The Ten Commandments?
I heard this comedy bit by George Carlin about the ten commandments. He pared it down to two. Thou shall be faithful to provider of thy nookie. Thou shall try really hard not to kill anybody, unless they pray to a different invisible god than the one you pray to.
Then God Said
I figure if God creates everything, then everything has to be created by him, kind of like Genesis continued.
De-seperated
Just humor
The Illinois Hillbillies
Parody of the Beverly Hillbillies. I have a friend who is always talking about winning the lottery. In this country it has become a kind of religion. I mostly despise gambling, preying on the dumb and uneducated. It does give people hope and it surpasses all other forms of entertainment in this country combined.
A Shadow Called Ego
Making a little fun of my shadow whom I affectionately call Ego..... :))
LIMERICK - MEASURED FAILURE
There are those amoung us !
More Predictions for the Future
This time trying my best to include as much of the world as I could in my predictions.
Would you have me for breakfast,lunch or dinner?
Pray tell what is your name? Cindy ,Wendy or Poison Ivy... What brings you a bit closer to me? My looks,charms or my amazing flab of fats!!! I drink a gallon of soft drinks ...and munch fifty kilos of meaty slab. And when I fart...it's more powerful
Zen decaf
Behold! A new decaf coffee on the market brewed especially for the poets 'muse', and packed with ingredients designed to create a sobering effect on the overly charged poetic pen and bringing true cosmic enightenment.. With this new Zen decaf
Predictions for the Future
Just having some fun with future telling. The Mayans had their shot and blew it, let's see how good I do. One of the funniest bits on this subject is by Dana Carvey on SNL. You can find it on SNL Collection: The Best of Dana Carvey.
Memories.
Thinking back
The Corn Message
A cloud ran over to a mountain And whispered to the trees, Rain is on the way Set your mind at ease The trees whispered through the valley Down to the stream Rain is on the way Don't be feeling low Got it straight from a cloud Just telli
Cash Flow
If there's anything else you think of Let me know Do you want me to write you another check Since you changed your name to cash flow The times we live in All about money and sin And do it all over again And where ever yo go You gotta have
The Bar Scene!
I often wonder why women go to the bar alone? Lol
New Zealand Merry Christmas Wishes!
Tis just JimEee, the Wally!
"The Runaway Handbag?"
a mixed bag! I'll have the Pineapple lumps, thank you!!
What's Your Elf Name? (Look and see!!! :))
Little Holiday Fun... (This was taken from an untitled web source)
Last tango on the roof
'Dont' make me go! I won't, I won't! 'We'll hide the coffee, if you don,t, you don't!' 'You'll string up those lights on that roof so high You'll climb for hours til you reach the sky! But no one knew better what this day had meant than Hiss
10 Cents a Dance!
Ten tickets please!
GOOD MORNING!
lol....just a few of my thoughts on that Mayan calendar thing..... Lots of love to everyone and a merry christmas and happy new year to you all...whether you know me or not!......Andrew...xxx
tHe EnD oF tHe WorLD
Written about all the hype around the ending of the world as we know it foretold by the many sources from around the world for 21/12/12 or if you're in America 12/21/2012.
Judge Judy
You folks have been sworn in and can be seated. Your contract for babysitting services have been null and void. Wipe that silly grin from your face you’re making me annoyed! I’ve read you’re statement now look in my eyes! I can tell by you
She Who Lives In a Cave
I once knew a Lady who lived far away In the hillside a cave her abode On her knees she would pray every day Send someone for me to love Up on a charger rode a knight It was the one with a massive V8 For you my Dear a dragon I’ll fight And t
Its not because
I like a woman and a man, am I a gay? Can it just be for love and the other is for friendship? You commended me, I appreciated. Asking for more..I cant. Angry? never drag me. Just stop! enough I am not who you think I am. Its not because...You
Note in my diary
Note in my diary I must remember, the world comes to an end on the 21st of December No months of Turkey and no Christmas pud, now that sort of news has got to be good I wish I had known earlier on, I wouldn’t bought presents for everyone
billy done run wild
soomebody stop me...
12/12/12 ... 12:12:12pm
Today is the day. The same as the year , as well as the month. 12/12/12 Dont forget the time will duplicate the act with it's hour,minute and second... 12:12:12pm so special is this I would say,
SWEET TAXPAYER
TEN LINES POEM
BRIEF POETRY
Listen, I never tire of writing poetry at home, at work and in the library in the morning I take off my blanket and I inspire myself in the supermarket
World Atlas
I was laid on my mattress thumbing through a World Atlas Telling my son of all the places I’d been and all the things I had seen I told him of my time in the Himalaya and how there I had met a dragon slayer How he had taught me, all that he knew a
Letter from school
Dear sir or madam Please could you come to the school with your Adam. He was sat at the back of the class, showing his things to a young lass. Adam then put his hand in his pocket and pulled out unbelievable sized rocket. Now I do have say, it s
We all know someone like this
This was not based on my friend Fred in anyway shape or form :-)
Contemplating my navel
I was contemplating my navel with all the power I saw able Why is it in the middle of my stomach? To this I am quite flummoxed Why does mine seem to go in? Is it because I am so thin? I know of some that stick out, pregnant women this they seem
Cabernet Sauvignon
Just playing with words and picked this out whilst in the kitchen "Cabernet Sauvignon" :-)
News Flash
Why does this stuff always come when i am busy?
Goedln Rlue
Funny what the brain can do even when something is wrong :-)
Children playing
Watching my children playing Listening to what they are saying My dad is bigger than yours! Mine doesn’t make me do chores! My dad knows superman My dad is secretly Spiderman My dad can fly in the sky Mine can jump just as high Listen with a
Confused
Hate xmas rapping
Freight in the night
Don't know where this one came from?....lol
Forty something
Don't you just hate looking in the mirror...lol
Barking dog, croaking frog
just playing about with the kids
It's a Wonderful Fishing Trip?
Mixing a parody I saw on Saturday Night Live about the movie It's A Wonderful Life. In the movie Mr. Potter never gets punished for stealing the 8,000 dollars from absent-minded Uncle Billy. In another SNL parody, Dana Carvey playing George Bailey gets a mob together to beat up Mr. Potter. "I don't want the money, I want a piece of you!"