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Last Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Viewed, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.

Catfoot

Talking To Yourself?

Do you talk to yourself? I grew up believing that it is the first sign of insanity but apparently it is not so bad. Only when you have full conversations with yourself, you need to get worried. It may be a sign of schizophrenia.scold

Normal conversation is defined as verbal exchanges between two or more persons; therefore talking to oneself can hardly be described as conversation though politicians, preachers, parents, teachers, and the likes of them often talk to themselves, believing that those who are being addressed by them are actually listening.laugh

My friends too often talk to themselves when we sit in a noisy place. Being somewhat hard of hearing, I cannot hear a thing when there is noise or music in the background. I learned to watch their facial expressions and I have developed a set of gestures, headshakes, and more facial expressions that I use to return conversation while they are blissfully unaware that they are talking to nobody but themselves.grin

Then of course, there are those who talk to the TV set. Discounting voice recognition technology to change channels, we all know that neither the TV, nor the person(s) displayed on the screen can hear or respond to you. Yet, you will often find people warning those on the screen of impending dangers, while coaches will sit on their couches in their lounges coaching their teams to victory or defeat. rolling on the floor laughing

This does not conform to the definition of normal conversation and must also be seen as talking to oneself. It is just as well those players cannot hear their coaches sitting on their couches; they damn well won’t know who to listen to.confused

But the clever people say that talking to oneself is not limited to verbal speech. Writing is also talking to yourself if it is not addressed to somebody in particular. Mind you, that sounds familiar. I have seen some blogs and comments doing exactly that; sometimes asking questions only to answer them as well in the next comment.doh
cats meow cats meow

Well, enjoy the weekend or what is left of it.wave
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JimNastics

I don't know if you have seen this funny show. If not, I recommend it.

I loved the show 'Whose Line is it Anyway', because the audience would choose topics and then the comedians would act out a combination of those topics. It was terrific ad lib comedy.

Long before that, there was 'Hollywood Squares'.
It had 9 boxes and the contestants tried to play tic tac toe,
by getting 3 boxes correct in a row. Each box had a Hollywood star,
who would answer a question. First they would give a joke answer
and then would give what they felt was the correct answer.
The contestants would take turns guessing if their real answer was correct or not.

Well most recently, there is a show called 'Funny You Should Ask'.
It has a somewhat similar scenario, but without the tic tac toe aspect.
Comedians and other somewhat famous people first give a joke answer
and then what they think is the right answer and again the contestants alternate guessing whether the answer they gave was correct or not.

It's quite funny. For instance, the episode I just got done with had 6 stars including John Lovitz and Louie Anderson.

Here's 4 of the questions and the joke answer from tonight's show;

#1. True or false, a company recently was making make-up from human corpses.

Joke answer = Yeah, well, maybe it's Maybelline, or maybe it's your late great Aunt Mabel.

#2. Georgia is known as the state of 3 p's, Peaches, Peanuts and ..... ?

Joke answer = Incestual Pregnancies.

#3. True or False, According to Homes & Gardens magazine, the most dangerous room in a home is the bathroom.

Joke Answer = Yes ! Especially after I use it after eating chilli.

#4. What animal has a nickname of 'Whistle Pigs' ?

Joke answer = Construction workers !

There's an initial round of ~ 5 questions each for each contestant and they get $100 for each one they get right. Then, there's a second round where they double that to $200 each for each right answer.
And the winner then get an third championship round.
So, there's lots of opportunity for laughter. cheers

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nonsmoker

@ DC

would the Answer to words hidden in pic that you posted be as follows ...................................................

Fecking
Brat
Kids
trashing
their
Room

laugh beer
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Tanzila

Hollly Cow ... !!!

" An enthusiastic Preacher belonging to the Society for the Protection of Cows , came for an interview with Swamiji (SWAMI VIVEKANAND) .. He (the Preacher) was dressed almost like a Sanyasi (Hindu Saint) , if not fully so — with a Gerua (Saffron) Turban on the head , he was evidently an Up-Country Indian .. At the announcement of this Preacher of Cow-Protection , Swamiji came out to the parlour room .. The Preacher saluted Swamiji and presented him with a picture of the Mother-Cow .. Swamiji took that in his hand and handover it to one standing by , commenced the following conversation with the preacher ..

Swamiji : What is the object of your society ?

Preacher : We protect the Mother-Cows of our country from the hands of the butcher .. Cow-infirmaries have been founded in some places where the diseased , decrepit Mother-Cows or those bought from the butchers are provided for ..

Swamiji : That is very good indeed .. What is the source of your income ?

Preacher : The work of the society is carried on only by gifts kindly made by great men like you ..

Swamiji : What amount of money have you now laid by ?

Preacher : The Marwari Traders’ community are the special supporters of this work .. They have given a big amount for this good cause ..

Swamiji : A terrible Famine has now broken out in Central India .. The Indian Government has published a Death-roll of Nine Lakhs (Nine Millions) of starved people .. Has your society done anything to render help in this time of Famine ?

Preacher : We do not help during Famine or other distresses .. This society has been established only for the protection of Mother-Cows ..

Swamiji : During a Famine when Lakhs (Millions) of people, your own brothers and sisters , have fallen into the jaws of death , you have not thought it your duty , though having the means , to help them in that terrible calamity with food !

Preacher : No .. This Famine broke out as a Result of men’s Karma , their Sins .. It is a case of ' Like Karma , Like Fruit ' (As You Sow , So Shall You Reap) ..

Hearing the words of the Preacher , sparks of fire , as it were , scintillated in Swamiji’s large eyes , his face became flushed ..
But he suppressed his feeling and said : ........................................... With regard to your cause also , it can be said — the Mother-Cows through their own Karma fall into the hands of the butchers and die , and we need not do anything in the matter ..

The Preacher was a little abashed and said : Yes , what you say is true , but the Shastras say that the Cow is our Mother ..

Swamiji smilingly said : Yes , that the Cow is our Mother , I understand .. Who else could give birth to such accomplished children ? laugh

The Up-Country Preacher did not speak further on the subject , perhaps he could not understand the point of Swamiji’s poignant ridicule .. He told Swamiji that he was begging something of him for the objects of the society ..

Swamiji : I am a Sannyasi, a Fakir .. Where shall I find money enough to help you ? But if ever I get money in my possession , I shall First spend that in the Service of Man .. Man is First to be Saved , he must be given Food , Education , and spirituality .. If any money is left after doing all these , then only something would be given to your society .. "

*** ***

So ...
The moral of the story !!

If Cow is your Mother , then the Bull is your Father .. And as a result , the Children of the union of " Holy Cow Mother and Bull Father " will be nothing but a bunch of COWardly BULLshi**ers !! wink

I Dedicate this amusing story , one of the Most Famous Legend about Swami Vivekananda , to all those Legendary Morons of our Country , who campaign to promote their most hilariously ridiculous theory that " Holy Cow is our Mother " ...


teddybear
Post Comment
emmy1

Rubbish

I came, I saw,
I forgot what I was doing,
Retraced my steps and got distracted on my way back,
I've no idea what's going on,
And now I have to per.
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sdarlagg

BIDEN’S NEW BOLD WAR ON MCDONALD'S SOFT-SERVE ICE CREAM MACHINES

BIDEN’S NEW BOLD WAR ON MCDONALD'S SOFT-SERVE ICE CREAM MACHINES Is a priority of his over national security. You can't make this clowns act up. This is unbelievable.

competition in the replacement parts and repair services markets is necessary.
While President Biden may champion this cause, dubbing it a critical national issue, it is important to question its significance in the grand scheme of things.

He is supposed to be protecting his people, the legal citizens of this country. Let's go brandon.
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Willy3411

Grammar Lesson

Everyone can use a little "grammar" update now and then so here's yours for today... enjoy!

Is it "complete", "finished" or "completely finished"? No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words - "Complete" or "Finished".

In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: 'How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.'

Here is his astute answer:

"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch!
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Crazyheart38

What The Heck Happened? Why was it deleted ?

OK, JohnnyAngel....what happened to my blog? The one about the 3 hot bloggers here? I went to bed and now I can't find my blog anymoredoh dunno The last time I commented, it was all clean and tidy...so who made a big mess there? Did Johnny posted his unsightly barechested photo there?conversing I know luckyme and the viking fisherman were there too?moping and Ken, what kind of video did you upload there?

Not accusing anyone...all I'm saying is that I'm a changed person now and really doing my best to post a clean and decent blog but some naughty members here always turn it into naughty blogmumbling moping

Just trying to lighten up the atmosphere...laugh Having a very unusual quiet day at workdunno

Hope you're all having a great Mondayheart wings teddybear
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Catfoot

Baldness And Grey Hair

The Lord made a limited number of perfect scalps. The rest He covered with hair. Somebody asked me yesterday if I’m bald. No, I fear I do not have a perfect scalp… yet. sigh

I have a smallish bald patch on top and I have lost some hair in front, but this is only visible in winter - like now – when I grow my hair. In summer I keep my hair short.

Some men go bald on top first and then it spreads to the front. Others go bald in front first then it spreads to the top. A third group – like me – start both at more or less the same time and they work their way together across the top.professor

So what is the relevance?confused

Men who are bald in front think a lot while men who are bald on top know a lot.

So what if a man is bald in front and on top? Like me! grin

He thinks he knows a lot! rolling on the floor laughing

But while we are at the general topic of hair, why is it that my beard is greyer than my hair? It should not be so. After all, my hair is 18 years older than my beard.
laugh laugh

So today is Tuesday. Vasbyt! We're getting there.
cats meow cats meow

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