Most Liked Humor Poems (1,865)

Fabulously, frilly, fabrics found
fit fullest feminine figures,
Finnicky, fancy facials for
fairest faces, flaunting,
Frizzled follicles flowing
from flamboyant ,
flirtatious females,

Fancy footwear,
Flowers....fuchsia, freesia,
Finest feathered feast,
for family friends,
Failing financial flareup,
frustrated father faints,
Fanatical fairytale fantasy
finally fulfilled.

You never know if its a
swish or a swash
If its a twirl or a swirl
A hippy move or a
seductive grove
Is it a naughty look or
a closed book
Her big toe balancing
her red highheel
Or a teasing test to
see how you feel
A flip of the hair in
the morning breeze
has brought many a
King to his knees
But those painted nails
and flashy eyes
Hath rendered this mortal
male to languished sighs..

where are my glasses?

aha! at last I found you

sitting on my nose

Jaw shuts, teeth crunch Ritz
Mouth savors flavor Ritz melts
Hint of salt remains

Ok, class, settle down
Let’s get started
Jim
Stop with the clown
This is writing art
Today’s topic is
“Tasteful Ecstasy”
Who can give me a definition?

Joe go
“Something that tastes good”
That’s interesting, no
Jan what’s your answer
“Zombies have ecstasyplasm
but I don’t think its tastes good”
Uh, not at all understood!
Yes, Gg
“Does it mean Oh-la-la”
Sit down please
That’s a ha hah ha
Jeanie and Odette
May I remind you
So you don’t forget
This is a credit class
Please don’t overdo
Cat are you laughing?
Or are you just acting?

Has anyone even read
Tongue and Groove?
Unless you have read
The work by CJ Two
You won’t understand
This conceptual breakthrough

Dr. Galore is coming now
To help define just how
The mind of this author
Without attacking
Any mental lacking
Came up with the concept
Of “tasteful ecstasy”

Settle down please
Without further adieu
Lets have a round of applause
For Dr. Wussy Galore
She has a piled higher and deeper
Ooops, I have to take this
It’s my beeper

­
Maxillae the Skeleton
was looking for a date
Being rather fussy
she had to be the perfect Vertebra
Flat Rib Cage and absolutely no meat
No rounded bottom defining a padded seat
Maxillae the Skeleton
liked a bit of bone


­
He did meet Ulna
A female Skeleton like himself
She was very humerus,with a tiny little mouth
As he kissed her on the Ossicle
She said that really tickles
On making love the Skeletons
got in a great big pickle
A noise that would even
wake up the dead open minded
While they Grinded and Grinded
Bone to Bone
Collapsing with a drone

­

Seventy maidens from CS castle
broke through enemy lines
They slew the guards of the sleeping
monarch..
They took the kings spoils with all
his golden treasures
They took Philistine spears and
shields
They took the latest Pyramid high heels
which helped women walk like an Egyptipn
They stole the queens pink panties
Then they entered the tent of the sleeping
monarch and clipped and snipped until
he was clipless and snipless
For they were merely following the ancient
saying, 'For she who weilds a heavy clipper,
shall emerge as royal Queen of the snipper.'
So the CS maidens bound him hand and foot
They followed to the letter the propheticbook
They paraded him through the city making
mockery and sport
They even stripped him of his boxer shorts
The lockless one did bow and kneel as half
naked maidens shouted,'How does that feel?
They tied him between pillars of stone
O, those naughty maidens did make him moan
So they teased and tickled for a month and
a day
Til the lockless monarch said,'O, behave!

Shadow people seen
Tall dark figures on the wall
Is this just a dream?

They look pretty good
I wonder if they are real
Company for me

In the morning light
They leave very silently
To return at night

Now I wait on them
To appear and play with me
Secrets are such fun!

No more do I wish to see
False friends and fake family
Stay away from me
You leaders of hypocrisy
Was a time I bought your lies
Swallowed hook sinker and line
And if you gave me chance I nearly swallowed the pole
But now I know, Now I am awake
And if you think you can catch me
Go jump in the lake
Coming around to see what you could get
Money, land, house et al
I have no use for parasites
They are just to burn
Give me kerosene and a light
I'd just as soon help you to hell
Than let you feed off my wealth
I give to the poor
I feed the hungry
Clothe the naked and help the sick
And if I go to hell myself
At least I'll know you got none of it.

If you're reading this chances are that
the number 'six' married your aunt Sue
because she fed her third grade homework
to a Cat named X'forty 2..
If you're scratching your back all green and
purple insects in your backyard will run
for congress
Bending your mind around unwashed dishes
will no longer work in the 45th dimension
You must eat marshmallows cultivated on
the planet Saturn, and if you're lucky eight
chickens will prepare you for incubation
What you thought can't think out the thing
that a thankless thank you thought could
think
Consider this.. 223-402-**@Lillytown.com
This is your passport to the fourteen realties
that are stacked behind your back but no one
cared enough to tell you about it..
Therefore..and of course the word 'therefore,'
has just run off with your can of tomato soup
In the 45th dimension you are an 'R.'
Eat well and ride a tree branch to victory!