Comedy Blogs (1,863)

nothin done without money

am so ashame I went to the restaurant to purchse a meal for just 300 $ jmd. I stood in a long waiting line with urge to pay my cashier .no sooner I was there standing in front the cashier with just my 300$ . I order a mini

The Drought Is Broken!

A far-off cousin farms in one of the driest regions in this country. Last week, when it rained there for the first time in 19 years, his 17-year-old son experienced rain for the first time. When he heard the thunder and saw the lightning, wh

A Forbidden Love Is Sweeter

When somebody tells me to go to hell, I gladly try to oblige, but I never get further than the gates. Whenever I get there, they lock and bar the gates on first sight. The first time that somebody sent me to hell, I seduced the devil’s wife and he (t

lol

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an aircraft. The next day, he called

skype

i am online on skype , just share your i.d with me for comedy..............................

Make-Up vs. No make Up in profile pics.

I've been thinking, wouln't it be wonderful if it was mandatory for women on the site to have at least ONE picture without any make up on to see what they really look like.

Shopping List

Many of us over 60, especially those WAY over 60, may be confused about how we should present ourselves in public. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. An

Chuck and the Horse

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Chuck replied, "

If You Have To Start Your Own Religious Group/Cult

what would it be?

Another old joke.

In our heads, we're all still in our thirties ... This woman changes dentists, and notices that the fairly unusual name of the new dentist is the same as the name of a boy she went to school with, 30 years ago. However, when she sees him, she thi

English is a very odd language

There have been blogs lately about how many languages people speak: couldn't comment there, I have some Afrikaans, scraps of German and French and can greet people in 13 languages including Welsh - the conversation bogs down after that, though. Sawu

Steel And Wood Work Good

About 25 years ago, one of my younger friends had to have a testicle removed. He was very worried as he had no children yet and very dearly wanted some. I told him that he only needed one testicle and that the second was only a back up.

A TIME FOR A ROLL CALL...

Sista is not around at the moment so I'm taking over... Where is everybody? Sista, Wallops, Wen, Cal, Hans, Mic,Keys, Fly, Kandy, LJ, KN, Nam and anyone else not around here lately? I've been missing the birthday celebrant Wel for so long

First Drink With Son

Off we went to our local pub, Murphy's, only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he might like some Harp L

Connecting Singles.revised

Here's the result of my previous blog " What Else Would You Like For CS To Do To Make You Happy?" All suggestions from other bloggers are up there, any more suggestions, reactions, revisions and recommendations are welcome. http

Copper Clapper Caper

I ran accross this video on youtube and thought it was very funny! I wanted to share it with people who want a good laugh! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjquGpmgwOo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjquGpmgwOo[/youtube

Why Do We Have Emoticons?

I cannot claim to be an angel. In fact, I’m a little devil at the best of times, but it annoys me when somebody calls me a liar. I cannot claim to be an . In fact, I’m a little at the best of times, but it me when somebo

Real Name

It seems to me that I'm the only guy that was silly enough to use my real name (or Partly) as a CS handle. My full name is actually Luke Onassis (LukeOn). Yes, family to Aristotle. Just wondering if anyone else also used their real n

Yes, I Can Help!(you may be better off without it)

Being one of the senior members in our family, the younger generation often asks me for advice. Upon my return yesterday, I received this email from one of my nieces. Dear Uncle Cat, I need your advice. As you know, my husb

What Else Would You Like For CS To Do...

To Make You Happy? I've noticed that many bloggers are online and yet the Blog Land is too too quiet Is there a new tab or section or corner here that's probably more fun than the blogs? Last time I was hoping they would

I am back but I was not dead....

Greetings this is iluvisis1. Isis, the wife of Osiris, and her son was Horace. I have had this moniker for years before the moronic terrorists used it. I like hisory and egyptology. I am a poet and I love writing poetry. The reason I wrote this is

Went With The Wind!

Saw this on my FB this morning and thought I would like to share it here. Back in 1976, The Carol Burnett Show aired a sketch comedy segment that would forever be held as one of the funniest moments in the history of television. And

TROLLS

According to Wikipedia: A troll is a supernatural being in Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore. They dwell in isolated rocks, mountains, or caves, live together in small family units but their dwellings seems to be getting too congested for

Priest and Pilot Go To Heaven

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this cool guy: "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you

Old jokes - TGIF!

*I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. *We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. *My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea. *The Doctor called Mrs. Smit

A Death Threat.

I’m in grave trouble. Some guy is threatening to shoot me or run me over with his car. I’m soiling my underpants with fear. I’m too scared to leave the house. I received a hand-delivered note in my mailbox yesterday informing me that the w

MY HEART GOES BOOM BOOM BOOM

I just received this lovely message from a hunky gentleman...I'm wondering how many ladies here have received the clone of this too? Hi I deeply regret that it is my unfortunate duty to bring it to your attention that you are a

woman...man...

... ... ...

Life guard humor

Elephant Stew

Following the decision to utilize the carcasses of animals that fell victim to poachers, elephant carcasses became available in moderate quantities. To pave the way for the Elephant Carcass Export Company (ECEC) I founded last week, I bring you a rec

The New Generation

Got this courtesy of a friend...Is it coming to this??? Daughter: "Daddy, I am coming home to get married. Take out your check book. I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in California and he lives in New York. We met on a dating

Baldness Explained.

Baldness is often misunderstood, which is mainly due to a lot of hair roots filling the brain cavity. Our position on the evolution scale dictates that we should have no hair on our heads. That is why babies, in general, are born with little or no ha

The Way Some People Think

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

Good New Is Good News

This morning I woke up with wonderful news in my inbox. I got an email from the International FIFA World Cup Online Lottery informing me that I have won a large sum of money. The message read: Subject: FROM T

Bad Things To Tell Your Wife

A commercial boasted that its product could help people live ?pain-free in their golden years. “Am I in my golden years?” my wife, 63, asked. “Not at all,” I assured her. “But you are yellowing fast.”

Unhappy Golfer

A man lost an arm when his golf cart rolled over on him on a down slope. He became very depressed because he loved to play golf. One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide and end it all. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a

The New Boss (True Story)

If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this. Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all

An Old Geezer

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr. Geezer's clinic. "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor "Youn

Selfies

There was a good definition of age on Twitter the other day. Calculate your age by the number of selfies you take, divided by the number you instantly delete, multiplied by the number you eventually end up letting people see. It may work better f

Lake-Fake-A-Hachee

WHAT YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO! Pay attention....this could be you....! A few years ago, I moved into a retirement development on Florida 's southwest coast. I am living in the "Manasota/Englewood Beach Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club

WAY TOO fUNNY

Joke received today in email.... We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner & theatre evening. We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parrot and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local taxi co