STRETCH
Ah a little smile for the day cheers all :) Some fun with the honey do list:) lol.
Haiku Confetti Summer Day
Swords of wit slicing Haiku confetti summer Settling bits and bytes
One Fine Day (Anon)
My Great-Grandfather used to read this to me as a boy.
Chauvinist
A somewhat inflammatory gesture from an old male chauvinist,now reformed I hope. The submissive trait lingers in many women as evinced by the popularity of certain publications.
A drunkards poem #2
Once a pun a TIm e.. ¥ 2 +9 ------- = 4 ANy wa y. On ce a pond a t ime a wom@n went to LIVE I n thE woods She ESCAPED from the IRS.. $ She said thE IRS was a Whore$ She traveled dow n a Narrow path And a green Chicken chewe
You can't play in my yard I don't love you anymore
Oh! The ways of woman ... I have been used as a Boy Toy and then thrown away! Boo Hoo!
The Three Little Pigs - A New Story (Part 3 of 4)
On his way coming home A trailer papa pig rented To load all things from in house Across the street to be moving The beds, the lounge, all dining room And even the TV was loaded Not a thing was left behind Except three cups, plates and spoon
Just Because(Macduff5 Challenge
The temptation to take up Macduff5's challenge is strong. I started thinking of being Jamaican but filed it for another time
Yankee and his pony ...
It's in my head still .
My bro jim,
I just saw another poets poem called jim and I too have a brother called jim, He is a character and very funny ,,we miss him but he be home soon with girlfriend and will be a dad soon ,,
My Remembering Ability Is Aging!!!
As we age we tend to lose our ability to keep up with some certain things as human not because we are clueless or careless but because nature can't be outrun so its a gift of life we should appreciate as human.
The Debt Man
The Debt Man I found a begging letter lying behind my front door, just because I am a debtor the debt man asked for more. I tell the stupid debt man, “No blood money do I own you only get from a poor man the blood you get from stone!” Thre
murphys troubles
The policeman asked murphy "What's afoot?" as murphy lay nearby. "as a rule it is 12 inches and on that you can rely." "Are you trying to be funny" he said in much disdain and muttered quietly within "this ones going to be a pain." "So wh
Come Gather Round
For some strange reason when I was writing this the tune to Bob Dylan's The Times They Are a Changin' kept running through my mind. If you feel like amusing yourself read it with that tune in mind
SELECTION OF
AWAKE AT 2.30 AM WHEN THESE CAME TO MY HEAD
the worst of times
Ummmmm Yeaaaaaa That was not a SHE OMG!!!
grumpy old men/gone past caring.
wrote this poem,to perform it on stage,at a charity event,I helped organise,planned for good friday,at the boathouse bar,salisbury,wilts,it's a comedy& cabaret night,hopefully it will attract lots of people,to contribute to the charity funds.
Welcome 2017!
2017. It's all for humour, so dun take it seriously :)
Bus, Plane, Train and Automobile
Heading home and stopped for milk But then temptation grabbed me Stopped at shop to look at wine Sign said clearance items here At five dollars a bottle We're getting rid of these label wines To replace them with our own There was sparkling st
The Jessetradamus Prophecies (Mr Cafe Challenge)
Mr Jim I also see in my visions that you will return my over due library books
Me and You!
There's two, there's me and there's you, together a pair, soo interesting they stare, we talk aloud and sing in unision, a conflicting complexity of pathetic derision, you speak, say the first line, I complete thats neat, its yours and its mine
Anyone for Tennis??
This was written many years ago about a girl on the tennis court who, when serving, always stuck the second tennis ball down the front of her tennis shirt. One day I yelled out to her "don't toss the wrong one" and she replied "the wrong one will NEVER get tossed" to which we all laughed and laughed. So I sat down and wrote this funny little poem and she became one of my best friends...
Lost for words!
Hope you agree with me!
Girl from Nantucket
Why do Nantucket limericks get such a bad rap?
And then there was.........
For the not so sensitive souls....lol....funny what one remembers from school......Andrew...xxx
Someone, Anyone, No One......
It is really quite amusing.... Joining these online social dating sites In the hope of finding someone.... Nothing happens for someone just won't be found, Then we start looking for anyone..... But anyone isn't really around.... Then we slowly
Cabernet Sauvignon
Just playing with words and picked this out whilst in the kitchen "Cabernet Sauvignon" :-)
I'm your handiman
Ok..I do Home Improvement..lol. Call me..
Gone Fishing Part 1
I wrote this to remind myself that sometimes a little patience is required before you find what you are looking for. :)
Ode To Thee CS
Ode to watersandthewild poetry cafe poem. I felt moved so i allowed me to be swayed for this poem i give to you.
Faulty
Ok so I wrote this because a female asked me to be totally truthful and then she laughed at me because I had nothing to hide. Truth this has always been one of my problem with females they don't like to hear the truth.
She Who Lives In a Cave
I once knew a Lady who lived far away In the hillside a cave her abode On her knees she would pray every day Send someone for me to love Up on a charger rode a knight It was the one with a massive V8 For you my Dear a dragon I’ll fight And t
Poem #3
OMG! I think I better run! lol.
LG
I knew they had a life of their own
Empowered drama kings (lol)
Once upon a time I used to snivel I'd even swivel with a snivel But the mayor of Snivelsville called a town meeting 'Hark unto me O thou snivelers of Snivelsville.' 'Cast thy snot rags to the wind..' 'Let not thy drama torn hairy chest
A Thousand Challenge
I'm not really a poet, but I do have fun adding to something someone else starts! :) P.S.Hi Kickit!
mans best friend
You know they say they’re mans best friend…. They’ll love you til the very end.. They wag their tails and smile that smile… That makes you know they left a pile… But when your down and really blue… They’re always there to comfort you… That’
Holy balloons on the moon
I am winter when I am Africa and Africa is me in summer time floating down the Mississippi with holy balloons on the moon !
a love match
it's all in the racket and how it swings ;-)
I INTENDED TO CALL
A friend shared her story. It was so funny I had to write.
Two many mirrors
Too many mirrors. Continuing with the fun theme.
How Can I Resist You
My new love, a Mediterranean scroll fresh from the bakery