Most Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Many people sell things due to their name or brand...and now introducing a Trump- Lee Greenwood Bible called "God Bless America Bible" and apparently Trump has many bibles...

How does it feel to be a bloger.......?......?.............?

Ordering a Pizza in 2022

CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?

GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.

GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.

CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:
Super! That’s what I’ll have.

GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!

GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:
How the hell do you know that?

GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another Pharmacy.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:
I paid in cash.

GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!

CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!

GOOGLE:
I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already! Just like Dan_777 I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to the island that rizlared sez is a paradise, without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...

Welcome to the future ??

Please, don't shoot!, So, I forgot your birthday!......Calm down, tomorrow is a new,,, ok,, don't bother,,,,
So, what would you write on your tombstone?

We don't need to get philosophical about it. It makes a sound. It does. Do you need to see webcam video as proof? It makes a sound and that's my final answer!

This is a kinda follow on to Ash's Full Moon blog.

I heard that there was going to be something called a drum circle at Da Lake* to celebrate the rising of the Strawberry Full Moon.
As I enjoy music, I thought I'd head down to the beach & take it in.

Some nice young lady had thoughtfully prepared home made cookies for the event.
Very generous of her!
They were very tasty...I know they contained chocolate chips.

Anyway.
As the young lady passed her plate of cookies around, she described them as 'pot cookies'.



I'd never heard of anything so crazy.

PAN cakes? Well, yeah. I've heard of those. Who hasn't, right?

But...POT cookies?!
How does one make cookies in a POT?!
And WHY?
Wouldn't one use a cookie sheets to make cookies?
IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

BUT -
Those cookies sure were good!
Odd...it somehow slipped my mind to ask the nice young lady for the recipe.


So...
If any of y'all have a recipe for pot cookies, I'd sure appreciate it if you'd share it.
Or, for that matter, just explain how cookies are made in a pot.

Never heard of anything so crazy!
But they sure were good cookies, you betcha!

*Da Lake - Here 'bouts, Da Lake always & only refers to Lake Michigan.

...

It appears that the men on the island that i live have certain category's
It goes as follows.

They are married
.so they only want sex.
They are engaged so they only want sex
They have girlfriends but want more sex.
If they are single which is very rare. They will be mummies boys and trust me do not cross mother she will shoot you.
And her demand will be son you must find a virgin coz if she has slept with other men be sure she will have a sex disease.......... Yep they are out there.
You then have ( and this is mainly the English) If you sleep with them on a first date you are a whore if you dont you are a lesbian. NICE....
And lastly you have the boys who dive straight in with you are to old for a relationship so can i just f*ck you

Oh the joys of being single...............
Think i gotta find me another Island.........

One person has a dream now everyone is dreaming....
So I'm going to give my predictions for CS blogs
Please bear with me as the mist of time is hard to part on occasion

First a man in a big hat will post a blog

I see the letters O and L in some sort of combination

Perhaps OOL or LLO ???

Second a man made of string will see a natural weather event as a prediction of the end of the world .

Third

2 bloggers one male one female will claim that a random comment made on a random blog was directed at them ...

And write a counter blog in retaliation



A troll will use one of his many profiles
To attack woman THEN write a whining blog claiming everyone is against him....


Will add more predictions as the mist parts. ...

This is too hilarious and it would be a sin not to share it here

Beautiful Sunday here. Just had my second mug of hot chocolate

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!

Q: What do you call a dog who can do magic?

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A: Labracadabrador