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Picture it: a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, two men and a woman are shipwrecked. A month passes. Now apply stereotypes (add any not already included)

If all were Italian - one man has killed the other to have the woman.

If all were French - an enjoyable ménage-à-trois.

If all were German - the two men have built the woman a snug little house, and have a rota of alternating visits to her.

If all were Greek - the men are together, and the woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

If all were Bulgarian, the men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

All three Japanese have faxed Tokyo, and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.

The two Australian men are contemplating suicide because the Australian woman keeps complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and have set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

.... ..... .. ... .. ....

Release of 18 files containing details of unidentified aerial phenomena, that's UFOs to you & me, have been delayed again, till at least next March included in these files is "The Redlesham Forest incident, which is alleged to have taken place near USAF Woodbridge, Suffolk, in 1980, saw US Airman First Class John Burroughs, who was stationed there, exposed to radiation after a mystery "UFO visitation", though I spent a week on the base I am unable to tell you what I discovered about this incident

The new timing for the release is I think highly significant by March the new president for the USA will have been sworn in & the UK will have activated article 50 to leave the EU, one doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to work out there's a cover up here, there are several possibilities, could Hillary in fact be an alien robot, her health issues a dummy to cover the software flaws that give her robotic movement & make her fall over regularly the same could be said of Junker at the EU, his speeches often described as rambling & indecipherable, or could we be missing the real clue that no human has hair like Donald or as they never seem to talk with each other could the entire British cabinet be alien robots with a communications problem, indeed if that's the case I suspect Russian hackers to be behind that

In zoos you have sign posts

DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS....

What about sign posts that are so

Like... Don't give alcohol to alcoholics

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

...everyone in your blog, like a handing out participation trophies?








...but I like my participation trophies.

Don't judge me.

I just saw this commercial for the first time tonight.
It apparently debuted in 2013 during the Superbowl.
It's kind of silly, but I couldn't help laughing.






Have you seen it before ?

I wouldn't rank it among my favorite commercials;


























But, it did make me laugh.

Friend A – conversational bridge – always a competition. Worse, better, always the need to take the trick. Example – idle comment – “I’ve just done (insert neutral topic here) it was okay. Response - I did that once, it was rubbish / fantastic. Long involved details follow. You win.

Friend B - attention span issues. Example – Yesterday I tried adding lime pepper to my pasta and – ooh I saw something on cooking the other day, let me show you, and out comes the phone tap tap tap here see that. Well okay but what I meant was – did I tell you about the shoes I just bought? I took a photo, tap tap tap, look. So I give up but friend is waiting expectantly for the next topic to interrupt . . .

Friend C – the persistent grouch. I walked the dog for over an hour, I’m absolutely knackered. That must be nice. It’s hard for me to walk since the pain started in my foot. Have you seen a doctor about that yet? What’s the point there’s nothing they can do just a waste of time and money doctors are so expensive and all they do is give you the pills the pharma companies want them to promote

Friend D – the partner fixation – what did you think of the (insert situation here) I’ll have to come back to you on that, partner has not yet told me how we feel about that.

I think I need a few new friends, I've used these ones up. But if it's me ...

That has to be the most popular question I get from women who initially contact me on here.
It's in their first email to me and yet, I go to great efforts to pre-answer that in my profile, which they obviously haven't read.

So, from now on, they get a smart-a** answer. (not that some of them didn't already get such an answer)

Answers;

my car keys

my remote control

my wallet

the meaning of life

a cure for ridiculous questions

what aisle the potato salad is in.

my profile. Have you seen it ?

the last digit in pi

you know

the smallest subatomic particle

I forgot.

a way to time travel

I was hoping you would tell me.

Don't worry I found it.

The winning lottery ticket

That depends. What have you got ?

and the number one answer they are getting is;

Why people are always asking me questions


Add you own, if you like.