding along Broadway in New York City. It will be more interesting." Inspired, the woman cycled on, but after a minute she stopped.
"What's wrong?" asked my friend.
"The traffic light's red," she replied.


A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue.

Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him.

He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"

The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered.

"When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"