Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Most Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
B-days and Reunions!
I knew this man Johnny from my high school days in Ordway, Colorado where I attended school for 11 years. Well, as they always do the years passed by and lots of life happened. Some good and some bad. B-days and classmates slipped away and I never gave them much thought. It's like the Tennessee Ernie Ford "16 Tons" song. The lyrics include this sentence. ".....another year older and deeper in debt". Hee Hee Kinda paraphrased my life.
Suddenly outta nowhere I start getting e-mails from Johnny about the "Class of '59" and all the "stuff" in life that happened to everyone in our class. OK, I read them for awhile and I was informed who had a lumbago acting up, whose in drugs, whose an "alky", whose ingrown toenail is acting up and when we were having reunions. And on and on.
The reunions were never too successful because no one cared. This could be said for my class, no one cared! If we were having a float in the homecoming parade it was ok and only a few showed up to work on it. The list of "no interest whatsoever" goes on for the Class of "59.
Today is my birthday! WHOOPEEEE! I'm another year older and deeper in debt. My family needs to celebrate so I'm a good sport besides I like seeing my family. My sister asked me what to prepare and I said, "How about a can of chili beans and some cornbread". I was serious and my sister said, "Ed, when are you going to grow up?". I should have said, "Never" but I didn't. I just
to myself and didn't say a word.
Johnny also reminded me and I did respond with a "Thank You". That's what brought up this blog. Johnny, I am sure told all the living classmates that I had a birthday but I just hope he didn't. I don't care to send all the "Thank You's" out.
OH YEAH! The class reunions. I still don't go to them.
Suddenly outta nowhere I start getting e-mails from Johnny about the "Class of '59" and all the "stuff" in life that happened to everyone in our class. OK, I read them for awhile and I was informed who had a lumbago acting up, whose in drugs, whose an "alky", whose ingrown toenail is acting up and when we were having reunions. And on and on.
The reunions were never too successful because no one cared. This could be said for my class, no one cared! If we were having a float in the homecoming parade it was ok and only a few showed up to work on it. The list of "no interest whatsoever" goes on for the Class of "59.
Today is my birthday! WHOOPEEEE! I'm another year older and deeper in debt. My family needs to celebrate so I'm a good sport besides I like seeing my family. My sister asked me what to prepare and I said, "How about a can of chili beans and some cornbread". I was serious and my sister said, "Ed, when are you going to grow up?". I should have said, "Never" but I didn't. I just
to myself and didn't say a word.Johnny also reminded me and I did respond with a "Thank You". That's what brought up this blog. Johnny, I am sure told all the living classmates that I had a birthday but I just hope he didn't. I don't care to send all the "Thank You's" out.
OH YEAH! The class reunions. I still don't go to them.
I am silly.....
Who is the most silly or ridiculous blogger in this land?
Of course I will not ask who the best or smart or any other good thing of blogger... I am sure the answer will be many.
But the one I ask? Any body dare to name it?
It is just for fun but you may upset if your name is mentioned...
Have a nice week end every one....
Of course I will not ask who the best or smart or any other good thing of blogger... I am sure the answer will be many.
But the one I ask? Any body dare to name it?
It is just for fun but you may upset if your name is mentioned...
Have a nice week end every one....
The New Boss (True Story)
If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and
thinking things through, you will love this.
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake up, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of
workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”
The CEO said, “Wait right here.”
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay.
Now GET OUT and don’t come back!!”
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”
From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”
thinking things through, you will love this.
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake up, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of
workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”
The CEO said, “Wait right here.”
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay.
Now GET OUT and don’t come back!!”
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”
From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”
They Walk Among Us!
They Walk Among Us----
A guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge (still working), he put it in his front yard and hung a Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted.....
"Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said..."Where?"
While looking at a house, my brother asked the
estate agent which direction was north because
he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for some time. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
When we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she "didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving."
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
And last, but not least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks
TRUE STORY:
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi (Speaker of the United States House of Representatives)happened to appear. Ms. Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble.. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Sadly, they walk among us! And, MORE sadly, hold high offices!!!:
-------:
A guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge (still working), he put it in his front yard and hung a Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted.....
"Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said..."Where?"
While looking at a house, my brother asked the
estate agent which direction was north because
he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for some time. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
When we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she "didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving."
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
And last, but not least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks
TRUE STORY:
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi (Speaker of the United States House of Representatives)happened to appear. Ms. Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble.. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Sadly, they walk among us! And, MORE sadly, hold high offices!!!:
-------:
No more need to be fussy ladies...
..the answer is here.
1. Are you sitting at home waiting of that perfect man to arrive ?
2. Is life getting you down because the choice of men are lean in the trouser snake dept ?
3. Is your current man large but shit in bed and grumpy.
The answer is here, no more waiting for the perfect man with the perfect chopper.
With the new cream that lovely guy with the small d*ck need not be at the bottom of the list, but your perfect match.
**No va*ina were harmed during the research and development of this cream**
1. Are you sitting at home waiting of that perfect man to arrive ?
2. Is life getting you down because the choice of men are lean in the trouser snake dept ?
3. Is your current man large but shit in bed and grumpy.
The answer is here, no more waiting for the perfect man with the perfect chopper.
With the new cream that lovely guy with the small d*ck need not be at the bottom of the list, but your perfect match.
**No va*ina were harmed during the research and development of this cream**
Bill Clinton At The Pearly Gates
The scene: HEAVEN
The year: 2031
President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven.
"And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World."
"Oh... Mr. President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter.
"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.
"Sure," says the Saint, "but first you have to confess your sins. What bad things have you done in your life?"
Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 's*xual relations' And I made some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."
With that, St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call it hell.' You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have to 'abandon all hope,' just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.
The year: 2031
President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven.
"And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World."
"Oh... Mr. President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter.
"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.
"Sure," says the Saint, "but first you have to confess your sins. What bad things have you done in your life?"
Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 's*xual relations' And I made some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."
With that, St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call it hell.' You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have to 'abandon all hope,' just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.
online today!
It's FESTIVUS! For The REST OF US!
A Ghost of Festivus Past. Time to see some familiar faces - & remember some we've not seen in awhile. Or old faces with new names.
Whatever.
Happy Festivus '19, y'all
Yep. December 23. Festivus -
The most irreverent of celebrations - and the fastest growing Holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
Time to set up the bare aluminum Festivus Pole!
(Remember - tinsel is distracting.
).
Cook up your spaghetti! Or meatloaf! Or...whatever!
Pump up for the Feats Of Strength!
Make out your list for the Airing Of Grievances!
(Some of us have been rushing the season on this, haven't we? Yeah! I think we have. )
And remember - It doesn't end 'til the head of the house has been forcibly pinned to the ground!
HAPPY FESTIVUS, Y'ALL!!!
And may we all receive our special Festivus Miracle, Every One!
Whatever.
Happy Festivus '19, y'all
Yep. December 23. Festivus -
The most irreverent of celebrations - and the fastest growing Holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
Time to set up the bare aluminum Festivus Pole!
(Remember - tinsel is distracting.
).Cook up your spaghetti! Or meatloaf! Or...whatever!
Pump up for the Feats Of Strength!
Make out your list for the Airing Of Grievances!
(Some of us have been rushing the season on this, haven't we? Yeah! I think we have. )
And remember - It doesn't end 'til the head of the house has been forcibly pinned to the ground!
HAPPY FESTIVUS, Y'ALL!!!
And may we all receive our special Festivus Miracle, Every One!
Had to share........
Enjoy!!!!
makes great stocking stuffers for Christmas
makes great stocking stuffers for Christmas
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »