Most Liked Humor Poems (1,865)

So the Russians are on our shore, monstrous entity too big to IGNORE, and we will float out with our toys, pretend we are bigger, lies, we are just tiny,, little one fishing trawler,, ok,,, we know you are taller, you go away,,, and Ill have nothing to say, or we will send the wives,,, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Close to dawn well before

the first slivers of sun

you already foresaw

with a shiver of glee

what a wonderful day

it was going to be


so why do a repeat?


Because towards twilight

there'll be double-delight

in the proof that you were

indisputably right !

What good are all your millions Joe, if you have to pee and you can’t go!

So, the apples didn't grow this year?,Does it matter anyway, lose the fear, you can never ever stay here, the apples will reappear, when you are gone, but,,,,,,,,,,,,, you WILL be near, because you never really disappear, and all your love will not be lost, because there is no cost, no price to pay, let me just say, your apple tart, will ALWAYS remain within my heart, because I KNOW you meant to please,,, UNFORTUNATELY, those damm tarts gave me coronary disease, so, I'll just go,, still love you, so you know.

This is the dawning of
the Age of Aquarius, Age of Aquar...
..scratch.. enough of that record..
lets see, mmm Beach Boys..
Lets go surfing now, everybody's learning how....
..better.. uplifting...
hmm poetry time

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For the good thing he's found

hmm sounds familiar, must have been done, lets try again

Baby, let's cruise, away from here
Don't be confused, the way is clear
And if you want it you got it forever
This is not a one night stand

... like it, surely that's original...

You'll never find, as long as you live
Someone who loves you tender like I do
You'll never find, on the graveyard shift
any dinner options, that aren't stew
doesn't take no imagination baby
to put together, some Mexi beans, yeah
whoa, whoa whoa whoa

enough rambling

where were we, ah yes serious poetry

Love for a Spanish girl

midnight in Madrid
castanet
bullfight dawn
the day we met
dark dark dark
gypsy eyes
moving like a tigress
flamenco cries
sailing like Columbus
on your ocean blue
take me around the world
such delights we knew

enough!

Marigolds in June can thrive, its Cosmos that do survive, in April and May, who knows what to say, but certain roses bloom all year round, Chantilly Lace shows its grace, but Cinnamon Snow is the way to go. I think, well, it's swim or sink!

At twenty one and twenty five, you wonder who will be alive, at forty one and forty five, you just don't know who will thrive, at fifty one and sixty one, you wonder why you're not gone!

The art of communication has changed, rearranged, instead of "I said", its now, "I was like" instead of " I said back" it's "I turned around and said", so they are constantly turning around (for no reason) being like something (for no reason) and THEY are going to be the leaders of our world? No rhyme, no time, its all gonna be over soon.

they used to bang it
working the corn at all hours
it rippled through the neighbouring walls
so even the dogs couldn't sleep
now they are gone
I lie awake at night
and all I can hear
are the juju chants of a Belgian sausage-maker

Everyday I go down and read to the pigeons. We have an agreement. I read to them and I take one home for dinner.

Pigeon 1: “look it’s that tuned loony who thinks we understand English!”

Pigeon 2: “I thought he was talking to himself?”

Pigeon 1: “no it’s definitely us”

Pigeon 2: “we should be able to speak English by now, he keeps reading the same fffing page from his book!”

Pigeon 1: “hang on a minute... that’s not a book he’s reading to us... it’s a menu!”

Pigeon 2: “why is he reading us a menu??”

Me: “anyone hungry ???!”

Pigeon 1: “??...

Pigeon 2: “jokes on him we’ve already eaten!”

Pigeon 1: “where’s the rest of our band? We’re four pigeons shy of a full canter?”

Pigeon 2: “I haven’t seen the others since this dastardly muttley start turning up?”

Pigeon 1: “something Isn’t right here. This dizzy sherbet arrives at dawn everyday fattening us up on bread while he has pigeon a la carte!”

Pigeon 2: “stale bread!”

Pigeon 1: “stale as a loaf capsized from the ancients!”

Pigeon 2: “what makes you think he even eats pigeon?”

Pigeon 1: “well he talks to pigeons walks like a pigeon and with that haircut he’s starting to look like a pigeon”

Pigeon 2: “I’m scared”

Pigeon 1: “get a grip we’re pigeons not chickens!”

Pigeon 2: “is this war?”

Pigeon 1: “this Isn’t war. This is “Saving Pigeon Ryan!”

Pigeon 2: “what we gonna do?”

Pigeon 1: “shit on his menu and find a new location!”