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When we finally get to meet the women of our dreams we are often disappointed because the object in our dreams is not quite as she described herself in her profile. Now don’t get me wrong; I not saying that women are liars, they just speak a different language than men and we often interpret their jargon incorrectly. Please note that I’m not blaming the women for this, the problem is with us.

Ok ladies, this is where you get off the bus; this is for men only. If you read on, it will be at your own risk because this may get vulgar. Don’t complain about it later.

And now that the ladies have left us, I’ll try to give you guys a few guidelines on how to read female profiles. I cannot go through all of it but here are a few good examples of the phrases/words they use in their profiles to describe themselves and what they really mean. If the time permits we can look at what they expect in a partner at afterwards.

When they say – It actually translates to
Accommodating – I take in boarders
Athletic Body – I can lick you any day, so watch your step
Caring – I’m looking after my sickly mother who lives in
Decent – I only curse when it slips out.
Elegant – I usually overdress and overdo make-up
Enjoy good food – I expect to be treated on expensive meals
Flexible – I don’t really know what I want
Friendly – I’m a flirt
Good Humored – I like to hear new dirty jokes
Good Looking – I can see well without specs
Healthy Body – I’m HIV positive but on ARVs
Honest – I only lie when I have to
Like Traveling – I commute to work every day
Literate – I passed Grade 4
Love Animals – I hate men
Modest – I m not a good conversationalist
No Mental Issues – I just blame it all to PMS
Religious – You won’t have sex with me until you promise to marry me
Sensitive – I have a short temper
Serious – I cannot take a joke
Sociable – I play the field
Sophisticated – I drink cheap wine out of fancy glasses
Understanding – I speak several languages
Well Informed – I gossip all the time
Well Read – I have a lot of comic books
Witty – I know a lot of dirty jokes

Sorry guys, we’ll have to cut this short. I think our private meeting had been infiltrated because I can smell Malaysian cupcakes and Irish home baked scones.

Memorize these phrases and their true meanings and you will understand their profiles so much better. I hope it helps.


And as always, you don’t have to pay me for this most valuable advice. I render it as a free service in order to promote a better understanding between the genders.

Men over 50 should be stable and employed and own their own home, be careful as some still live with their mommy’s make sure you find this out early to avoid disappointment.

Most men over 50 have lost their once handsome looks, think of it as character more than being ugly. A bit of a belly is a badge of honor and the result of good living.

Look for a man who has a sense of humor, its rare as they tend to moan a lot about nothing.

Like woman over 50 they are stuck in their ways and routines, trying to break them will result in failure, try to be sympathetic as men have a hard time adjusting to anything new.

Intercourse is important to men of this age, they think about it more than the younger men, not all will suffer from a form of floppiness and most will stand upright at the mere sight of any part of a woman.

He will change his underpants and put on deodorant and comb what’s left of his hair at least once a week when single but in a relationship he will do this daily.

Where the heck is everybody?

I know a few are in CS jail but who are currently booked in there? MY, Scott, Johnny, GG, CC , 10er ? About time to free them...

Many took a long holiday...about time they come back! Cat, Sista, Wen, Angel, LL, Piece, Fiery, Subpoena, The W., Iota...and most Asian bloggers...who else?


and some are too busy milking goats, BB, Blue, rapture, eks..seri, grumpy, truh, who else ?

or must be the new format again

Chilling...

Is Charged With Séxual Assault.
Cardinal George Pell is of course claiming to be innocent of all wrong doing.
Its all a conspiracy I tell ya !

Lets see how the "new revolutionary pope" handles this one.

My bet is;
Meet the new boss, Same as the old boss !

There's something in the way, love is never enough.
Funny as it may be, most of the times, we aren’t even aware we need to move on from a relationship until it becomes evident. Some of us logically know we should move on – yet we linger on anyway.
Sometimes we think we will never find someone like the person we are with. Other is just the fear of the change and not knowing what will happen next.
Why do we stay with relationships when we know it will lead to no where?

I know we are on Connecting Singles. But I guess most of us have been in situations like this.
What reason made you realize it was the moment to move on?

...............................................................................................................We have words for things that dont even exist...........yeaterday....tomorrow.....one day.....someday.....the day after tomorrow......next week.....next year......next month......tonight.....life insurance,,(its death insurance).....why get the weather for tomorrow?..when it doesnt even exist?....why save money for next years vacation(that doesnt exist either).....in your morning you cant say "what im going to do TODAY,,because today is in the future...and the future does not exist either,,,,nope..the only word you can use is......NOW.......

And now that were done with Good ole Monday...It is now Tuesdays Turn to be in the Spot Light...Tues day is better than Monday because the Next day(Wednesday) is Hump Day(For those that work anyway)..Tuesday also happens to be the day when most People are totally broke with not a cent to their names....But everyday has its meaning and Tuesday has its own......And today ..its all about "Tuesday"...............

Hope your day is going well

On October 25, 2013 vegemite is celebrating it's 90th birthday. This product isn't always appreciated globally, in fact, many people from overseas wonder how Australians manage to have it as a staple food in their cupboard.

But in recognition of vegemite, I think we should have a toast...



...okay perhaps we will put it on toast.

To date, we have enjoyed 90 billion jars of vegemite in Australia. It's iconic for Australians.... just as a tinnie at a BBQ, our 'such is life' bushranger or even Don Bradman , our star cricketer. It holds an integral part of our culture in it's hands.



The only thing that saddens many Australians is that our famous icon and favourite breakfast spread is now owned by Americans...and they don't seem to appreciate it like we do!



So on behalf of Australia... Happy Birthday, Vegemite!

I was thinking very strongly about robbing a bank. But then I thought.
By the time I got the appropriate degree in accountancy or business studies, Christmas would be long over.