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Newest Humor Poems (1,868)

Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Newest, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.

The Last Thing

The Last Thing

Like fingernails scratching across the blackboard, that is how your voice sounds to me. You have the face of an angel and soft billowy breasts, narrow waist and curvaceous hips. I try to concentrate on these, almost succeed, then you speak again.

Candy Crush

"Candy Crush"

Mind boggling this invention. How has it captured my attention? Strangely I invest my time. Challenging my mind. New level, new venue for conquest. Fire burns within to surpass my friends in this contest. Dismay comes when lives are lost. Wait

Big mouth

Big mouth

Me and my big mouth! Now I bite the dust, Caught with my pants down, Now I've said too much.

Epitaph

Epitaph

Beneath this stone I reside Lived a long life, then I died Left behind a nagging wife Caused me nothing but strife R.I.P. Robin Graves http://photos.conn

Mathematics

Mathematics

I find it such a worry To have to work with numbers Some they say you have to add I suppose that’s not to bad But then what happens to the ones They say you must take away Do they end up in cyber space Sitting there so sad and lonely Or i

If I Could Be

If I Could Be

A bit of silliness

In The Jungle

In The Jungle

Let's celebrate unbirthdays

Verbosity

Verbosity

A bard I've always wished to be for words they always cherish me and bring to all a great delight when read with relish and foresight or glanced on briefly in despair or intoned softly at the fair or shouted to the world with glee in shades of

Do the chicken dance EpisodeII

Do the chicken dance. . . EpisodeII

At that moment the Quasar officer passed by, He made a U-turn and stop at The Dark man, What's in cosmic blazes going on here Son? The Dark man smirk back at The Enforcer and asked, Who wants to know this is a private bachelor party, Double M in

Do the Bogeyman Episode I Mark trilogy

Do the Bogeyman. . . . .(Episode I, Mark trilogy)

The Orion has arrived! On board the Flagship, RearAdmiral Mickael, Eternal Dark Man on the bridge, And his Ladyship PrincessLadyJewel, His bodyguard of a thousand blades! He came to tame and conquer the carrions, Blood sucking humanoids of t

Listen Son

Listen Son

I tell you son this tale I tell Is true as true can be Time was when dogs ruled And man was his pet He would take his man for walk And take him to the park There he’d make him throw a stick And play with a ball Man needs to be exercised

Good Morning Darling

Good Morning Darling

Good morning darling, how are you? What have you done to yourself For some reason you look especially ravishing That dainty drooling mouth And the large hanging slobb

Star Universe

Star Universe

just having fun in free verse

Egypt 1951

Egypt 1951

This is tongue in cheek write, when I was 19, I was sent to defend my countries interests in the Egyptian desert sands, far removed from England's green and pleasant land;

The Dance

The Dance

Just a little fun

LG

LG

I knew they had a life of their own

My Sweet Lover

My Sweet Lover

My sweet, sweet lover, how the stench of death clings to you. I dare not squeeze too hard lest a part of you falls off. Though the world may not like you, to you I

Rorschach

Rorschach

They seem to think by looking at inkblots they can tell what is 'wrong' with a person

The Tale of Isobella

The Tale of Isobella

Written for a contest ... A Twist With a Twist

The Day After Yesterday

The Day After Yesterday

There was a time when I was blind So I couldn’t hear them coming I tried to run for warning to give But I forgot my legs were missing I rode a goat who had no head But had to stop to milk it The bull gave birth to a lamb Who took off flying

I Must Have You

I Must Have You

Price: $9.7 million This fifteen foot Bugatti Royale is one of only six that were built. Its huge 12.7-litre engine was originally meant for use in aircraft, and it is one of the largest ever fitted into a car. This example was sold in 1987 during a Christie’s auction at the Royal Albert Hall in London.

Damaged goods

Damaged goods

A lil something lol

She Leaves

She Leaves.

Waiting on the platform as the train vibrates by.

Death In My Room

Death In My Room

There stood death in my room I must admit looking rather angry Tapping his feet to an unheard beat As I kept working on the PC He kept mumbling under his breath As he was waiting for me to finish Far be it for him to take me mid stride He wa

Eulogy For HD

Eulogy For HD

A bit of humour

Gone Fishing Part 2

Gone Fishing Part 2

Part 2, since it was too big to post all at once.

Gone Fishing Part 1

Gone Fishing Part 1

I wrote this to remind myself that sometimes a little patience is required before you find what you are looking for. :)

chocoholic SGs challenge

chocoholic ........SG's challenge

roast almond chocolate is pretty damn fine but then again the ferrero range is simply divine belgian chockies bring me smile so does cadbury's homely old style anything with nuts and raisins too or maybe caremello is chocolate true t

funny

funny :)

She stood there by the ocean, The breeze gently lifted her hair. Of that seagull just above her, She was totally unaware. Seemingly floating in the sky, The seagull’s wings were still. I think it paused to take good aim, And drop a mess at w

The Not So Perfect Woman

The Not So Perfect Woman

Here is a nonsense poem I have written, I hope you like this. Written: 6th July 2013

My other half

My other half

Just rolling some numbers around in my head...

I could tell

I could tell

This is actually the kind of crazy talk I've heard people say back in the 60's and early seventies. Lol.

the worst of times

the worst of times

Ummmmm Yeaaaaaa That was not a SHE OMG!!!

the best of times

the best of times

Had an itch, She voulunteered Oh that feels GOOD

I caught

I caught. . .

this is dedicated to Pink aka dejavu4u hope to give you the biggest gift that is to make you laugh

30 Seconds To Door Close

30 Seconds To Door Close.

Eyes connect

Luas Platform

Luas Platform.

Waiting at the bus stop.

He Asked She Asked

He Asked, She Asked.

Just waiting.

Next Stop

Next Stop.

Travelling on the (Luas). Our electric trams.

A Dublin Bus Station

A Dublin Bus Station.

Waiting in the bus station. A multitude of nations not seeing each other!.......

No Smoking

No Smoking.

Waiting in the bus station.

If Violets were Red

If Violets were Red

I've always pondered the great mysteries - one of which is: "if violets were red, and roses blue"

Poems entered on these pages are copyrighted by the authors who entered them. They cannot be reproduced without the author's written consent. © Copyright 2001-2024. All rights reserved.

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