Most Liked Humor Poems (1,865)

Let me take you
down the Silk Road,
The flyer said..
A slide show ...
A space age experience.

Wipe out the memories
of bygone days?:
The unfortunate
paid the price of a free meal ,
Pending hangover,
Babies crying ,
Sleep desperate,
The upside down,
The chopped heads,
The missing subject,
The double slide,
The jammed viewer.
But Sylvia promises
so much more;
And so ,
With knapsack Moderne,
AND emergency pack..
As daughter called it,
Pecked cheek.
Visions of a muffin sweet ...

Room packed, tension high ..
Only a back row perch ,
But here she is,
all eyes affixed.
Off we go from Kingsford Smith...
But drama unfolds as
Marrakesh and images ,
Two hundred in point two seven ,
Too fast for senior vision,
Flash by.
Hands to mouth,
The dreaded curse;
Bearded Raleighs leap to aid
one disbelieving Sylvian Maid.
But above the din,
A ring steps in,
Of a persistent cell,
Like an angry bell:
This I hate ,
Boo! Philistine! ,
Don't spoil Sylvia's fun,
or mine.
But then my ears perceive ..
Oh no not ME?
As I realise
with pounding heart ,
My muffin rings
but where's it at?
Scramble for pockets this, that.
Rise, turn, bag aboard ,
And head for safety,
The corridor door .
Outside it's pitch,
Please a switch..?
In vain.
Then silence.
I'm in the store!....
For chairs...
Warmed by Rear Sir Walters galore:
No light, no hope, forlorn despair .
Deep breath,
Re-enter the ambient air,
Of the repaired Silk Road;
Faces stern suppressing mirth:
No muffin no show,
Sadly, I go.

DG 2014

Open,honest. OH
Affectionate, Happy AH
Unassumeing, Mysterious. UM
Hopefull, Attetive. HA

Smart, Exciting, SE
Soft, Organized. SO
Surrealist, Aesthete. SA
Moxie, Ecclectic. ME

Amorus, Natural. AN
Youthful, Upbeat. YU
Benificent, Eager BE
Omniacent, Nonchalant, Equal. One

You never let me down
You're always around
Whether I'm up or down
You can always be found
You keep me in line
Even keep my time
No matter what look
Comes across my face
You always keep
Me at pace
You make me wet
From sweat
You make my heart beat fast
Sometimes your're a blast
My breathing gets heavy
My legs are on fire
I feel so tired
Aaa ,my time has expired !

I always felt the lust flowing thru my veins

Talking in my head sometimes driving me insane

It's the power of the road that seems to take hold

It's the wandering bug flowing out of control

I've tried to settle down but found it so hard

Never worrying about what laid ahead for me

Older now with open vision the past is all I see

I've been called a woman of class every entrance a debutante

Been called a hell raiser the devil would fight not to set free

I've long since stopped caring what people had to say

Found it better to live life my own way

My life has been just one big oxymoron stroll

But thru it all I have managed to keep my heart out of the cold

Broken tattered barely beating still....fighting to continue its will.....

Never been my intent to cast harm upon life

But sadly sometimes I was a double edged knife

Never been one to lay with many men

Kept them at a distance made them my friend

So don't mistake my wildness to mean that I am loose

For if you do life will give you a swift kick in your caboose

fish like piranhas
swimming inside
devouring this mind
eating out parts
of a soul

as one hides
in the turtle shell
like a wise
old owl
once said
hoot hoot

laughing within
the owl
was mad
in this head
doing a three
sixty turn

one eighty
each way inside
the yolk
sweetly tasting
going dizzy
humpty dumpty
got back
on the wall
smiling back
to himself

I see you from across the room !
You look like a flower in bloom !
I can't take my eyes off of you !
I want you!
No! I gotta have you!
I don't want to get all sappy !
But I know we can be happy !
Your perfect in my eyes !
To have you would be a prize !
I promise to treat you
Ever so gently !
Never leave you empty !
I wanna take you home !
Promise to never leave you
Alone !
You will always have a special place !
Where I can always see your face!
I'm gonna lay you
On some lace !
For you know
I have good taste !
Let's go ! no time to waste !
I promise will be together
For ever !

i almost cried
bought a cheap
gas bottle
a friend was up visiting
said a neighbor moved out
gave it to him saying
its almost full
saying its three times
the size of the gas bottle
which you have there

how much do want for it i said
seeing a chance
of a bargain
30 euros he said
managed to get it
for 20 euros
telling him
i am taking a chance
it might not work
smiling into myself

got it back to the place
carried it around the back
got a jublie clip
connected them together
went in began putting on a fry
cooking away almost done
i turn
my niece walks in the door

she gives me one
awful push screaming
into flames
roaring saying
the place
is on fire
all the hairs
on my arms went up in smoke
caught a bucket of water
throwing it upon the flames
my hair catches fire
my niece
was roaring laughing
at this stage

ran around the back ripped
the gas bottle out of the wall
run in with another bucket of water
dousing the flames
ran to the barrel of water dipping my hand in
only now i am shaking with shock
that stupid gas bottle has just
cost me a clean fortune

should of known
it was to good to be true
put creams for burns on
had a sleepless night
but everything is ok
just have hairless arms
sick working at
repairing the damage

that is me
finished with gas bottles
my niece said she could
not help laughing
even i was in flames
she said it was the fastest
she ever saw me moving
with your hair on fire
it was like something out
of a movie

she said
it did not seem real
that she was shocked
stood and done nothing
my father today
began laughing

he said my arms
he never seen them
looking so smooth looking
a better job
than waxing he said
a mad story
from the hills
of donegal

imagine that
an idiot almost
blew himself up
laughing out loud
into myself ha ha

Intimidated by your beautiful soul
but meet with you I must,
Fearing when your eyes behold me
your love I have to trust,

It's foolish for me to think it
I readily confess,
Your heart, your soul, your body
I yearn so to possess,

So very clear I am unworthy
for claiming such a prize,
So certain it will fulfill me
to gaze into your eyes,

Obsessed, I crave the sensation
when I first touch your skin,
I know you feel soft, like velvet
love glowing from within,

Holding you close within my arms
tightly, safe and secure,
But having to let you go again
I surely can't endure,

My heart grows ever more fearful
time nears for us to meet,
You might be disappointed or
you may become complete,

I just hope our friendship doesn't
suffer from this event,
To bring you joy and happiness
is all I ever meant.

~SAS

There was a crooked man with a crooked smile, he would walk a crooked mile,just to sing to a crooked cow, that's why the man would always smile , cause he knew that crooked cow would always be a Silly sow .

Life is just one long joke
We designed and planned it
We laugh in the irony
Of the mistakes made
Of words left unspoken
Words which hurt
should not have been said
And all the strife and pain.
What does the soul think?
Does it laugh with us amid the tears
Perhaps a titter or a smile
There are none in the realms of Bliss.
No meaning in the eternal NOW
Is it all smiles,
never a joke and laughter?