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Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

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In the South, all of you has been replaced with Y'all.
This happened long before the time of the Civil War.
Everyone is included when you say Y'all.
But... (there's always a but) if Y'all isn't enough, you can make it plural and say Y'all's as in "I needs to knows what Y'all's want for the barbecue on Saturday"
Yeah, all of you!

It is simply not fair dear bloggers of Blogland. I have been accused of the worstest est est crime. Never..yes Never being able to stick to a single topic in conversation. Hopping all over the place. I mean if pigs could fly surely horses would follow. And then why hate Mondays so bursting with possibilities. So what is wrong with having 3 nipples anyway? Everyone is beautiful right? The fiscal policy affects us all. And migrating birds create a gorgeously patterned sky

Bringing me to my final conclusion...

I should eat less lettuce

Me? Drift off topic? Stuff & nonsense

Giggle

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

That Russia bears no 'Ill Will or Hostility' toward the USA. These are all 'made up' accusations to increase tension between East and West. Thus most Americans are worried about the future while the Russians are laughing their AO.

Proof of this is purely in the fact that they don't endorse and condone all Biden's and his side-kick Harris' actions.

Just think clearly for a moment here. If any country wanted the USA to carry on its suicidal path of self destruction then they would endorse and compliment each ridiculous action that is made daily by a man that is way past his prime and should've been sitting under a tree dreaming dreams of his past conquests. He deserves THAT, at least. I think Americans themselves should re-evaluate the current situation and find out who is and who isn't their enemy.



Start Here....






Please take note that this blog category iiissssss:

So no sour-pusses.

ARE HAPPIER....than couples who are very attractive and very successful.

Less attractive couple tend to see and appreciate the inner person of each other. Same goes for an attractive person who is with a less attractive partner. Inner beauties, good characters and unique personalities leave lasting impressions than the outside beauty, could be the reason why relationships between less attractive couples last longer than those couple who "have it all". They are settled, content and couldn't ask for anything more. Attractive people who has it all tend to feel they deserve better and more...and have difficulties in settling for less than what they think they deserve so they keep searching for more and easily swayed by appearances

I used to ask my husband, why he wanted me above others who are very attractive. He's quiet a catch and many were after him and I felt he deserve someone way better than me. He told me that I never bore him, each day is a new adventure with me around while those who are very attractive without good personality will easily bore him and many will look at them and they could easily look for someone better than him too.

A good looking Western guy who's married to our friend whom we consider as "ugly" ( and she herself agreed with us ) said that he married her not just because she is funny and nice person but also because she is ugly and no one will look at her and compete with him He feels secure and doesn't worry every time he turns his back...no one will chase her They are comfortable and happy together

Our neighbor who's "fat" and not attractive is married to unattractive man but they are very happy and very sweet to each other. They have 3 daughters and their home is full of laughters.

Celebrity marriages, those are mostly couple who have it all but their relationship seems shallow and many don't last long. They have it all, they can easily get what they want and easily get bored and look for a new adventure.

I have a BF, he is always grumpy and has big tummy but very attractive and successful. I always tell him to look for someone better than me...he said he's not going to look because there's only one Fruitloop in this world and that's me. I always ask myself, what the f*ck does he see in me? Maybe because he's comfortable and feel secure that no one else will chase me whenever he turns his back

To feel more secure and comfortable, I think will have to look for someone with unattractive appearance but with good humor and personality...but I have to get rid of this jerk first

Just trying to make you laugh, don't take me too seriously please

He's bald, fat, big tummy, hairy, with big ears full of shites not wax, disgustingly rotten from the inside to the outside, has 12" toadstool but unlike Shrek who is likable and likes to keep his own space, our ogre here is very intrusive, disruptive, malicious who will stalk everyone he fancies. He desperately needs a Fiona...help! .

Or make your own photo caption(s).

Here's the photo;

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out
of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue
lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110,
then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!"
and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked
up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift
ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason
for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go.."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off
with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.


Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help.
If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ...
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause every thang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked,
"Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South,
but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.

Like him or hate him You have to admit,
He sure does have a captivating Pizzazz,
No doubt about it The Force is strong in this one.