Comedy Blogs (1,863)

What a ...Dum Dum.....ha ha MEN!!!!!

The Male Cycle: 1. When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big ti*ts. 2. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big ti*ts, but there was no passion. I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. 3. In colleg

The joke's on her.....

So four dudes spend weeks planning the perfect camping and fishing trip to a remote and disconnected spot. Two days before they are due to leave, Dave's wife puts her foot down and tells him he's not going. His buddies are naturally pissed off that

Sometimes you feel like a nut....

As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifl*e-- which no longer works-- and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit. I came arou

Fun blog...joinup..

Pick up Whatsapp...makeup...Putup Pop up,stay up,sun up,roll up,set up and throw up... Getup fedup...Giveup Throwup....Cheeerup Closeup....please don't tell me ...shutup Most important Look up and be thankful God is there....being

That's a guy thing......

A bloke goes to the council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him,"Are you allergic to anything" He replies, "Yes caffeine." "Have you ever worked for the public service before." "Yes I was in the army"he says,I was in Iraq f

TDS has been replaced by BDS...

If you recall when Hillary lost, Republicans started in with the Hillary Derangement Syndrome for anyone who couldn't believe Trump won. They switched to the Trump Derangement Syndrome as Hillary faded out. Actually, it's not completely gone as I've

Another man bit the dust!!!!

The first apple.(this..A. Red head) A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at o

Man.. “always read the manual first”

This... guy is in serious trouble.. A Farmer orders an expensive milking machine. He decides to test it on himself first, so he inserts his manhood into the equipment and turns on the switch. Soon he realizes that the equipment provides hi

Heard moments ago on 'Funny You Ahould Ask'

The following were the joke answers given by comedians, before attempting the correct answer; Question = If you want to be liked by your boss, where should you sit, relative to your boss ? Joke Answer by Whitney Cummings = "On his lap." Qu

Typical spoiled man!!!

How To Shower Like a Man Turn on immersion heater and wait hours for water to reheat after wife's shower. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and throw them on bedroom floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the

My Laugh for the Day.!!!

One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilit

Crafty old coot..hmm..sorry

An old wolf. So an older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend . The jeweller looked through his s

She got him good!....

At a girl’s college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately. “I want t

Well. That was an interesting night!!!

One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No

Amazing what money can do.....

Graham Martin is in Hospital: Who the hell is GRAHAM? Well Graham is the geezer who got home late one night and Helen his wife, says. "Where the hell have you been?" Graham replies. "I was getting a tattoo!" "A tattoo?" She frowned. "What kind of

Haaaaa... u made my day!!

A woman tries getting on a bus, but realizes her skirt is too tight. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly emba

What an.. instrument.....

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor” “Of course child. What may I do for you” “Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over th

Unique Holiday Gifts

I have recently discovered my hidden artistic talent. If anybody would like portraits of their pets done, just pm me for details. Act quick because Christmas orders are filling up fast!! :da

Cooking Adventure Failures

I went to make an ooey gooey cheese sauce because a good sauce can be used to make many things taste better. I watched a you tube video for an easy sauce using 1 teaspoon of sodium citrate in broth. I don't know what sodium citrate is but I bought

Trump Claims he Won German Election

From The New Yorker; Satire from The Borowitz Report Trump Claims He Won German Election By Andy Borowitz PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—

Lol..men are men....

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right bes

Abbott And Costello on vaccinations

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Pf-LAzPCkF_1bJdwirmAsmKB053GuhgI_yLmymGKBBKSXSDi-ft1Ufiz-NTMwib4_6vY5qmUZx_7zcR6GU8riKXVDOX5i7PyklTRwNEYU_wifbxZ2WTGZDlf6AL763z909Q-tKURjzXr7ztU6pBnWn6i3EmzEbtWRY-o1BwNHZy4EKP77w5j0ClEYYWDX8jJxBSncAXqZ_5jgbtFujU

How to make your wife or significant other happy

Literally every single thing in this video is true. Obviously, the entire thing is passive aggressive, but it’s so true. Watch David Hookstead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z

The New Bug,

FOXITIS This is the new bug, that has been around for some time. Just to think of Foxitis makes me laugh..

Dum......Dum...

An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, my hearts dearest etc.

Speaking horse......

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your trouser pocket'. The man t

Pink

I love color changes. Right now I'm in love with pink before pink it was blue and before that green. Out of the blue a few weeks ago I just decided one day to have the lower half of my hair painted pink. It was supposed to be temporary color but

Sometimes, CS reminds me of...

When 2 of the worst US presidents duke it out.....with words.

First the background, well summed up by the following video; Then quick as a bunny, the comedy from Borowitz, laden with the irony of what should have been said, if Trump was truthf

The Polite Way to P...(ee)

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Johnny", if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" ?

God Must Be Crazy !!!

I sometimez feel really baaddd for that God fella !! I mean if there is One !! If God is around somewhere , then The God must be thinking ... "These two legged creature called human Braught me down here on Earth for their own Personal A

Didn't see that one coming.....

I was sitting at a bar one time, when I noticed that, next to me, an old drunk was hassling one of the biggest, toughest guys I’d ever seen. The old guy was clearly blasted, and kept getting in the tough guy’s face, saying “I slept with your mother.

Hollly Cow ... !!!

" An enthusiastic Preacher belonging to the Society for the Protection of Cows , came for an interview with Swamiji (SWAMI VIVEKANAND) .. He (the Preacher) was dressed almost like a Sanyasi (Hindu Saint) , if not fully so — with a Gerua (Saffron) Tur

Biden's Guest Hosting Of 'Jeopardy!' A Disaster

Biden's Guest Hosting Of 'Jeopardy!' A Disaster As He Flees Every Time A Contestant Puts An Answer In Form Of A Question. CULVER CITY, CA—It seemed like a big coup for the game show Jeopardy! as they got the President of the United States himself,

3 Contractors

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. * The New Orleans contractor t

WHY OH WHY ....

connecting singles ,,,this is where you get a chance completely free of charge , to portray ones self to a world wide audience in the hope of meeting or chatting to like minded people,, Be it through private messaging ,blogs or forums, well as mos

Fun: ...excellent facilities for your private parts....

Copied from another page (goes to show that translation is not easy ?? ): A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has be

Lindsey Graham marriage to...

All of you...

In the South, all of you has been replaced with Y'all. This happened long before the time of the Civil War. Everyone is included when you say Y'all. But... (there's always a but) if Y'all isn't enough, you can make it plural and say Y'all's as in

Best divorce letter.....

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell ... Your boss called to tell me th

The Major League Record for......

..... having home runs hit off your head. That's using your head, Jose.