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Things must be getting a bit tough for our sweet little Irish Girls........




Story from the Irish Post:

AN IRISH woman who married the ghost of a 300-year-old pirate claims the couple have split up.

Amanda Teague, 46, from Drogheda, Co. Louth, married the Haitian pirate named Jack earlier this year.

The wedding to her ‘soulmate’ took place on board a boat in international waters off the Irish coast.

However the Irish Mirror reports the couple have called it a day after less than a year.

WARNING
Taking to social media, Amanda said: “So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over.

“I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with.”

The split is another blow for Jack, after he was purportedly executed for thieving on the high seas in the 1700s.

Pirates of the Caribbean fan Amanda previously told The Irish Post how she spent £4,000 to look like Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp’s character in the film.


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FOOTNOTE: No doubt we will be seeing her on CS shortly, possibly under the profile name of 'SparrowFart' ...
Looking for a man 99 - 300 ...
Must be naughtycle and have a jolly roger
......

Who are you?

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

we all use to host on here....to try to get to a hundred responses or more.....ok...how about some of the dumbest words u have heard...ok i shall begin with....your check is in the mail....unbelieveable!!

If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and
thinking things through, you will love this.
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake up, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of
workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”
The CEO said, “Wait right here.”
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay.
Now GET OUT and don’t come back!!”
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”
From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

My blanket fort has been evacuated; Time for coffee, Coffee bar is full.

Coffee ingested in groups of three, you wonder if that passerby is into vajazzling

Perhaps the coffee is far too strong, I begin to ponder:-

Revelation! Turn a ladder upside down and climb down things.

Is your sister an only child? Did Gloria Gaynor survive?

Is that a Kangaroo? No just a skinny greyhound having a shit.

As the sun rises you hear that Lionel Ritchie wants to know if you are looking for him.

You read of Social Justice Warriors making Idiots out of themselves.

You light another cigarette, will it make me dumb?

Shoplifting can result in Jail, Jail as a male will enlarge your rectum.

Would I eat Breast Milk Cheese? Surely it’s the similar milk, so yes why not.

Do you remember wedding vows? A..E..I..O..U doesn’t sound right; perhaps the cigarettes should go in the bin.

Ponders the lost art of finger pointing and if Wi-Fi can be set up in donuts.

Conversation amongst the other patrons seems to be tractor related...yawn

Methinks, too much coffee, *googles rehab*

You ever have far too much coffee?

Tag. ) ..deep Tom Fakes...

A very dear friend of mine consulted a fortune-teller or a clairvoyant yesterday as the uncertainty of the globe put her into a very nervous state.
Well she said the lady told her that the current state of affairs is similar as to when a passenger sitting in a window seat just behind the wing of an aircraft that is flying at 40,000 feet and sees how the wing falls off. Not 2 seconds later the hostess very calmly announces that all passengers should immediately put their head between their legs and kiss their a$$ goodbye.

Needless to say that a couple of men in white coats have taken my friend to what they called a 'nervous' institution where she is currently undergoing sleep therapy.

Hoping to see her fully recovered after ww3.

God willing.

Before anyone asks .
The moral of the story is to stay faar away from any 'fortune-teller'. They know too much.