Most Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Happy, Happy Birthday Itchy! May you have many more!

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died."

Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"

Chuck said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month Later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"

Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars apiece and made a profit of $2495."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back."

Many of us over 60, especially those WAY over 60, may be confused about how we should present ourselves in public. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. And for those of you receiving this who are no where near 60 yet, keep reading anyway -- you'll be there.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist

11. Bikinis and liver spots

12. Short shorts and varicose veins

13. In-line skates and a walker

And the ultimate 'Bad Taste' in fashion:

14. A thong and Depends

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you are out in public.

---
This is good advice – I made a copy and carry it with me on my shopping trips so I know what not to buy. (Darn, had some of these on my list!

For the lack of better blog subject matter, has anyone seen the movie Keanu....about a stolen cat trying to be retrieved?




....I seen previews to it, it seems like it would be a great comedy...seeing I am more of a cat person.


BTW...

What about that commercial with the crazy cat lady making hats for cats?

I think I'm going to get sick...very sick

I'm still at work but I feel so tired ( on Monday!) and just had 2 tablets of Advil ( The Advanced Medicine For Pain) and on my 3rd cup of warm tea ( Lipton )

I think I'm being punished...I came to work with a box full of yummy Sushi and a very cold can of Coke knowing full well it's the first day of Ramadan and everybody in the office is fasting Well, I invited everyone to share the Sushi with me but all of them gave me a murderous look while I'm enjoying it in front of them...it's was just my way of saying that I love them all and they know my humor very well and I know they don't care really

Ramadan Karim to all Muslim members here

and of course Happy Monday to everyone

Pharmacist to customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription. Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough".

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – "Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied – "My husband's cheque book"

A prospective husband in a book store "Do you have a book called,'Husband – the Master of the House'?
Sales Girl : "Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor".

Someone asked an old man: "Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What's the secret?"
Old man: "I forgot her name and I'm scared to ask her


Husband to wife – "Today is a fine day."
Next day he says: "Today is a fine day."
Again next day, he says same thing – "Today is a fine day."
Finally, after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband – "Since last week, you have been saying ; Today is a fine day. I am fed up. What's the matter?"
Husband : "Last week when we had an argument, you said, I will leave you one fine day. I was just trying to remind you."

I want to wish one of the very nice ladies here on the blogs, a very, very Happy Birthday....CANDYKISSES! I wish you many, many more!!!

Help me to celebrate her birthday!

If the pen is mightier than the sword, why do actions speak louder than words?

Pretoria - A house robber is in hospital after he was slashed with a sword in Bassonia, Johannesburg, on Friday. The man was part of a gang of three who tried breaking into a house in the early hours of Friday morning. "The house owner heard them and woke up. When he went to investigate, he saw three men in the house. They tried to attack him and he reached for a display sword and defended himself,"



BELOW:And its a well known fact that our Police Force imports these pens in BULK for making out the crime dockets.

If CS was just bloggers blogland, what would the CS stand for ?

Colourful storytellers


Competitive singletons

Crazy Seniors

Caring Souls

Creative sociopaths

....of to Jakarta on Business then off to Bali...anyone wanna meet for coffee in Jakarta..?