Most Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Which was more an on and off relationship

A seesaw realationship



Yet I stayed on too see how low can one steep

And he steeped very low. So low he could smell the ground

Faking his feelings. Or trying too

A man of many faces

A real fake A great actor

Or so he thought

I was sooooooo much in playing detective

And I was playing his game

He was too entertaining....... his lies and bull....t



But when I had enough of his bulls....t

Off with his head

A knight in tin foil

So....... I called in the clowns

Hey...YOU....... dont give a damn what you tell your friends



Couldnt care less

I have better things to do. Like living my life

A lot of misery last night on Twitter because of David Bowie, and one of my unhappy friends tweeted a link to a film scene featuring him. I looked, to be polite, and oh my the film starred my favourite actor, Jeff Goldblum. I have no idea why I have such a massive teenage-level crush on a man who has turned into a fly, been half-eaten by a T Rex, and has eyes that bulge with horror so often he’s practically pop-eyed, but there it is, I do. Tall dark intense brilliant geeks? Yes PLEASE.



oh lord, I said, I have a passion for Jeff Goldblum. May watch this over and over all night.

AND JEFF GOLDBLUM RESPONDED TO MY TWEET.

I hope you do, he said, hur hur hur. And he attached a video clip of himself laughing.

Okay, it’s only 12 January, but that is the biggest rush I’ve had this year. No question.

I put this under the heading of..Comedy



Like a lot of Americans, each morning in elementary and high school, I to stand up before the U.S. flag, put my hand on my heart, and pledge allegiance to the United States of America. While it was a mindless routine for most of us, the meaning behind the ritual was clear: that the U.S. was exceptional, a beacon of liberty and justice in the world. But after considering the trail of blood, coups and bombs that continues to follow the U.S. flag wherever it flies, it’s safe to say that the U.S. is exceptional in many things; liberty and justice are not among them.

Take the following statistics: Roughly 405,000 people have been killed as a result of the violence and infrastructure damage of the U.S.-led War in Iraq. The U.S. is number two, behind Russia, in its nuclear weapons stockpile, with 7,400 warheads (Third is France, with 300.) The U.S. leads the world in military spending, with more than $7.6 trillion spent on the military and homeland security since 9/11. Washington is also a major threat to its own citizens: the U.S. is the world’s largest incarcerator of people, both in numbers and in proportion to its population, with 2.3 million in prison, 1 million of whom are African American.

Much of the violence around the world today can be linked back to U.S. imperial adventures abroad. The rise of ISIS in Iraq has been traced to the US war in the country. In an article on ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the New York Times explained, “At every turn, Mr. Baghdadi’s rise has been shaped by the United States’ involvement in Iraq – most of the political changes that fueled his fight, or led to his promotion, were born directly from some American action.” As far as the recent terrorist attack in France, University of Michigan History Professor Juan Cole writes that one of the attackers was pushed toward “fundamentalist vigilanteism” by the war in Iraq and by Abu Ghraib torture. The wave of drug war-related violence sweeping Latin America is also directly tied to the U.S. role in militarizing the region in the name of the war on drugs, a conflict which since 2006 has taken over 100,000 lives in Mexico alone.

So I am sitting online while my speaker phone plays music with static. Awhile back I was informed my wait time for an operator will be approximately 39 minutes. TG for speaker phones. I remember the old days when a recording like that meant you had to actually hold the phone that whole time. Not any more. Speaker on, do what you want.

So yes, I am noticing we now have 3, count them, THREE, CS members who suffer from a condition I call dailypostthisitis. Every calendar day they MUST post a new question blog or a photo. If they do not terrible things happen to them.

Two of these poor unfortunate souls daily post questions on serious (to them) topics such as 'do you believe in sunrise?,' 'can birds really fly?,' 'do men like women with no hair?.' 'do women like men with no hair?.' 'do men like women who own televisons?.' 'gorls, do you like men who own tellivisions?,' etc., etc. Now these two cases are female, so perhaps this is why questions are their symptom of the disease as the only male here with this condition makes pictorial statements. I have communicated with that long time sufferer many times and he is aware of and making headway in dealing with the symptoms. Not so the two females alas. The root causes of dailypostthisitis are not fully understood, but it is probably related to empty lives and loneliness coupled with a belief the Internet isn't real. We wish these women well in coping with the symptoms of this terrible malady.

I have something ridiculously important to accomplish today which is why I am (still) holding on my phone. You see this past Friday I, for the first time ever, learned my pension began over a year ago. Previously, for those in my situation the old rules were no pension until age 62. But a few years ago Congress changed that rule and for my situation my pension begins at age 60. Someone forgot to tell me that. Yeah, I am not a happy camper. To actually get the money all I have to do is complete an online form and enter certain information my former employer has provided. Yes, I remember getting that letter 20 something years ago and placing it under a desk blotter for safekeeping. If my memory is correct I believe one of the cats used it and the blotter as toilet paper 15 years ago. Alternatively one can contact their former agency and collect the needed information there. Hmmm, a problem surfaces. There were some major re-organizations after 9/11 and my old agency simply no longer exists with different functions (three of which I handled in more peaceful days) going to other agencies. So, after 2o something years, which one has my data? So with a half completed online form, I sit on telephone hold while I try to find my data, so I can complete the form and get my money. Aaargh. This is call two. The first one kept me waiting for over an hour before a human told me not his agency and provided this second phone number which is where I am sitting today. Will my pension money be supplied retroactively to the day it was supposed to start (if someone had bothered to tell me of the rule change it would have), or have I simply lost a year's worth of income? I dunno yet. That will be my next question to find out an answer to, after I locate the missing data. Since I am again (needlessly with the new pension law) battling my bank to avoid foreclosure, a big fat check about now would be really nice.

It seems to me that I'm the only guy that was silly enough to use my real name (or Partly) as a CS handle. My full name is actually Luke Onassis (LukeOn). Yes, family to Aristotle.

Just wondering if anyone else also used their real name on CS or partly?

Its a fun day here in SA.

am so ashame I went to the restaurant to purchse a meal for just 300 $ jmd. I stood in a long waiting line with urge to pay my cashier .no sooner I was there standing in front the cashier with just my 300$ . I order a mini lunch which consist of only rice n peas and French fry chicken just then I trust my 300$ through the tinted glass window to a cashier in disguised . who suddenly push back the money to me .
she said: have you not see how much a mini lunch cost ?
I said : yes I gave you 300$ dallors .
she said; lady this lunch is for 350$ , our lunch special price have increase since January 2015.
I STOOD froze as other customer was just behind me waiting to be served , I searched in my mind if I have had any silvers left over in my hand bag , but the truth is that I went in with just 300$. a sudden shame cloth my face and all eyes were on me.
I was well dress up as if I have it all with lip stick that paint perfectly on my lips not to mention my classic make -up and Brazilian hair extension , my red heels and a classy white dress that sits comfortable on my hips.
my day gradually became dim when one kind gentle man came over to me and said here is a 50$ help to pay for your lunch.. I said: thanks in a bold voice as if I knew him long time .
sitting at the table waiting for my lunch , in seconds it was delivered to me . I start to dig in that chicken and rice.

accidentally I bit something peppery.it must have being cooked in the rice or something. I was used to pepper but this was generally hot and burning like Furness of fire: omg . I need water I ask the waitress for it she said: Miss , water is for 100$ . we don't give water we sell it!

shame shame I put the lunch in a garbage bin and step out
what to do. in my bag I only have a mint sweet and that's not good with pepper.

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.


I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the
way much faster now.




You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they
are holding a gun, she's probably pretty upset.




Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they
drink like their fathers.




You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like
someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.




I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word
"premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.




I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.




I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it
the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.




Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for
murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?




Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

The Irish are such a jolly lot...... even their critters get involved .....




......