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The last few years of my marriage were bad, the last couple were horrendous. Would things have turned out differently if I’d been a better partner? Probably, but I’ll never know for sure. Much of what went wrong was my fault, but how much of it that wasn’t is impossible to say.

I wasn’t meant to share a life with anyone, I think that much is fair to say. Now, living alone, there is certainly something about that that feels right; it seems to be in keeping with what, or who, I am. But there is also something about it that really doesn’t feel right, and, despite much self analysis, I can’t put my finger on what it is. Obviously, it has a lot to do with people, most probably of the opposite sex, but that’s about as much as I can say.

I don’t want to live with someone as half of a couple again; I do know that much, or at least I think I know it. The idea of being part of a couple on a more casual basis, not living together, and maintaining a separate life, wouldn’t seem like a bad option were it not for the fact that I can well see how it might be the thin end of a wedge with a rather dangerous thick end.

I doubt if finding a friend with benefits would be a much less risky option, and, anyway, I don’t think I could be that casual; besides, why take the risk when the benefits aren’t as compelling as they used to be? So, a friend, or friends, without problematic benefits could be the answer, although even getting the dynamics of that right is proving more complicated than I would have imagined.

On how to unblock a c*ck blocker? My stupid, drunk, and ....well, drunk to the point of not even know where he is at friend c*ck blocked me twice this past weekend.

In mid-sentence, the lady who I am speaking to stops. She turns to my friend, who just had to move to her other side, and says...that was my armpit. I am not sure what the hell he did, but I think he poked her in her armpit. WTF!? She just got up and left.

Shortly after that, we go outside to have a smoke, and two chicks follow us out. One of them was a gorgeous cutie and she was flirting with me. We were talking and joking with each other, when my friend blurts out some drunken incoherent statement. Trying to be witty, I could not come up with anything to recover from that. So there was this awkward pause. The cutie turns to her friend, and kind of quietly says, I don't know what that means. Shortly after she says that, she says to her friend, lets go, I gotta take a piss.

That was the end of that crap.

I know, it is easy. Just leave my friend at home. But, it is a bit more complicated than that. We have known each other forever and we are best friends. He is known to become like this...and really, he has absolutely no friends except me. Now I know why. ...well, actually I knew why before....but this c*ck blocking crap just adds to the previously known why. He's a good guy and all and I would feel bad about not taking him out once and a great while, once he has the rare opportunity to go out.

Another friend of mine just called me to go out tonight for the big game. I am like sure. He goes, give Bert a call (yes, the same Bert who asked the bartender to see her d*ck), and I said...hell no. And, I explained him the story. But, I don't mind going out with Bert on a weekend once in a while.

So the question is...when Ber-Tocks is out with me...and I am talking with a lady and he steps in with one of his finely crafted blocker techniques....what would you do to defuse the situation with the guy?

Dr. Map is available to answer all your questions, from problem Bears in your garden, to tuning a Webber twin Carb, relationships and general woes and agony questions, from Sex to medical and your mutton curry issues.
All questions answered, don’t be shy, I’m here to help.

Being a bitter woman, does that automatically make you right about everything? I will admit, I did do a little bit of city driving by changing into the left lane while a vehicle was still behind me in that lane but as I put my blinker on and started moving over, the lady behind me started to speed up and that did not stop me from moving over. It ended with both of us beeping our horns at each other (she beeped first...for the record). I think that is the first time I honked my horn while actually driving and moving in a car...done it a couple times if people fell asleep at the stop light.

I have one more story about bitterness...but I will not bore you.

Last week, while mending the fence, my neighbour’s wife came over to chat with me. While talking, her seven year old son joined us, asking if he could help me. The woman was astonished. I suppose with five kids in the house she could do with all the help from the children she could get.

“Why don’t you ever ask me that?” she asked him reproachfully.

The boy looked at his mother and asked;”Mommy, can I help the uncle?”

I suppose that boys, even at that age, don’t want to do “a woman’s work”.


Eish, Sunday allready. the weekend is allmost over!

Today I bring you a delicacy of true African cuisine! A mutton dish better than the best rib, roasted on a bed of charcoal. A Baked Sheep Head.

Yes, you read it right! No word play here. A real sheep’s head. It contains a lot of meat and is relatively cheap. Most butchers around here can supply you with a well cleaned head. It is so easy to prepare; even a man can do it!

When you get home, inspect the head and remove any hair still on it. I use a cutthroat to ‘shave’ it. Then saw the head across the top into two halves, but leave lower jaw intact. I use a garden saw to do this. You could ask the butcher to do it as well.

Flap the two halves open and clean out the nose section (easy, if it is not already done), but leave the brains in place. Another delicacy on toast - or just as it is.

Push the two halves together and clamp with a skewer. I use three bended canvas needles for this.

Dampen the head and rub some course salt on it. I normally sprinkle some barbeque spice at this stage too.

Preheat the oven to 160º C and bake for 4 hours.

Enjoy. Mine is only going into the oven now. You can eat it hot or cold. I prefer it cold. It tastes like something between a roasted rib and a sheep neck.

Here in Africa, women are not allowed to eat the tongue; it makes them talk too much, they say.

Eating the brains has a side effect though.

I find that if I share it with some female company, they mill around me for days and follow me in a line where ever I go; bleating like … Oh shut up, Catfoot!


Enjoy your day too!

Why it's the cone of silence of course.
There has been a lot of noise lately so i thought it best that there be a blog full of and total silence.
Feel free to join me here where there will be nothing but silence.

Being a person who always searches for a logical and reasonable way, these days I felt I needed to get to know more about aggressiveness, regarding the atmosphere on CS blogs lately. What I read, can be summed up in the following way:

There are two main reasons for aggressiveness:

1. Fear (of being hurt, revealed, abandoned, etc), therefore the aggressive behavior is self-defence through attacking;

2. Striving for justice (defence of someone, of some idea, cause, etc), therefore the aggression is a try to make the world a better place through imposing some "ideal model".

The aggressiveness has many faces, from mocking, sneaky comments, and sarcasm to direct personal attacks (here I won t comment the physical aggressiveness which is not relevant in our case).

The first impulse of the attacked one is to reply with the same and even more so the initial attack soon turns into a fight where there might be a logical winner (the one who uses strongest arguments or the attacked one) but actually there is no winner. Why? Because the aggressiveness unlocks irrational energies, where the logic and common sense always fail. The irritation, fear, fury, jealousy, envy, and hatred are very strong feelings coming from the dark realm of the unconscious, and drag us back to the uncivilized.

What to do when we meet aggressiveness? Obviously, there are two ways: to react or not to react. They both have their strong arguments. The psychologists suggest several steps to deal with aggressiveness. First of all, to try to understand the attacking person. To see their fears, or other reasons. Not to speculate with them, though. Understanding the other helps us seeing them rationally and with empathy, not as some furious monster who menaces our inner peace. This understanding extinguishes our anger and stops us from replying to the attack with attack.
A second step could be either ignoring the attacks or replying in a firm but calm and polite way.

Remember: You can never change the other person. You can t "bribe" an attacking person with kindness nor defeat them with logic. Better focus on yourself and leave them fighting with their demons.

Pro Domo Sua

The net and especially CS (blogs) unlock aggressiveness in many people, including me. For quite a time I have asked myself why. The well-known argument of feeling safe while being hidden behind the pc is true. We d never talk to someone the way we talk here if it was eyes in eyes.
But for me, there is another, more intriguing reason. The weird, awful familiarity between people on the net. The luxury to share everything, even the most intimate stuff with random people has a very high price: we get terribly familiar with these people and therefore we lose our private space. There are no limits between us anymore which means no inhibitions for our interference in the personal life of completely unknown people. We allow ourselves to give advice and to comment without being asked, to be mentors, to ask arrogant questions etc, etc, everything that in "real life" would be considered utterly unkind and out of the bonton.

I myself, having some intelligence, logic and ability to express myself well, have been tempted to feel superior to many here. Yes there are silly people, hypocrites, mean people, arrogant ones, etc, etc. I felt it my "cause" here to defend justice and to impose some ideal model on CS blogs. Model which was in my head and according to which everybody here should be smart, interesting, writing great intelligent blogs, not attacking each other, always saying the truth, etc.
Totally unreal aim. The world and CS blogs in particular, are far from perfection. We can t make the fool clever, the hypocrite frank, the mean one an angel.

We can only work on ourselves and express ourselves in a balanced way. Whoever has ears will hear, whoever has eyes will see.

Some of us live in the Present...Some of us Live In the Past..And yet Some of Us are Living in the Future....Some People right now are Living In the Tomorrow Im waiting for to Come...And Those People Living In My Tomorrow are Looking Back at me Living in their Yesterday...And the People that are Living in My Yesterday are Looking at Me Living In their Tomorrow.....I think I got that right,,,But for some reason I think theres something Missing.........

South Africa is one of the least lawful countries on earth, with the 5th highest number of total crimes reported in 2002. Bet its much worse now. Some 32,000 of the 2.6 million crimes were murders with firearms, placing the country top of the global table, and 11,000 were manslaughters, the 2nd highest number. Unsurprisingly then, South Africa has an army of 101,000 in their police force.

I know men will have a different viewpoint as I know what my reaction would have been.

You are a soft hearted, law abiding, decent down to earth lady with a good education.

One day on a peaceful Sunday afternoon while sitting at your desk in your room, reading the blogs while Skyping with a friend you hear a strange noise way down in the other side of your home.

You excuse yourself and go take a look what has caused this noise. Halfway down the passage a tanned man....and not purple or pink) armed with a crowbar comes around the corner. You are unarmed defenceless thinking your home is your sanctuary. After the initial shock you realise no one will hear your screams, the neighbours are more than 200 meters away ....

Sorry I don't have the gift of telling a story soo

What would YOU have done?