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During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day this way:

“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees.”

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,

“You must be one hell of an outdoors man!”

”NAH,” he replied, “I'm just a crappy golfer.”

We get bored with the same hobbies, so here are some alternatives you could try:-

Paint your appliances with mud and flower seeds

Flower arranging using fire

Baking using sawdust and lightbulbs for a lighter mixture

Whooping and High fiving when your dog or cat burps

Sleep in your kitchen and eat baby food for a weekend (nappy wearing optional)

A hose pipe makes a great pet, easy to look after too

Suntanning your hands in a microwave

Grow vegetables in your keyboard


What are your hobbies and will you try an alternative?

Wife asked her husband to describe her, husband said "you're A B C D E F G H I J K." Wife asked "what does that mean?"

The husband said "adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fair, gorgeous, hot."

She said "oh thats so lovely, what about I J K?"

He replied "I'm just kidding!"

More humour for us because we all need that right now...
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.'
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep" the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars" the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on Earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."

And In a startling revelation, Democratic strategists are sounding the alarm, cautioning voters that if Donald Trump is reelected, he might prioritize closing the border over participating in the much-anticipated World War III.

In other News:

Biden Warns U.S. Constitution Is Likely ‘Russian Disinformation’

Joe Biden seeks to be the first US president to start a world war and a civil war in the same year

Biden federalizes Texas National Guard troops, sends them to defend Ukraine’s border

Biden promises to fix baby formula shortage by sending more weapons to Ukraine

Local Chinese restaurant replaces fortune cookie sayings with Fani’s Daddy’s genius

I have a female cousin who is the same age as me. Our birthdays are a week apart.
She's in New Jersey and rarely do we communicate. Different priorities in life.
I recall after a long absence I did speak to her and discussed getting older. My mention of grey hair must have been a sore subject. She colors her hair and I don't.
It must have shocked her to say the first grey hair I recall getting was on my chest. Hopefully she doesn't have any chest hair!

Never in my whole life would I imagine that the day would come that my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!!!

True what they say: This is the New Now. Terrible.

WARNING:



Everyone - please raise your glasses and join me in toasting our antique man…a gentleman of high principles, one who never gives in to any temptation, so modest that no matter how hard I tried, he never posted a shirtless photo. This man is a real deal…somebody out there will be very lucky to have this gorgeous junk…errr I mean hunk!

Here’s to JOHNNY who turns 43 today …




Please have fun, be merry, get drunk, get stoned, get lusty… tonight is the night!

This party is sponsored by the following:

For your own protection, please grab a packet or two before you join the VHS area and watch any of those lusty movies that Robert and Big Richard have prepared…and Charlie Hoarse is giving away free weeds and cigars tonight...keep it safe!!!


For those who would like to liven up the party, please fill up the form and wear the following shirt:




In our “ adult” area, Angel is giving away, for FREE …accessories that could help you feel comfortable and enjoy the party, so don’t hesitate to grab any of these should the need arise.





For those who feel they are too old for this party, please proceed to the pool area. Foods and drinks are all free but don’t forget to give Ken a big smile when you grab some those yummy BBQs…he’s in charge of the grill and the dancers… Ken, fire it up!

The first male and female who greets Johnny in comments section will take home a fantastic surprise gift!!!

Angel is paying the bill so eat and drink all you can and have fun everyone!

Been There, Done That ?

According to Wikipedia:

Menopause, also known as the climacteric, is the time in most women's lives when menstrual periods stop permanently, and they are no longer able to have children , a natural change that typically occurs between 45 and 55 years of age. It can occur earlier in those who smoke tobacco. Other causes include surgery that removes both ovaries, or some types of chemotherapy. At the physiological level, menopause happens because of a decrease in the ovaries' production of the hormones estrogen and progesterone.

Symptoms:

* Dyspareunia is painful s*xual intercourse due to medical or psychological causes. The pain can primarily be on the external surface of the genitalia, or deeper in the pelvis upon deep pressure against the cervix. It can affect a small portion of the vulva or va*ina or be felt all over the surface

* Vaginal dryness

* Atrophic vaginitis (also known as vaginal atrophy, vulvovaginal atrophy, or urogenital atrophy) is an inflammation of thevagina (and the outer urinary tract) due to the thinning and shrinking of the tissues, as well as decreased lubrication. These symptoms are due to a lack of the reproductive hormone estrogen.

Other physical symptoms of menopause include: lack of energy, joint soreness, stiffness, back pain, breast enlargement, breast pain, heart palpitations, headache, dizziness, dry, itchy skin, thinning, tingling skin, weight gain, urinary incontinence, urinary urgency, interrupted sleeping patterns, heavy night sweats, hot flashes.

Psychological symptoms include: anxiety, poor memory, inability to concentrate, depressive mood, irritability,mood swings,less interest in s*xual activity.

Yes, Yes, we all know about menopause...

This blog is not to educate others about menopause...as I haven't experienced it yet...not looking forward to it tho! 'Was sitting with friends yesterday and this topic came up. Most of my friends here in Jordan are either going through menopause or were already there. Symptoms they are going/went through are exactly what I read about on the internet and books but in most "s*xual" topics here on blogs and forum, many women who are past the menopausal age claimed to be "hotter" after menopause...this is contradicting science and what I've heard from those who went through it ...makes me wonder if they're simply BSing and "wet dreaming" here ? Many here claimed to be very sexually active after menopause...more than ever and looking for a nicely packaged hot tall, dark and handsome man who has all the right qualities...won't settle for less than great sex...seriously?

Here is a great place to read and learn from the experiences of others but it seems many here are in denial of their decline and failures in life...who are we kidding ?

Most of my friends who are going through menopause or been there said that they're no longer interested in dating...menopause makes them feel sexually unattractive and "old". This doesn't make me look forward to my menopausal days at all

For the men:

Would you date a woman who's going through menopause and experiencing those symptoms above ?