Most Liked Humor Poems (1,865)

Tick me off again
And see the flare of my pen
Once I could say naught
Now I can say and not be caught

So it's up to you gang up on the side you want
But think now and then
Before you tick me off again
Hesitate before you say amen

Years have passed so leave it at that
You see where it's at
It's at the flare of my pen
So tick me off again

Long ago I sent lara croft a friend request on face book I got turned down
Long ago I dedicated a song to her at karaoke
It was called ocean front property
I guess I guess lara croft doesn't like me

Well after two strikes I said that was the end
Besides if the girl I really like
Ever found out oh lara croft I'm really out on a limb

Once at karaoke I had the stage name of Elvis Mustang
But the dj was to embarrassed to announce it
And lara croft never got to meet elvis mustang but that's ok
The girl I really like doesn't know about this I'd like to keep it that way

I could stop and let you think this was all made up
But it happens to be true and so it goes
Elvis mustang had a short career
So be careful with face book and karaoke that's all I know

Always like that
That's what they say about him
But why do they get so mad
Oh were they always like that

Just what has he done
Has he hurt anyone
Why do they make fun
Or were they always like that

Some people are the jury
Some people are the judge
Some people have all the fury
And some people will never budge

Why do they hate
Why won't these chains break
Why does everyone but me carry a rake

Can you keep it under your hat
What I write might be read
It has to be like that
Cause what I really want to say can never be said

When you write something down
Their answers have to wait
And that's good cause right now
I'm the only horse out of the gate

Some people may have hissed
If they are still reading this
They are no longer sitting where they sat
And for them it has never been like that

Well who gave me all this to say might be up for debate
He's always like that
But since you no longer sit where you sat
I think it all sounds great

And as the choir sang
Bowed heads from the congregation hang
How fast their hearts were beating oh what a pace
And still mad at who won the race
Oh it was that crazy elvis mustang

I have a neighbor I'll just call him neighbor ned
When I was seven or eight he hit me over the head
It was a short 2by4 but tap tap tap went neighbor ned

You see he had an intelligent plan
And with that 2by4 in his hand
And what no one till now has ever read
He wanted to prove that little boy was a gourdhead

So years later what he though was just empty space
Have a few words in there and he can't delete or erase
To my brothers he was good but to me not so
And now that you see neighbor ned stop by and say hello

My name is Tom Fiddlebox,
I have lost my colored socks.
I married a fox,
But she turned out to be an ox.
My name is Tom Fiddlebox,
I work on broken clocks.
I saw a fish, who talks,
It sank my boat out on the docks.
My name is Tom Fiddlebox,
I took my money to buy some stocks.
Instead I ended up with bag of rocks.
Which, I bought from a man name Freddy Cox.
My name is Tom Fiddlebox,
I went to a farm to see the flocks.
After the farm I went to see some hawks,
But instead I got beat up by a bunch of jocks.
My name is Tom Fiddlebox,
I went to visit it the fox that, really was an ox.
She stays at zoo now where she breaks rocks.
It’s not too far just a few blocks,
When I got home I ended up with the chicken pox.
Life hadn’t been to kind for I am only Mr. Tom Fiddlebox.

Kato had some playdough
He made a pink panther
And took him to his school

All the kids gathered around
Made a happy sound
They thought pink panther playdough was cool

They did a pink panther dance
And when the teacher got the chance
She took them all outside
They put him on the swing and they put him on the slide
Kato was beaming with pink panther playdough pride

The bell rang kato put him on the bus and everyone was feeling great
Till the driver slamed on his breaks pink panther was spinning around
Flew out the window and under the tire now he's flattened on the ground

All the kids cried bus driver wanted to hide
Through his mirror he saw pink panther make his last slide
It was a sad day when pink panther playdough got dusty fried

Dear Deer, You are more Dear to me than a deer in the Forest



There you go

Dum ~ Dum ~ Dee ~ a ~

Dum ~ Dum ~ Dee ~ a ~

Hear the kids at play ~

It says to all have a wonderful Day ~

It’s just a simple tune and yet!

It wishes glad tidings to all that hears

One can visualize a marching band

Of children big & small

At the head of the ragged orphans is a skinny cheer

leader girl

Twirling a baton followed by a child

Banging a tin can like a drum.

One boy makes like he has a tuba …. going oompa,

oompa!

Another child makes like he is playing a trombone

A little girl is using a stick as if it were a flute

They enjoy the simple things of life

Would you like to join our band and be young again!

We need someone to ring the marching bells or play

The tambourines ~

Dum ~ Dum ~ Dee ~ a

Dum ~ Dum ~ Dee ~ a

Remember the good old days my friend

For like all good things they soon will end ~

The Leader of the Band
JimEee

Macri es el presidente
Macri es un gato
Tiene bigotes
Y el pelo blanco

Macri gato
Afeitate el bigote
Pareces puto
Y me das asco

Macri gato
Presidente malo
Tiene olor a culo
Y cara de pelotudo

Macri chupate una polla
Viejo sorete de mierda
Neoliberalistas
Vayanse todos a la mierda

Always saw the lights
weathered words or
moonlit
nights

As different colours

spread so at ease


A thought of silence
a working


insight to see
could it be me?


Nope
yet a little ant

reveling my rant

coursing my way
back