Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Most Liked, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
irish words
I've been asked to write about Ireland, well, what can I say?, it's wonderful, filled with beauty and charm, tis true, we've got Guinness and something more, that we just can't ignore, we have Presidents come from the USA , no no let me rephrase, we SENT Presidents to the USA should I say, and they always come back to thank us, just like Barack(?????), Ronald came, so did John, (F Kennedy), Clinton and Bush, seems like when they get elected they are in a rush, to come back home, see the old sod, we give them the nod, well done, my son, and we tell them, remember you are Irish, remember who you are, take it to the limit, take it far!!!
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Posted: Feb 2022
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Shorty, Hannah And Rita
Goody Mcgordy also know as shorty
Had a sporty car
His girlfriend was Sandra Mcfana also known as Hannah
Had a little guitar
So Shorty and Hannah went to Montana
To play in a rockin band
Swore he'd never leave her, but then he met Rita Mcfever
And there was a sudden change of plans
So Shorty and Rita and viva las vegas fast as they can
The top was down didn't take long to get a tan
With the radio on Rita knew that Shorty was an Elvis fan
In vegas just a little while Shorty became a gambling man
He lost everything he lost Hannah and Rita
And even his sporty car
He can't get a ride walking in the desert and late in the evening
He stumbled across little pieces of a little guitar
Had a sporty car
His girlfriend was Sandra Mcfana also known as Hannah
Had a little guitar
So Shorty and Hannah went to Montana
To play in a rockin band
Swore he'd never leave her, but then he met Rita Mcfever
And there was a sudden change of plans
So Shorty and Rita and viva las vegas fast as they can
The top was down didn't take long to get a tan
With the radio on Rita knew that Shorty was an Elvis fan
In vegas just a little while Shorty became a gambling man
He lost everything he lost Hannah and Rita
And even his sporty car
He can't get a ride walking in the desert and late in the evening
He stumbled across little pieces of a little guitar
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Posted: Feb 2022
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Towering Wino
It broke the silence of the afternoon
the lurch, the shout
tall dreams of a towering wino
A fermented chorus
rabid and spent
move on, move on
tall dreams of a towering wino
No choral occasion
a neighborhood rip
a candid case for official liaison
tall dreams of a towering wino
Passed my window, passed my gate
a distant dog to which he now relates
tall dreams of a towering wino
the lurch, the shout
tall dreams of a towering wino
A fermented chorus
rabid and spent
move on, move on
tall dreams of a towering wino
No choral occasion
a neighborhood rip
a candid case for official liaison
tall dreams of a towering wino
Passed my window, passed my gate
a distant dog to which he now relates
tall dreams of a towering wino
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Posted: Aug 2020
About this poem:
Don't dream about this guy :)Masks and the office
I can only just see his eyes over the mask
is he squinting? yeah its a death stare
I'm sure
and he could go for that highlighter pen any moment
I move a little uneasily but rotate my chair towards him
adjust my mask, showing no fear
we are now locked into this moment
I slowly reach for the stapler
never lose eye contact
tapping it on my thigh
I can see he's pondering the move
no way to up it easily
now he's fiddling with his phone
I have the edge
I wonder if we are still going to lunch :)
is he squinting? yeah its a death stare
I'm sure
and he could go for that highlighter pen any moment
I move a little uneasily but rotate my chair towards him
adjust my mask, showing no fear
we are now locked into this moment
I slowly reach for the stapler
never lose eye contact
tapping it on my thigh
I can see he's pondering the move
no way to up it easily
now he's fiddling with his phone
I have the edge
I wonder if we are still going to lunch :)
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Posted: Aug 2020
About this poem:
Masks may introduce a new dynamic into the office haha
online today!Putter Gooder
Just putter gooder one on there
What are we talking about
The storm door on my house
With a trap door for a mouse
Why heavens sake do that for
Justa gonna ruin a good door
Still better than the one before
When a big snow comes around
The cat don’t want out no more
That’s the craziest thing I heard
You sure you don’t know for sure
Nope I can’t say for sure no more
What are we talking about
The storm door on my house
With a trap door for a mouse
Why heavens sake do that for
Justa gonna ruin a good door
Still better than the one before
When a big snow comes around
The cat don’t want out no more
That’s the craziest thing I heard
You sure you don’t know for sure
Nope I can’t say for sure no more
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Posted: Dec 30
About this poem:
It’s always fun to share a little hillbilly humor with you all in my native dialect……but we do make language fun up here in the Upper Appalachian Mountains….Nun of the Above
Secret desire
forbidden love
She said "Come to me,
I'm Nun of the Above"
forbidden love
She said "Come to me,
I'm Nun of the Above"
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Posted: Sep 2020
About this poem:
some zesty word play ..Death bed joke
A man is lying on his deathbed
the priest comes in and says
"Son I want you to renounce the Devil and condemn his evil"
the man says nothing, so the priest says a little louder
"Son I want you to renounce the Devil and condemn his evil"
still no reply
Exasperated the priest says
"My son, you may have only one hour to live, you should renounce the Devil and condemn his evil"
the man opens one eye and says
"Father until I know which way I'm going I'm not about to antagonize anybody"
the priest comes in and says
"Son I want you to renounce the Devil and condemn his evil"
the man says nothing, so the priest says a little louder
"Son I want you to renounce the Devil and condemn his evil"
still no reply
Exasperated the priest says
"My son, you may have only one hour to live, you should renounce the Devil and condemn his evil"
the man opens one eye and says
"Father until I know which way I'm going I'm not about to antagonize anybody"
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Posted: Sep 2020
About this poem:
spotted from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach videoWriters block
Poetic tomes, grammatical strife
in a high piled, white tiled, scrabble life
consonants collide
vowels vault
the sentence structure isn't neat
a faulty concept incomplete
I'll have to have another try
this poetry nonsense is do or die :)
in a high piled, white tiled, scrabble life
consonants collide
vowels vault
the sentence structure isn't neat
a faulty concept incomplete
I'll have to have another try
this poetry nonsense is do or die :)
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Posted: Sep 2020
Post CommentAngry dwarf
A dwarf has his reasons
never discuss
the finer points of pole vaulting
never discuss
the finer points of pole vaulting
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Posted: Sep 2020
Post CommentJoke
A nurse is giving a young medical intern a tour of the hospital.
The intern approaches one bedridden patient and asks,
“Why are you here?”
The patient replies, “Wee sleket cowerin’ timrous beastie/O, what a panic is in thy breastie.”
The intern moves on to the next bed and asks the same question,
“Why are you here?”
The patient answers, “O, my luv is like a red, red, rose that’s newly sprung in June.”
The intern moves on to a third bed and asks again,
“Why are you here” to which the third patient replies,
“The best laid plans of mice and men, may often gang awry.”
At this the intern turns to the nurse and asks,
“What ward is this anyway.”
And the nurse answers, “It’s the Burns Unit.”
The intern approaches one bedridden patient and asks,
“Why are you here?”
The patient replies, “Wee sleket cowerin’ timrous beastie/O, what a panic is in thy breastie.”
The intern moves on to the next bed and asks the same question,
“Why are you here?”
The patient answers, “O, my luv is like a red, red, rose that’s newly sprung in June.”
The intern moves on to a third bed and asks again,
“Why are you here” to which the third patient replies,
“The best laid plans of mice and men, may often gang awry.”
At this the intern turns to the nurse and asks,
“What ward is this anyway.”
And the nurse answers, “It’s the Burns Unit.”
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Posted: Sep 2020
About this poem:
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