Jan1305 Forum Posts (5,319)

RE: Who 'needs' a partner?

Hey Sommer, good thread.

I don´t need a partner to survive. I´m happy with my single life and good friends, although it took me a few years to reach this state of contentment after a long marriage.

I would however like to have a partner to be physically intimate with, regular lovemaking is sorely missed!

And, to provide a strong, comforting and masculine presence, which I do need from time to time. Independent I may be, but sometimes I just want somebody to hug me and stroke my hair. Soppy huh?

I also definitely need somebody to fix things around the house....I am absolutely useless! Fortunately I have a neighbour who is willing to do things occasionally, and a few male students who come to my house for classes have been known to fix the odd leaky tap!

A damsel in distress is quite appealing for most macho Spanish men.

RE: KIBUTZ LIVING ....

Do we have to share everything and each other in this EU online Kibbutz?

RE: How many dates have found online in the past year?

Well this is interesting. Several people have said their dates were not from here but from other sites.

Are these other sites local?

I too found that offers and interest was more frequent from a Spanish site I used to be a member of.

RE: How many dates have found online in the past year?

You see I too had seven dates during 2008/09 but I couldn´t possibly say here why I didn´t want to have a second date.

It´s not fair or polite for those who may be reading. They are all members, not regular contributors, but I know some read the forums.

RE: Are any of you making a long distance relationship work?

You´re right tumtum, perhaps 99 percent though!

It is lovely to hear of the one or two success stories, but taken into context, they are miniscule in comparison to the number of members here!

Most of us realise that...don´t we? We are here for the forums in the main, with the very faint hope that something may evolve.

Distance is a bar whatever people may say. It is just not feasible for somebody like me in Spain for example, to hook up with a Canadian, American, Australian etc.

Forums for fantasy and fun, real life for actual possibilities!

I say that as an on and off member of this site for almost 4 years.

Love songs for all you romantics.

More Elvis

Love songs for all you romantics.

Thanks Phoenix, and as we seem to be on an Elvis roll...

RE: mobile phone -how much is important ikn your life?

For a young man you´ve got some old fashioned notions kid!

My mobile phone is necessary for work, and if my family need to contact me if I´m not at home. I live in Spain, my family is in the UK, so they need to be able to contact me if the need arises.My students need to contact me if they have to cancel a class or are going to arrive late.

I dislike them though, and I refuse to get a contract phone, mine is pay as you go. More economical for me as I rarely use it to make calls, really only for receiving calls. My home phone is my lifeline.

RE: Do you think you're attractive (good looking)?

Of course it does, that´s the bottom line at the end of the day.

RE: Do you think you're attractive (good looking)?

Cheeky!

Ok.

RE: Do you think you're attractive (good looking)?

Yes I do think I´m attractive.

That´s not being big-headed, I´m certainly less physically atractive than I was when I was younger, but I´ve always been a pretty girl who turned heads....thanks to my gorgeous mum! And Spanish men seem to appreciate the more mature, attractive ladies too, so my self-confidence is boosted daily! I love living here!

More importantly though I am a very nice, loving person, who actually has never been too interested in looks. My friends always thought I was crazy when I danced or accepted dates with guys not perceived as classically good-looking.

However, people are attracted by different looks, personalities etc etc...a good thing as everybody gets to experience a little loving!

As Arizona Pat here always says, "love yourself above all".

RE: How to find the right woman/man?

a belt?

RE: What defines us in a relationship?

Well that´s the weird thing, he wasn´t, he never even looked at other women. He had only ever had two other relationsips, both long-term, but as I discovered later, his insane jealousy was the cause of the break-ups.

He was incredibly loyal and faithful, and I know that sounds strange, but it was true. Unfortunately, he was not able to trust, partly I believe because his father left his mother for another woman when he was young, virtually unheard of in Spain in those days. He became the father figure to six sisters.

He was 11 years older than me, which may also have a bearing on his possessiveness.

Quite crazy actually. I had to go to the courts in the end to stop him coming near me when I called time on the relationship.

RE: What defines us in a relationship?

Hello antcus, long time no see!

I don´t agree that marriage necessarily means being isolated from our friends. That certainly wasn´t the case for me, in fact this was only something I experienced after my divorce in a subsequent serious relationship which lasted 2 years. It was horrendous, the man was so jealous and persistently attempted to isolate me completely from anybody or anything he was not a direct part of. We did not live together, except the occasional weekend. but he had to know exactly where I was and what I was doing.

However, I do agree that it is difficult, but necessary to adapt and change somewhat after a long marriage or relationship. This is easier if both parties have agreed that the relationship is no longer working of course, as in my case.

Now I´m relatively happy being single, in fact I´m becoming more used to it. I have good friends and a social life so I am fortunate. However, I met somebody at 16, and was with him until my early forties, it was a crazy, exciting, extremely loving relationship for most of the time we were together (so much so that we married each other twice!) so being part of a couple is something I miss....but only sometimes!

RE: good women and wine

That sounds pretty good!

RE: How to find the right woman/man?

Who said that? There aren´t too many spring chickens here!

As for the OP, if we knew the answer we probably wouldn´t be here. After a very long, and for the most part extremely happy and loving marriage, I doubt if I can find that again. Especially as I´m no spring chicken either!

I am sorry you had a bad experience though. It´s not what people want to hear, and it just reinforces my own mistrust of online dating.

RE: Do you believe in that "everything happens for a reason"

´
Think you´re right kid. It´s also easier to blame the hand of fate or say something was destined to be, for crappy choices we make, rather than accept we were just plain stupid.

Hang on, I think that´s practically what you said wasn´t it...

RE: Are you shallow and hedonistic or deep and giving?

Oh Lago, don´t worry. I organised film nights for my students in Russia. One night we watched The Notebook. Big burly, vodka swilling, Russian men were weeping along with the ladies!

RE: good women and wine

Perfect Smoky, me too!

RE: Music talents ....

Marki, Cris has created a myth about me. I´ve never criticised your English.....have I?

I wonder if somebody will butcher a few chickens for me and scrub his feet with....a what?

RE: am fuming....

Same here in Spain.

I usually have Sunday lunch with my friends, and no matter which bar we end up at, if we are sitting outside, there is nearly always at least 20 minutes to wait for a drink.

My friends are Spanish and think nothing of it, but it still irritates me!

RE: blind date

".....was fairly thickset, had a cold...."

Loved that description shot.

RE: blind date

Wedy!!

Have you been drinking?

RE: How can you ever really know you are being duped?

Good morning Imma.

I know exactly how you feel, I too find it difficult to do the online trust thing.

In real life I trust easily, perhaps too easily, yet here it´s the opposite. My guard is always up, a good thing though, in order to avoid getting conned by what my definition of a scammer is....you know those wanting money, or a ticket to Europe.

I´m rarely contacted by real scammers strangely enough, but plenty of the other kind, those who like to play silly power games as Lago mentioned, and who are not really interested in a relationship. I don´t let it get further than a few emails though so I´ve never been hurt.

Maybe though, some who have contacted me here were genuine after all, and I should have been more trusting and gone with the flow

Even those I have actually met and had dates with, I never wanted to have a second date. Partly because the chemistry wasn´t there for me, but also because I´m just not comfortable with the whole online dating concept. I don´t think I ever will be....it´s silly I know. but that´s how I feel.

I´ve been told that I´m not really looking for a relationship and that I´m not ready yet. There could be some truth in that, and it may be one reason why I keep my little wall around me.

Time for coffee, then a couple of classes. Easy day for me today.

RE: why foreign women are better then american women

We´re lovely!

RE: why foreign women are better then american women

Same here matey!

Ok, please explain this to me.

aww you are cute, and pleasing on the eye too...

If I was a bit younger. You know, all the ladies think you are adorable, and a lovely, intelligent man.

para ti!

Ok, please explain this to me.

You´ve known me for eons kid.

RE: toyboy

And I´m a real feminist, but I found that I do need a man or a more able woman than me, after my divorce to fix things.

I am useless, really, I have no clue, and I´m not ashamed to say it!

Now, can somebody please come and look at the plumbing here?

RE: who are the three hottest cs'ers to you?Men/Women

Only one here is hot for me.

But I´m an so no names.