Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Most Liked, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
I have been thinking.....
Really though does anyone else out there think the Easter Bunny and the Toothfairy are in cahoots of sorts? Or as i like to call the Toothfairy, the body parts mafia! Well i mean you lose your teeth at first as a young child but hey there is it.... money. What do children love to buy? CANDY! Oh yes that sugary goodness that makes your teeth fall out! It is like a never ending cycle. If that doesn't sound like some partnership i don't know what is.
You have disappointed me Mr Peter Cottontail to the fullest. In the end i hope the Toothfairy keeps you happy and keeps your secret on how you really sh*t out those chocolate eggs.
So very heartbroken,
Ginny
PS So don't come hoping down my bunny trail with your tricks. If you do, do it at your own risk as you may become bunny stew. So fluff off!
You have disappointed me Mr Peter Cottontail to the fullest. In the end i hope the Toothfairy keeps you happy and keeps your secret on how you really sh*t out those chocolate eggs.
So very heartbroken,
Ginny
PS So don't come hoping down my bunny trail with your tricks. If you do, do it at your own risk as you may become bunny stew. So fluff off!
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Posted: Mar 2015
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METRO P.C.S.
WHAT A MESS! I WAS DISCONNECTED ON MY CALL TO, DONALD TRUMP; NONE, THE LESS! SAVE, YOUR BANK STATEMENTS, FOR THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY, I COULD PROVE; I MADE A PAYMENT! IF YOU HAVE A SMARTPHONE, YOU WILL BE CHARGED; THE FULL AMOUNT! WHETHER YOU, USE IT OR NOT, YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY; OR BE DOWN, FOR THE COUNT! OVERALL; IT'S A GOOD PHONE SYSTEM, TO KEEP! ALTHOUGH, WHEN YOU RECEIVE THE BILL; IT MAKES YOU WEEP! GOD LOVE, METRO P.C.S. FOR IT'S THE ONLY COMPANY, THAT ALLOWS YOU; HEAVENLY ACCESS!
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Posted: Mar 2015
About this poem:
INSPITE OF LITTLE MISSHAPS; I STILL FIND IT; THE BEST ON THE MARKET!
Being New
Being new on the site is like a little baby geeting a fright..
Ya dream of wine and dine..ya dream of a lady dressed devine..
but instead reality kicks in and with so many proflies it seems ya just cant win..
To be alone is gods great sin..
Messed around with a girl in an alley way once..think we did it on top of a bin..
Some girls think I'm cute with my irish chin..
thats not to mention my cheeky grin..
If your out there and listening...
I need your put in..
Ya dream of wine and dine..ya dream of a lady dressed devine..
but instead reality kicks in and with so many proflies it seems ya just cant win..
To be alone is gods great sin..
Messed around with a girl in an alley way once..think we did it on top of a bin..
Some girls think I'm cute with my irish chin..
thats not to mention my cheeky grin..
If your out there and listening...
I need your put in..
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Posted: Apr 2015
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THAT BOOK YOU STOLE
Do not steal this book my lad,
For fifty cents it cost my Dad.
And if you die ,the Lord will ask,
" Now , where is that book you stole?"
And you would say, "I do not know".
The Lord will say, "Just step below".
For fifty cents it cost my Dad.
And if you die ,the Lord will ask,
" Now , where is that book you stole?"
And you would say, "I do not know".
The Lord will say, "Just step below".
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Posted: Apr 2015
About this poem:
Found in 1924 Algebras text book.Author unknown.
I wonder
I wondered lonely to find a star,
Through my telescope I could not find,
The one with the twinkiest grin,
That dazzled me like a diamond,
Reflection in my eyes,
Glittering teardrop s.
I say my goodbye,
But I think your just hiding and feeling shy,
David Blaine told me star shooting love hearts,
Engraved ,
I love those love hearts,
They used to sell them in the shop,
Now star has brought them back,
Oh sweet star wherever you are ,
Shining and lets play hide and seek,
Call next week
Through my telescopic mic robotic telescope,
Peach.
Through my telescope I could not find,
The one with the twinkiest grin,
That dazzled me like a diamond,
Reflection in my eyes,
Glittering teardrop s.
I say my goodbye,
But I think your just hiding and feeling shy,
David Blaine told me star shooting love hearts,
Engraved ,
I love those love hearts,
They used to sell them in the shop,
Now star has brought them back,
Oh sweet star wherever you are ,
Shining and lets play hide and seek,
Call next week
Through my telescopic mic robotic telescope,
Peach.
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Posted: Apr 2015
About this poem:
Influenced by a astronomic bionic visitation,Don't tell the pope,
7 DAY FORECAST
JUST ANOTHER SUNDAY; I HOPE SOON; IT WILL BE MONDAY! HERE COMES TUESDAY; JUST ANOTHER, BLUESDAY! HELLO, WEDNESDAY; TIME TO MEET NEW FRIENDS DAY! THURSDAY; I PASS THE HOURS AWAY! FRIDAY; THE WEEKENDS IN SITE, ALRIGHT! AT LAST, IT'S SATURDAY; I DON'T WORKOUT, AND I CAN EAT; WHATEVER I WANT,AND ENJOY A DRINK; BEFORE SUNDAY; PUTS ME, ON THE BRINK!
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Posted: Apr 2015
About this poem:
A TYPICAL WEEK IN MY LIFE!
I Eat Peaches
I eat peaches for breakfast one before brunch an 3 before dinner an 4 before lunch I eat peaches on my way to school on the dive and into the pool people call me a peach eating fool I eat peaches here I eat peaches there I think there's peaches coming out of my ears an now there's peach juice dripping on my chair I do care ill eat peaches any were cos I eat peaches
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Posted: Apr 2015
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BEYOND THE VEIL
EVERYTHING IN LIFE HAS A VEIL
.AN ATOM IS VEILD BY ITS ORBIT.
A CELL IS VEILD BY ITS MEMBRANE.
AN EGG IS GAGED IN ITS SHELL.
A SEED IS VEILD IN ITS SHELL.
THE TEETH IS VEILD BY THE LIPS.
THE EYES BY THE LIDS
THE SUN, VEILD IN THE SKY FROM WHERE IT RISES EACH DAY
HONEY IS VEILD IN THE HONEY COMB.
THE RAIN, VEILD IN THE CLOUDS.
A SPOT IN THE DOT, BEGINS THE FOETUS WONDERFULLY VEILD IN THE UTERUS AWAI TING THAT GLORIOUS MOMENT TO UNVEIL ITSELF TO MOTHER EARTH
AS PRECIOUS STONE VEILS OFF ITS IMPURITIES IN THE KILN
BEFORE IT SHINES
AND AS THE TAMED ANT BUILDS ITS OWN MUNDHILL,
SO SHALL ANYONE UNVEIL HIS OWN DESTINY IF ONE BE REKNOWN.
.AN ATOM IS VEILD BY ITS ORBIT.
A CELL IS VEILD BY ITS MEMBRANE.
AN EGG IS GAGED IN ITS SHELL.
A SEED IS VEILD IN ITS SHELL.
THE TEETH IS VEILD BY THE LIPS.
THE EYES BY THE LIDS
THE SUN, VEILD IN THE SKY FROM WHERE IT RISES EACH DAY
HONEY IS VEILD IN THE HONEY COMB.
THE RAIN, VEILD IN THE CLOUDS.
A SPOT IN THE DOT, BEGINS THE FOETUS WONDERFULLY VEILD IN THE UTERUS AWAI TING THAT GLORIOUS MOMENT TO UNVEIL ITSELF TO MOTHER EARTH
AS PRECIOUS STONE VEILS OFF ITS IMPURITIES IN THE KILN
BEFORE IT SHINES
AND AS THE TAMED ANT BUILDS ITS OWN MUNDHILL,
SO SHALL ANYONE UNVEIL HIS OWN DESTINY IF ONE BE REKNOWN.
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Posted: Apr 2015
About this poem:
SOMEONE WALKED UP TO ME AND SAID THAT LIFE WAS FULL OF OBSCURITIESMY ADVICE WAS THE CONTENT OF 'BEYOND THE VEIL
Caught
one day with my heart beating out of chest speeding behind with all the rest officer pull me aside and I said to him but offer I was not the only one speeding an he just pull out his pad an pen and said with a grind son' have you ever gone fishing ? lol an I drove away thinking man ill never speed again hahaahahahah
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Posted: Apr 2015
Post CommentJim
An accident happened to my brother Jim
When somebody threw a tomatoe at him
Tomatoes are soft and usually don't hurt the skin
But this one a 'specially packed in a tin! :-)
When somebody threw a tomatoe at him
Tomatoes are soft and usually don't hurt the skin
But this one a 'specially packed in a tin! :-)
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Posted: May 2015
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