Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Most Liked, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
Southern Santa
About time we had a southern Santa
he can come from the South Pole
dressed in red and white board shorts
given its summer and all
a little sun tan going on would do him good
he always looks so damn pasty
penguins instead of reindeer
no-one has a chimney here any more
so he can leave gifts at my back door
hell I've been good all year Santa
hardly been a ranter
sticking to the Fanta
just a little banter
take life at a canter
Enough!
he can come from the South Pole
dressed in red and white board shorts
given its summer and all
a little sun tan going on would do him good
he always looks so damn pasty
penguins instead of reindeer
no-one has a chimney here any more
so he can leave gifts at my back door
hell I've been good all year Santa
hardly been a ranter
sticking to the Fanta
just a little banter
take life at a canter
Enough!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2022
About this poem:
Santa's equivalent
Why?
Why?, Why? does there need to be an answer to existence,
Why not exist? No one knows, where we go, where this
all goes, if we could only stop looking, we may enjoy being here!
Lets all just drink Tennessee whiskey and then go to bed!
Why not exist? No one knows, where we go, where this
all goes, if we could only stop looking, we may enjoy being here!
Lets all just drink Tennessee whiskey and then go to bed!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2022
Post Comment
Poet"s corner
There is me... and only me...
In this world of poetry,
In the crystal fairy tale of life
I am the brightest star.
The ground is slipping from under my feet
The stars are spinning in time with the breath ...
The stream of my words is flowing,
Massaging my inflated ego .
My soul is flying with delight
In the clouds.
Unplayed love motive
Gives birth to my poems...
Ah ,I love myself so much
Always –
There are no other important words
For now ...
Like a mosaic of feelings
Through the years
I will write down my name in the dawns
In this world of poetry,
In the crystal fairy tale of life
I am the brightest star.
The ground is slipping from under my feet
The stars are spinning in time with the breath ...
The stream of my words is flowing,
Massaging my inflated ego .
My soul is flying with delight
In the clouds.
Unplayed love motive
Gives birth to my poems...
Ah ,I love myself so much
Always –
There are no other important words
For now ...
Like a mosaic of feelings
Through the years
I will write down my name in the dawns
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2022
About this poem:
It concerns our poet"s corner-The way I see some poets on our Poet"s corner .. I tried to write with humor and a little bit of irony))) sometimes it's just getting very funny ..
online today!my life's essentials
my life's essentials
I breathe, eat, drink and I poop
how miraculous!
I breathe, eat, drink and I poop
how miraculous!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2022
About this poem:
senryuSafari suit Lenny
Safari suit Lenny
never short a penny
our man in Africa
1955
Oxbridge dilettante
drinking from the font
of suntanned woman
a man alive
No compunction
is how Lenny functions
cocktails bourgeoise
with others wives
The colonial obsession
that brought repression
set Mau Mau boys
on the rise
never short a penny
our man in Africa
1955
Oxbridge dilettante
drinking from the font
of suntanned woman
a man alive
No compunction
is how Lenny functions
cocktails bourgeoise
with others wives
The colonial obsession
that brought repression
set Mau Mau boys
on the rise
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2021
About this poem:
Fictional Lenny from the Colonial Office
She Gets By with Saying I'm Sorry
She gets by with saying I'm sorry
While I get stuck with a broken heart
Women get away with a lot of things
And it happens right from the start
She's had a really good life
While I'm still waiting on the lottery
She made somebody else a really good wife
And I have to pretend it doesn't bother me
She says she didn't know till recently
How I loved her so
So she offers a little smile of pity
Now how is that suppose to soften such a terrible blow
She gets by with saying I'm sorry
And I'm the oldest clown of all
Women get by with a lot of things
As they hang home sweet home on the wall
While I get stuck with a broken heart
Women get away with a lot of things
And it happens right from the start
She's had a really good life
While I'm still waiting on the lottery
She made somebody else a really good wife
And I have to pretend it doesn't bother me
She says she didn't know till recently
How I loved her so
So she offers a little smile of pity
Now how is that suppose to soften such a terrible blow
She gets by with saying I'm sorry
And I'm the oldest clown of all
Women get by with a lot of things
As they hang home sweet home on the wall
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2021
Post Comment
ME PLURRY ORANGE SOCKS.
Oh to be in Orange on a Wintery day like today,
I'd need more than me Plurry sox to warm me body.
The locals love Orange they say its just the place to stay
but even though I don't drink I'd sure need a wee toddy.
Down to the pub I went to meet all the Orange locals
and as I walked in they all looked me up and down
Even Gazza and Fred Smith eyed me with their bi-focals.
But the locals gave me a warm welcome to their town
and yere the pub was good, the place really rocks.
Next time I come this way I'll stop and say g'day
but I'll be sure to bring me Orange Cardi & me Sox
cause I was frozen to the bone the whole of me stay.
................................................................Maymyo
I'd need more than me Plurry sox to warm me body.
The locals love Orange they say its just the place to stay
but even though I don't drink I'd sure need a wee toddy.
Down to the pub I went to meet all the Orange locals
and as I walked in they all looked me up and down
Even Gazza and Fred Smith eyed me with their bi-focals.
But the locals gave me a warm welcome to their town
and yere the pub was good, the place really rocks.
Next time I come this way I'll stop and say g'day
but I'll be sure to bring me Orange Cardi & me Sox
cause I was frozen to the bone the whole of me stay.
................................................................Maymyo
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2021
About this poem:
Have you ever been to Orange in the middle of Winter ? All you need is some warm clothes & a Toddy.The locals don't seem to mind the Winter but the travellers certainly feel it.
It certainly was an eye opener for this visitor and I have never forgotten the warm hospitality....Maymyo.
Cluedo
Reverend Green
vented his spleen
when little Miss Scarlett
called Miss Peach a harlot
and honorable Colonel Mustard
was left in the custard
when slinky Madame Rose
in black pantyhose
led Sergeant Grey
more than astray
but while they're all on the run
twas Peacock and Plum
who in the depth of the night
killed Mrs White
vented his spleen
when little Miss Scarlett
called Miss Peach a harlot
and honorable Colonel Mustard
was left in the custard
when slinky Madame Rose
in black pantyhose
led Sergeant Grey
more than astray
but while they're all on the run
twas Peacock and Plum
who in the depth of the night
killed Mrs White
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2021
About this poem:
Running through the characters for funAnimal jokes
A pony went to see the doctor because it couldn’t speak.
“I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse.”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"
“I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse.”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2022
About this poem:
Brighten your day
online today!Pythagoras
The paradox of root 2,
Pythagoras knew what to do;
The first thing was;-
Not to eat a bean;
The second was:
What the hell,
Does this "pi thing" mean?
© lovecanbereal
All rights reserved
Pythagoras knew what to do;
The first thing was;-
Not to eat a bean;
The second was:
What the hell,
Does this "pi thing" mean?
© lovecanbereal
All rights reserved
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2022
About this poem:
The marvel of the Ancient Greeks....The term pi, was not used by Pythagoras, at the time...(hence the inverted commas)....But it amounts to the SAME thing!....(The ratio of a circle's circumference/diameter), and he DID wonder rather a lot about that!
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