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Women one liners

Women one liners If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

For all the American women.

US Presidential debate #2

as seen by Saturday Night Live and much of America.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVMW_1aZXRk

Over an hour of laughs w/ Foster Brooks! Enjoy

Do you remember Foster Brooks? ~JOHN~

Hang on just a goddam minute here....

Are men really shallow..? In a recent post one voluptuous lady from jamaica said that men are shallow coz they look at the cleavage..one even said that if you show your cleavage it has benefits but attracts the nutters. Ok so let me get this st

Los Apodos of Your Childhood!!

Okay, so I'm being silly and just in time to get your attention. Los apodos are "Your nicknames" in Spanish. I had several growing up and into my adulthood as well. Let's have some fun and maybe a little "letting loose", so to speak, om hurtfu

Real Name

It seems to me that I'm the only guy that was silly enough to use my real name (or Partly) as a CS handle. My full name is actually Luke Onassis (LukeOn). Yes, family to Aristotle. Just wondering if anyone else also used their real n

To The Admin's

CAN YOU PLEASE TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE MORE CONTROL OVER WHO YOU LET IN. THERE IS A NEW MEMBER. AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE HAS BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEN. SHE SENDS NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN GROTESQUE POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER LADY GARDEN. SHE I

Pathetic

Lol to this site ??it's so funny to read some of the comments On this site

If a tree falls in a forest...

We don't need to get philosophical about it. It makes a sound. It does. Do you need to see webcam video as proof? It makes a sound and that's my final answer!

Trump gives advice to government workers not receiving paychecks.

And as a bonus, hot off The New Yorker today; Forever By Andy Borowitz 10:57 A.M. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a b

I did three.

This is the fourth. Who can beat me? Is that even a question? I think I am already beaten. Sorry for hogging the first page. Now bump me to the second page with something be

:-)

I'm corresponding with a scammer right now, bantering back and forth! Trying to set a 'booby' trap for him!

jokes.....

.....Man: I could go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there? Man: I offer you myself. Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts. Man: I want to share everything with you. Woman: Let's start from your bank a

GET OUT OF THE CAR...NOW!

This came in email today ....It's a goody..so hope you read and get some idea of what could be waiting to happen on a shopping trip! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Get Out Of The Car - NOW !

They Walk Among Us!

They Walk Among Us---- --------------------------- A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge (still working), he put it in his front yard and hung a Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it

Happy Birthday Enigma

Enigma's birthday is tomorrow, June 11. Let's all join in and wish her a very happy birthday! Happy Birthday Enigma! May you have many, many more! God

Jokes :-D

Hey all hope all enjoying the bank holiday Monday :-) Give me your best jokes I thank you lol

Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restau

Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant? A: Four fish got battered! What do you call a sleepy pizza? A: A piZZZZZZZZZZa! Why were the pickles embarrassed? A: They saw the salad dressing!

No more need to be fussy ladies...

..the answer is here. 1. Are you sitting at home waiting of that perfect man to arrive ? 2. Is life getting you down because the choice of men are lean in the trouser snake dept ? 3. Is your current man large but shit in bed and grumpy. The

Irish Airline Announcement

Being airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but

Getting older is odd

I was talking to a kid the other day and relating pretty well, I thought. I'm down with the yoof. This was a pretty young kid, and I asked how old he was. 8. He asked how old I was. I had to think about it, as always, then told him. He looked at me w

Went With The Wind!

Saw this on my FB this morning and thought I would like to share it here. Back in 1976, The Carol Burnett Show aired a sketch comedy segment that would forever be held as one of the funniest moments in the history of television. And

Words that end in ....man

If it can fly is SuperMan, if it can swim is AquaMan, If it can clim is SpiderMan,If it explote is a MusulMan, If it can......is a woMan. Please fill in the blank woth the correct word.

The New Bug,

FOXITIS This is the new bug, that has been around for some time. Just to think of Foxitis makes me laugh..

WHAT did you just say? ROFL

Talking in a different language can get you into embarrassing situations, we all know that. Mispronounce a word and oops ... different meaning. Then there are the comedians who teach you something that doesn't mean what they told you it means ...

The shortest fairytale...

Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him..she refused. The man lived happily ever after...riding motorbikes, going fishing...drinking beer..playing golf...left the toilet seat up and could fart whenever he wanted. The End

Its Friday....

Whats the height of being intoxicated? When you walk across the dance floor to buy another drink and you win the Singles Dance Competition.. Yo

BEER CAN VASECTOMY

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more kids. The doctor told him that there

Husband , Wife joke,

A husband comes home from work one day, later that night , him and the wife are going to bed. The husband turns to the wife and says, Dear ,did you put the cat out. The wife, with tears in her eyes says to her husband, Dear , the cat died today,:

First the Apple

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but

In a world where you can be anything - be kind

The heading, and the following, are Facebook philosophies picked up today - it may be just my timeline, but there's a faint trend towards optimism after long months of depression, fatalism, or anger. Instead of scraping flaking horrible (really horr

stolen cat...

For the lack of better blog subject matter, has anyone seen the movie Keanu....about a stolen cat trying to be retrieved? ....I seen previews to it, it seems like it would be a great comedy...seeing I am more of a cat person. B

We Have An Ogre In Our Midst

He's bald, fat, big tummy, hairy, with big ears full of shites not wax, disgustingly rotten from the inside to the outside, has 12" toadstool but unlike Shrek who is likable and likes to keep his own space, our ogre here is very intrusive, disrupti

There's Snow On the Roof, But...

...there's still fire in the furnace! Check out former president Bill Clinton, getting an eyeful at the Aretha Franklin funeral/life celebration: https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/aretha-franklin-funeral-internet-frenzy-at-bill-clinton-s-gaze-d

Missing wife................

A Texan went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing. Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.... Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five

Think Like A Child

Why do we love children? 1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was

learn by example

Here's the Middle finger. Andrea Jenkyns, a Tory MP, made the rude gesture on Thursday when a crowd booed her as she entered Downing Street to watch UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson deliver his resignation speech. The kids love her to bits.

Getting Old

You'll all love this! " #1 I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?" And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "O

Origins of the office Stapler Part 1

THE STAPLER IN THE CAVEMAN DAYS In the caveman days, staplers were free, they roamed the plains of the Serengeti to the highlands of the Alaskan Alps, living in small family groups they became fastidious in their methods of hunting prey, however inb

NEWS FLASH! Democrats To Rig Election!

Trump urges Republicans to act NOW to close the rigged election gap! ........ TRUMP - Fifty gaziliion CLINTON - Six