Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Most Liked, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
online today!Vertical
Anger
rage
never
rises
mouth
high
Irritation
sometimes
retching
reaches
upper
regions
rich
fulsome
ruminant
memory
ascends
blissfully
food
chilli
salami
salmon
all
mingle
ah
so
passes
this
lovely
saturday!
rage
never
rises
mouth
high
Irritation
sometimes
retching
reaches
upper
regions
rich
fulsome
ruminant
memory
ascends
blissfully
food
chilli
salami
salmon
all
mingle
ah
so
passes
this
lovely
saturday!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2020
About this poem:
Well!nuff
said
anti
haiku
Raddly! Daddly! Doo! WooHooo!!!
So who will give their pixel up
Not one or two or three or five
or six or seven or eight or nine
Maybe ten will split the litttle squeak
can never have too many hens
If ya like to stare
then take the dare
and split a tire or two
cause he's about to lay her out
and there aint nothin you can do
He's gonna start real slow
gettin her wet and all squirelly
get ready cause shes sure about surely
gonna give dat Bing da Bot Bam Boom
To bang for a measily buck ride or two
And if that aint enough to make you choke
then listen up close ya all hear me now folk
We havent even gotten to the part thats rottten where
little lady slides over where we hit first gear
And we're just coastin to the startin line
Now methinks her grumble and that Hemi's rumble
Might exsplain why they be talkin bout that Ol' Fenders Flap
cause bout this time that youngin girl just made a move
Whilst twilights tinker is eyeballin the stinker
That ol chap is thinkin about taken a lap
He revs his gas knowin that shes a real drinker
Hot Lottery Damn! Shes a hook line and sinker
Dat Boy revved so hard fire came out of dem pipes
As he approaches the startin line
Not one or two or three or five
or six or seven or eight or nine
Maybe ten will split the litttle squeak
can never have too many hens
If ya like to stare
then take the dare
and split a tire or two
cause he's about to lay her out
and there aint nothin you can do
He's gonna start real slow
gettin her wet and all squirelly
get ready cause shes sure about surely
gonna give dat Bing da Bot Bam Boom
To bang for a measily buck ride or two
And if that aint enough to make you choke
then listen up close ya all hear me now folk
We havent even gotten to the part thats rottten where
little lady slides over where we hit first gear
And we're just coastin to the startin line
Now methinks her grumble and that Hemi's rumble
Might exsplain why they be talkin bout that Ol' Fenders Flap
cause bout this time that youngin girl just made a move
Whilst twilights tinker is eyeballin the stinker
That ol chap is thinkin about taken a lap
He revs his gas knowin that shes a real drinker
Hot Lottery Damn! Shes a hook line and sinker
Dat Boy revved so hard fire came out of dem pipes
As he approaches the startin line
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 5
About this poem:
Let me know if you want to read the rest
Ode to a meat pie
the meal of one course
not for a horse
on goes the sauce
with legitimate force
mince and cheese
oh yes please
butter chicken
that's what I'm pickin'
steak and veg
I wish to pledge
is comfort food
when in the mood
not for a horse
on goes the sauce
with legitimate force
mince and cheese
oh yes please
butter chicken
that's what I'm pickin'
steak and veg
I wish to pledge
is comfort food
when in the mood
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2021
About this poem:
Studying meat pies, now in America apparently you can get only pot pies, not recommended though I see, but in NY, Michigan, Louisiana and wait for it McRadloff Wisconsin! you can get real meat pies, true?Florida you get some Latin American equivalents, SM?
Do they put Guinness in the pies in Ireland Mick??
Two laughs English style
Twas time for lunch
I went to the shop
I bought one orange, one banana, and one pear
The woman behind the counter says
"I can tell you live alone"
I says "Just because I buy small quantities you think I live alone?"
She says "No you're just feckin' ugly"
I asked my boss for a pay-rise
He said "No you cant"
..at least I think he said "cant"
I went to the shop
I bought one orange, one banana, and one pear
The woman behind the counter says
"I can tell you live alone"
I says "Just because I buy small quantities you think I live alone?"
She says "No you're just feckin' ugly"
I asked my boss for a pay-rise
He said "No you cant"
..at least I think he said "cant"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2021
About this poem:
oh-ah arf arf
SILLY
OK,,,IM GONNA WRITE A POEM THAT DOES NOT RHYME,, I THINK ITS ABOUT TIME,
OOPS , DID I MAKE A MISTAKE,,,NOT SOMETHING I USUALLY MAKE,,SEEMS I CANT
WRITE NORMALLY,, OK,, LETS DO THIS FORMALLY,,GONNA BE NICE,,, I WANT CURRY
CHICKEN AND FRIED RICE,,TWO BAGS OF CHIPS AND A DONER,, ITS NOT ALL FOR
ME, I'M NOT A LONER,,CAN YOU ADD FRIED ONION RINGS,, I LOVE THOSE THINGS,
OH AND I WANT A STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE,,, CAN YOU HAVE IT READY IN TEN FOR
ME TO TAKE? OH FOR f*ck SAKE.
OOPS , DID I MAKE A MISTAKE,,,NOT SOMETHING I USUALLY MAKE,,SEEMS I CANT
WRITE NORMALLY,, OK,, LETS DO THIS FORMALLY,,GONNA BE NICE,,, I WANT CURRY
CHICKEN AND FRIED RICE,,TWO BAGS OF CHIPS AND A DONER,, ITS NOT ALL FOR
ME, I'M NOT A LONER,,CAN YOU ADD FRIED ONION RINGS,, I LOVE THOSE THINGS,
OH AND I WANT A STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE,,, CAN YOU HAVE IT READY IN TEN FOR
ME TO TAKE? OH FOR f*ck SAKE.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2021
Post Comment
Easy Living
Easy living,
Is this what it takes?, ( ex.1- da de da doo)
Play it by ear?,
You wake and you bake!,
ooh, (x4) - Easy living, -
The party begins,
When you arrive!
You wonder if it's the right place?,
While you - are greeted with smiles!,
Easy living, --
You jump on a Harley,
Cuts circles in the grass, (ex.2 cha che cha cha cha)
The neighbors call the cops,
Then ask for your autograph!,
ooh (x4) - Easy living, --
People pay you!,
To play on the stage!,
But even you don't,
They love you anyways!,
Easy living, --
Easy living,
Is that what it took?, (ex.3 de da dow ba da ba da bom bom boom)
To play that six string thing?,
To have the looks?,
ooh (x4) Easy living, -
And you have it all!,
Where else can you go?
If you are (reading, hearing) this,
(de da doo, chada chada chada ching ba da boom)
Let me know?!
Easy living ------
Is this what it takes?, ( ex.1- da de da doo)
Play it by ear?,
You wake and you bake!,
ooh, (x4) - Easy living, -
The party begins,
When you arrive!
You wonder if it's the right place?,
While you - are greeted with smiles!,
Easy living, --
You jump on a Harley,
Cuts circles in the grass, (ex.2 cha che cha cha cha)
The neighbors call the cops,
Then ask for your autograph!,
ooh (x4) - Easy living, --
People pay you!,
To play on the stage!,
But even you don't,
They love you anyways!,
Easy living, --
Easy living,
Is that what it took?, (ex.3 de da dow ba da ba da bom bom boom)
To play that six string thing?,
To have the looks?,
ooh (x4) Easy living, -
And you have it all!,
Where else can you go?
If you are (reading, hearing) this,
(de da doo, chada chada chada ching ba da boom)
Let me know?!
Easy living ------
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2023
About this poem:
Wrote this 6-9-2023. I thought of writing something Rock off a scale of the days of yore of Rock! Perhaps something like a modern-day oldie with rock, blues, and jazz style, or maybe something more The sound somewhat modern studio wise, but the vocals, the group, very old school style. Let's day the 50's early 60's? An interesting aspect, eh? lol Until then
Life is Great
Life is great. Oh no its not.
You have not seen or wish you forgot.
Not just me it's reality you just don't tell.
Just because it's safe to do so they say.
Bite the hand that feeds will not succeed.
Said priest to altar boy in the basement.
Amen
You have not seen or wish you forgot.
Not just me it's reality you just don't tell.
Just because it's safe to do so they say.
Bite the hand that feeds will not succeed.
Said priest to altar boy in the basement.
Amen
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2023
About this poem:
Aint life funny especially these days lol.
Elmo’s AWOLNATION Sail Parody
TALE !
This how Elmo spends his day.
I love to squish my Playdoh clay.
Blame on Elmo’s A,B,C’s babeh.
My father spends his time on stocks.
But Elmo loves to play with blocks.
Blame on Elmo’s A,B,C’s babeh.
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
My parents call my playpen jail.
And tantrums give my Momma hell.
Blame on Elmo’s A,B,C’s babeh.
Teacher, calls me “special needs”
Cuz Elmo’s hyper active seed.
Blame on Elmo’s A,B,C’s babeh.
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
Ma ma ma ma ma
Ma ma ma ma ma no!
Ma ma ma ma ma,
Ma ma ma ma ma no!
Ma ma ma ma ma,
Ma ma ma ma ma,
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
Once upon a time, a fairy
TALE !
Once upon a time, a fairy
TALE !
Once upon a time, a fairy
TALE !
Once upon a
TALE !
© July 30, 2014, L. Karriem
This how Elmo spends his day.
I love to squish my Playdoh clay.
Blame on Elmo’s A,B,C’s babeh.
My father spends his time on stocks.
But Elmo loves to play with blocks.
Blame on Elmo’s A,B,C’s babeh.
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
My parents call my playpen jail.
And tantrums give my Momma hell.
Blame on Elmo’s A,B,C’s babeh.
Teacher, calls me “special needs”
Cuz Elmo’s hyper active seed.
Blame on Elmo’s A,B,C’s babeh.
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
Ma ma ma ma ma
Ma ma ma ma ma no!
Ma ma ma ma ma,
Ma ma ma ma ma no!
Ma ma ma ma ma,
Ma ma ma ma ma,
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
TALE !
Once upon a time, a fairy
TALE !
Once upon a time, a fairy
TALE !
Once upon a time, a fairy
TALE !
Once upon a
TALE !
© July 30, 2014, L. Karriem
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2021
About this poem:
Sometimes when I hear certain songs, jokes pop up in my mind making fun of it.This is the only parody I have copyrighted. I really need to get out a few of the
other ones that I wrote. I love writing parodies.
The angel in my beer
There's a little angel in my beer glass
he appears there when I'm down to the last drops
I'm not sure if he's thirsty or not
he just sits there humming
so I refill the glass
then I miss him so I have to drink that one
and there he is again whistling
I whistle too
but he laughs at my effort
being sensitive to criticism
I refill again
and drink more slowly
this time he appears grumpy
so I turn the glass over on the bar
and invite 3 people over to watch him dance
he just gives us the one finger salute
never trust a drinking angel
he appears there when I'm down to the last drops
I'm not sure if he's thirsty or not
he just sits there humming
so I refill the glass
then I miss him so I have to drink that one
and there he is again whistling
I whistle too
but he laughs at my effort
being sensitive to criticism
I refill again
and drink more slowly
this time he appears grumpy
so I turn the glass over on the bar
and invite 3 people over to watch him dance
he just gives us the one finger salute
never trust a drinking angel
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2021
About this poem:
there's an angel in my beerPuzzle
A man has to take a wolf, a goat and a cabbage across a river.
His rowing boat has only enough room for the man plus either the wolf, the goat , or the cabbage. If he takes the cabbage the wolf will eat the goat. If he takes the wolf the goat will eat the cabbage. Only when the man is present are the goat and cabbage safe.
Question: Relate the situation to Afghanistan and comment on the US withdrawal?
haha
ok then how does he get them all across safely?
His rowing boat has only enough room for the man plus either the wolf, the goat , or the cabbage. If he takes the cabbage the wolf will eat the goat. If he takes the wolf the goat will eat the cabbage. Only when the man is present are the goat and cabbage safe.
Question: Relate the situation to Afghanistan and comment on the US withdrawal?
haha
ok then how does he get them all across safely?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2021
About this poem:
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