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to manipulate others.

We could be a victim in so many ways. Some were neglected by parents, betrayed by partners, let down by lovers, picked on at school or by friends, ripped off on a business deal, etc, etc.

Healthy people usually learn from those experiences, forgive and move on. Others re-victimize themselves to give themselves some comfort


Control freaks love to play the victim, they try to control the person who hurt them as they owe them something and try to drain sympathy from people around them.

The person who play the victim is often times the real villain by portraying others as the demons and oppressors

Most of us have played the victims and not even aware about it. Whining and complaining about our children, jobs, partners, people around us, things we need to do etc…and having negative outlook in life. We can do something about these situations but we chose to stay and be a victim. People I know are doing this… I’m doing this too.

Real victims are those completely powerless and can’t do anything about it. They deserve sympathy…I’m not one of them.

Those who love to play the victim we should be wary of. They are manipulative and will do anything to be in control. It‘s tricky to recognize them … can leave you dumbfounded or worse.

Are you a "victim" too?

At last I have my own place again. When I saw the place, I fell in love with it. It had been badly vandalized during the last year since the previous owner absconded to Mozambique.

All the electrical fittings, wires, and cables were stolen. All the plumbing, including the hot water cylinder, were ripped out. Almost every room have holes in the ceilings as they were searching for the hot water cylinder, aluminum sliding doors and window frames were broken out and even the swimming pool (15 cm of filthy water) filter and pump were stolen and most of the gutters were destroyed.

The house was truly in a bad state but there were so many plusses. Four bedrooms, a massive 75 square meter barbeque room, a garage big enough for three cars, and to top it all, a cozy granny flat. Ah, and then I did not even mention the other 75 sq meter room sitting on top of the barbeque room, also with a fire place and a large balcony.

I made a ridiculous offer for the place, which I thought the bank would reject but they accepted and I became the owner of a 20-year-old ruin.



But now, only a few weeks later, I have rewired the place, restored the plumbing, and had new windows and doors fitted where they were broken out. I have contracted a plumber to install a new hot water cylinder. They installed it on Friday and I have just moved in. Now I’ll tackle the ceilings and have the place painted, leaving the pool for last. I never wanted one. Too much work!

Well, now you know what kept me away from CS for so long, and I suspect that I’ll be busy here for quite a while.

women knew......Are these REALLY the things we should know or are we missing something? We really want to know

1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

2 . Don't cut your hair. Ever.

3. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

4. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

5. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

6. Shopping is not sport.

7. Anything you wear is fine...really.

8. You have enough clothes.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

11. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

12. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

14. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

I got a call from a buddy of mine who still had some friends of my ex on his FB. He told me to go check her page. Sounded serious a call at 2am. He wouldn't tell me what was up. Was she dead? Was she now with someone I knew?? Her Dad was not well I knew that. We broke up in May 2011. OMG I wonder what is wrong?!?!

So I stumbled over to the laptop and opened up. And there on her page uploaded yesterday was a video of a baby in it's crib. I recognised the wall of her old bedroom (she must be at her home place now with the parents) and her voice speaking very affectionately to it. The captions hinted that it was her baby but nothing definite... she said thanks to a compliment someone had left 'Beautiful just like her mother'. So.. all the signs point to her child.

What I can't figure out is why I can't sleep now. There is some emotion running through my head and a tense feeling in my stomach. I'm your typical male stereotype in some respects. I recognise Anger, Happiness, and Sadness. And that's about it... other emotions I don't understand much.

So... has this happened to anyone before? I'm sure it has of course. But can you identify what I'm feeling? 'Cos I sure as hell can't.

I have been in many places,
In collaboration with an unnamed/unknown person, i'd like to share some places i have visited recently.

I’ve, been in Sane.
They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.
I have made several trips there,
thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump,
And I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in.
It's an age thing.

Called into the state of Confusion, meet many people there.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, I go there more often as I'm getting older.

I’ve been held hostage whilst in Suspense!
It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart!
At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I visited a place called in Denial, Strange place,
I feel sorry for those that live there.

I’ve been to Help sometimes, and seen people in Need.

BUT i've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito.
I hear no one recognizes you there.

Im searching for a place called Survival,

Because people in Cahoots and in Cognito,
Spend too much time in unendos.

But the best place to be is.........
in LOVE....what a place that is.

Well friends ladies and gentlemen, we've reached the point of no return.

The F22 was fired for the first time today.

With the exception of Paul Rand, it seems the country favors the war.

Question is who's really is it? I mean who's war is it? Meantime, the UN caucus is going on today, much like when it was done in Geneva during the 2nd World War.

Thanks all for your reads and comments.

I’m very fond of sardines and the other day I bough a few cans of very cheap sardines for R7.00 (about US$ 0.47) per can.

Back home I noticed that it was imported from Canada. I normally buy the Norwegian sardines at double the price. Granted, it is not as good as the Norwegian sardines, but certainly no worse that our locally produced sardines that also sell at double the price. I wonder how much it retails for in Canada. How on earth can Canada produce a product that is not inferior to our own, transport it… what… probably 15,000 miles to South Africa and still sell it at half the price?

But this is not the only fish that is imported. Baracouta (we know it as snoek), imported from New Zealand, is readily available at most our supermarkets at R30.00 (about US$ 2.00) each. Okay, they are rather small but a fresh locally caught snoek of that size will easily set you back R40.00 to R50.00 each. Once again produced at the other side of the world and transported all the way here, to be sold cheaper than our local product. How’s that?

Is our labor too expensive or our taxes too high?

And then there still is the ethic side of the matter. We have a large fishing industry but most our fishermen live under the breadline. What has happened to protecting your local industries against cheap imports?

No, I’m not pointing finger at anybody. I’m guilty too, but should government not block imports like this. We can produce enough fish for the nation without importing it.

Have a great day, and eat some fish. It is good for you.

When contacting someone new, I always seem to have difficulty deciding what to write as my opening gambit, especially if in the persons profile there is nothing specific to refer too.

What kind of pick up text attracts your attention sufficiently for you to reply?

Are far more superior than men but its the men that give them that superiority and power,...............

So - I finally got my salary offer for relocating - let's call it 15% on existing salary. Thanks, I said, but no thanks. Manager instantly said okay, 25% up on existing salary. WTH?

So - my car insurance quote came through the door, £400. 16 years with the same company, 9 years no-claim bonus, that seemed high. Same post, another insurer offering good prices, I got a quote on line. Like-for-like, plus plus, £258. I rang my insurers to say I was cancelling and they instantly reduced the £400 quote to just over £300. WTH?

How far does this haggling thing go? Let's say I'm talking to someone and he suggests meeting for a casual pub lunch. Should I be haggling? Should I counter-offer "tell you what, send a taxi to collect me and by the way you're picking up the tab" just to open the negotiations, see what his counter-offer is?

Life is all about bargaining, we know that, but it seems to have gone into a new era where perhaps we have to haggle about everything. So should we be haggling about meeting up? Maybe you already do?



By the way, the World Health Organisation recently declared that anyone who can't find a partner (mainly for procreation, but I don't think they specified) within a year of starting to look, should be classified as disabled. WTH?

NOW who wants to open negotiations?