Newest Comedy Blogs (1,864)

I drink too much ...

Woke up this morning with the hangover from hell and a vague memory of kissing a camel who turned into the ugliest woman I'd ever seen. Bit of a relief to realize that was my last blog and trick photography. Boxing Day isn't even a blur, I might have

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One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” Bob’s wife, a

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. 'Hey, nice tie!' comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the barman to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it. 'Hey! Nice shirt!' The

My online seesaw relationship.... ...............

Which was more an on and off relationship A seesaw realationship Yet I stayed on too see how low can one steep And he steeped very low. So low he could sm

Christmas Hangover

So how's everybody here? What did I miss ? What did I miss here? I'm having a quiet time here...alone at home now, don't feel like seeing or talking to anyone...and don't feel like cleaning any Christmas mess all over the apartment...

How To Wrap A Present

It's FESTIVUS! For The REST OF US!

A Ghost of Festivus Past. Time to see some familiar faces - & remember some we've not seen in awhile. Or old faces with new names. Whatever. Happy Festivus '19, y'all Yep. December 23. Festivus - https://youtu.be/HX55AzGku5Y The mo

It's The Thought That Counts...NOT Always!

I'm NOT complaining...I just want to whine a little bit We've just had a little Christmas party at work...then we had that "Secret Santa" thing. The rule was you pick a name and buy him/her a gift not less than 15JDs, that's about $21. W

Humor.... in the Skies

Good for a chuckle.... Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from Londo

THE CREED OF THE CS BLOGGER

This is not original, it is adapted from the Creed of the Facebooker. I was struck by how much we have in common. I believe I know everything I believe everyone has the right to my opinion I believe everyone who does not share

WELLL! They Stuck Together!!

Christmas always has dinners here and dinners there from church's to homeless centers. I like to go to all of them. The food is free, delicious and someone has to eat it. So, I gladly volunteer! I went to our church luncheon for Senio

WHAT did you just say? ROFL

Talking in a different language can get you into embarrassing situations, we all know that. Mispronounce a word and oops ... different meaning. Then there are the comedians who teach you something that doesn't mean what they told you it means ...

Bill Clinton At The Pearly Gates

The scene: HEAVEN The year: 2031 President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven. "And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter. "It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and Lea

Remembering A Great Icon Of The Entertainment Comm

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy

I Do Feel A Little Sad When I can't Join The Blogs

So very busy at work these days...hardly have any energy left to organize my new place Had a little birthday-house warming party last Saturday, that was so much fun...got a new lovely set of bedroom furniture on Sunday- a very special hou

Getting older is odd

I was talking to a kid the other day and relating pretty well, I thought. I'm down with the yoof. This was a pretty young kid, and I asked how old he was. 8. He asked how old I was. I had to think about it, as always, then told him. He looked at me w

Made A Decision

I decided that my sex life needs some variety So I started using my other hand.

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Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde, new to boating was having problems. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22ft Bayliner to perform. It wou

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A blonde couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption ce

Donald Trump

Like him or hate him You have to admit, He sure does have a captivating Pizzazz, No doubt about it The Force is strong in this one.

Joke

Why do women close their eyes while having sex? They hate seeing a man enjoying himself.

Had to share........

Enjoy!!!! makes great stocking stuffers for Christmas

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANDYKISSES!

I want to wish one of the very nice ladies here on the blogs, a very, very Happy Birthday....CANDYKISSES! I wish you many, many more!!! Help me to celebrate her birthday!

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Mick and Paddy have made a promise to their uncle. They had an Uncle Seamus who was a seafaring gent all his life and a while before he passed away, he made the boys promise to bury him at sea. Of course he did pass away and the boys remembered to

Sands, this one's for you...

" A woman is a man's weakness but a man is a woman's strength" I'm out!!!! Life in jail rocks I was able to do a lot of things : run errands, sleep early, clean my new place...a little bit sick today but still

just me.....

hello ....

The Pastor's Cat

This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision of that poor cat just amuses me to no end. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in your day. Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his churc

So quite tonight on here...... lets stir it up a b

Hello

Last Words Of The Argument

My wife was screaming at me "Leave! Get out of this house", she ordered! As I was walking out the door she yelled "I hope you die a slow and painful death"!!! I turned around and replied "Ahh so you've changed your mind - so now you want me to

Keep your animals warm this winter

Girls Night Out

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for ho

Skinny-dipping anyone??

Ron, an elderly man in Florida, had owned a large farm with a big pond in the backyard for several years. The pond was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and citrus trees. One evening

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On a winter morning, a woman texts her husband "windows is frozen, what do I do?" Husband texts back "pour some luke warm water over it and gently tap the edged with a hammer." Wife texts back "computer really messed up now."

Dear Abby

Dear Abby, Tom, My husband hasn't worked for the last 14 years. All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies. I know he`s cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his granddaughters.

10 Rules For Men To Follow For A Happy Life

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home. 2. It's important to have a woman who cooks from time to time. 3. It's important to have a woman who keeps the house clean. 4. It's important to have a woman who has a job. 5. It's impo

kid's

I love reading these blogs. Remind me of infant school. Please please carry on making my day.

Hopping on Opportunity

A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it." The mangy guy says, "You're right. I don't have a lot of money. But. if I show you something terrific that you haven't se

Sunday night tired smiles

Pharmacist to customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription. Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough". A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – "Which

Power of the Pen vs The Sword

If the pen is mightier than the sword, why do actions speak louder than words? http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/joburg-home-owner-slashes-robber-with-sword-20151127 Pretoria - A house robber is in hospital after he was s

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The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they m

Words that end in ....man

If it can fly is SuperMan, if it can swim is AquaMan, If it can clim is SpiderMan,If it explote is a MusulMan, If it can......is a woMan. Please fill in the blank woth the correct word.