Most Liked Humor Poems (1,865)

cambridge on a sunny morn
a professor deep in thought
a quasi quantum quandary
his mind now overwrought

now the kernel of dilemma
the cause of his unease?
with fish and chips for dinner..
should I go with mushy peas?

symbiotic clarity
coupled with his fate
yet the "mushyness" of peas
was abhorrent to his plate

order over chaos
his findings quite profound
yet a theorist
must work backwards
to a premis pure and sound

he expressed it as a formula
elegant in tone
he wrote it on a post-it note
and hung it by the phone

twenty minutes later
his mobile broke the breeze
and a tired gruff glaswegian cried:
" I canna read Chinese!"

to a five penny piece
I shrunk to the size
as life made me hard
in the head and eyes

so pressed ganged was I
on a leathery ship
that lived in a pocket
on the side of her hip

and life wasn't easy
and life wasn't hard
it was tough bedding down
neath a sharp credit card

a religious medal
and I became mates
and we sung drunken songs
in between great debates

I dated a quarter
but often she snoozed
we laughed at the condom
that never got used

she took us to parties
she lost us in clubs
she found us in drawers
she drank us in pubs

a lipstick for pillow
I smiled at the fates
my blanket a dollar
she got in the states

when the end came
it was cold.. hard and clean
that's how I got here
in this vending machine

Come late, late in the evening
my candle burn down low
Come late, late in the evening
my candle burn down low
we all got peace back in the barnyard baby
the day you decided to go

I took your suitcase to the station
the train had two lights on behind
I took your suitcase to the station
the train had two lights on behind
both red and blue for you baby
'cos you're finally off my mind

Sometimes, nothing means more!

I woke up this morning,
I'm glad that I did,
but what a suprise!!!!!

And Taylor wrote, "When heaven intends to do some mighty thing, he makes a poet - or at least a King, and those that deny will find the way, by wondrous accident perchance one may,
Grope out a needle in a load of hay;
And though a white crow be exceedingly rare,
A blind man may, by fortune, catch a hare.

Or ride a horse in quarantine, no covid-19!

And tomorrow will be, oh yes, with or without you or me, its strange to see, such continuity, but that is the way, come what may, when playtime ends, it's goodbye my friends.

I don't want to play this numbers game, life has changed, its not the same, only yesterday I was 2 and 1, where the hell has that gone?, Woke up today, what can I say, I'm now 6 and 1, that didn't take long, so I suppose tommorrow will be the same for you and me, I wonder , can we deduct 2 or 3, or minus -- it all, before we fall, into negative equity, unfortunately, its not up to you or me. The End.

If there is an art to writing or poetry, it comes from the heart not what you see, and all lifes troubles and happiness, are all laid bare, more or less, thats a wonderful gift given to few, the ability to express the real you, in words and thymes, to let it all go, especially in these trying times, I read your words and try to see, understand the meaning what it could be, its sometimes encoded, but its all I need to imagine its me!
So, I'll mention a few, Abby1963, thank you for being complimentary to me, and EXRED3, Just like Abby your comments were nice to see, then we have Oceanzest, so hard to rhyme, I'll take a rest, before I compliment him on his poetry, well done you three.
And soutmiamia4321, I reflect on your comments,well done.
So, this is just to acknowledge you all, and if I dont comment,I'm homeless again, didn't pay my rent. (just joking) There's more that I missed, ,,,,,,,,,,, so,,, I'd like to thank mr and mrs ,,,,,,,,, for getting me here,,, winning this award is just soo special to me,,,I'd like to thank my family,,, Joe Bloggs, the bus driver who let me off outside, its all been a great ride.
Bye for now, see you again, beam me up Scotty,,,,,,,,,,Scotty,,,?,,,where did you go Scotty?,,,


Postcript: This speech did not use any Que cards, I am solely responsible,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Scotty?,,,Scotty?,, where the hell are you?,, get me outta here quick!

Thunder claps
come down the hall
outside the rain
begins to fall

the raincoat hangs
upon the stand
for events like these
that come unplanned

into the street
I like to stroll
to see Mrs Toad
and Mr Mole

they live quite handy
down the road
in a typical suburban
humble abode

Mole will serve up
tea and jam
while Mrs Toad
prepares the ham

We talk of family
and local news
and trifling nothings
that do amuse

Better friends
are hard to find
they're a fitting tribute
to animal-kind

By 7 pm
I'm on my way
the rain has gone
for another day