Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Most Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Tables, Unsung Heros
You looked at the blog title and thought, “stupid Map writing garbage again” but tables are the most misunderstood and ignored furniture in our world today.
We use tables all the time, you are probably using one now, but spare a thought for the pain and hardship it endures while it provides you with a smooth sturdy surface to put your things and shit on.
Did you know that tables originate from the Roman era? They used to use piles of slaughtered slaves until Pontius Surfacious complained he couldn’t scribe stuff onto his parchment as it was too lumpy, A kind hearted citizen simply placed a piece of timber on the pile of dead slaves and the table was born.
In 1917 tables volunteered to fight in the trenches, one table received the George Cross for bravery by charging a machine gun nest and saving a regiment from certain death.
We all know that Yuri Gagarin was the first person in space after that dog Laika managed to do it, but in 1958 an oak coffee table was the first table in space and to successfully carry out a spacewalk.
Do you know how many tables you keep as slaves? And what do you think about them?
We use tables all the time, you are probably using one now, but spare a thought for the pain and hardship it endures while it provides you with a smooth sturdy surface to put your things and shit on.
Did you know that tables originate from the Roman era? They used to use piles of slaughtered slaves until Pontius Surfacious complained he couldn’t scribe stuff onto his parchment as it was too lumpy, A kind hearted citizen simply placed a piece of timber on the pile of dead slaves and the table was born.
In 1917 tables volunteered to fight in the trenches, one table received the George Cross for bravery by charging a machine gun nest and saving a regiment from certain death.
We all know that Yuri Gagarin was the first person in space after that dog Laika managed to do it, but in 1958 an oak coffee table was the first table in space and to successfully carry out a spacewalk.
Do you know how many tables you keep as slaves? And what do you think about them?
Consistent Testing results for AG, Bill Barr
Today from The New Yorker;
No real surprise. He's passed the test of no integrity since being appointed.
Whether it was the untruthful interpretation of Mueller's report, pressuring prosecutors, or
judges, clearly he has no loyalty to the judicial system, nor justice in general.
His loyalty is only to his mob boss.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Bill Barr Tests Negative for Integrity
By Andy Borowitz
May 8, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a test result that he called “a tremendous relief,” the Attorney General, Bill Barr, has tested negative for integrity, Barr confirmed on Friday.
Barr submitted to the test after learning that he had come into contact with career Justice Department prosecutors who were found to be integrity carriers.
“When I learned that there were still people at the Justice Department with integrity, I was understandably furious,” Barr told reporters. “I told them to go home at once.”
Barr said that he was putting into place new protocols that would require Justice Department employees to be tested for integrity before entering the building.
“I thought that anyone with integrity had already left the Justice Department, but apparently I was mistaken,” he said. “It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
Although he was elated to learn that he had tested negative for integrity, Barr said that he shuddered to think how close he came to contracting the dreaded virtue.
“Having integrity would have made it impossible for me to work for President Trump,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Bill Barr Tests Negative for Integrity
By Andy Borowitz
May 8, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a test result that he called “a tremendous relief,” the Attorney General, Bill Barr, has tested negative for integrity, Barr confirmed on Friday.
Barr submitted to the test after learning that he had come into contact with career Justice Department prosecutors who were found to be integrity carriers.
“When I learned that there were still people at the Justice Department with integrity, I was understandably furious,” Barr told reporters. “I told them to go home at once.”
Barr said that he was putting into place new protocols that would require Justice Department employees to be tested for integrity before entering the building.
“I thought that anyone with integrity had already left the Justice Department, but apparently I was mistaken,” he said. “It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
Although he was elated to learn that he had tested negative for integrity, Barr said that he shuddered to think how close he came to contracting the dreaded virtue.
“Having integrity would have made it impossible for me to work for President Trump,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
No real surprise. He's passed the test of no integrity since being appointed.
Whether it was the untruthful interpretation of Mueller's report, pressuring prosecutors, or
judges, clearly he has no loyalty to the judicial system, nor justice in general.
His loyalty is only to his mob boss.
Who is John Galt?
In an idyllic world conformity is priceless.
But wait a minute, really?
Meaning expressing your sentiments that's rather different isn't permitted?
Behold, we're now headed to an irreversible world, says the Master.
Being human, being an individual, being different will soon a thing of the past.
I hold my breath.
"In yet another warning against artificial intelligence, Elon Musk said that AI is likely to overtake humans in the next five years. He said that artificial intelligence will be vastly smarter than humans and would overtake the human race by 2025.Jul 29, 2020"
HE'S MY NEW HERO
But wait a minute, really?
Meaning expressing your sentiments that's rather different isn't permitted?
Behold, we're now headed to an irreversible world, says the Master.
Being human, being an individual, being different will soon a thing of the past.
I hold my breath.
"In yet another warning against artificial intelligence, Elon Musk said that AI is likely to overtake humans in the next five years. He said that artificial intelligence will be vastly smarter than humans and would overtake the human race by 2025.Jul 29, 2020"
HE'S MY NEW HERO
Too Tired To Touch Myself!
Working a lot these days...exhausted when I finally lay in bed at night, no time to think nor do anything else, just sleep and drag myself out of bed in the morning. What a life... or something like it
It's good that I'm single or my partner would probably take off with someone who can give him time and s*xual satisfaction
Work and money have taken over most of our lives, we tend to put people and things aside and put our work above anything else but in times we need company and comfort the most, it's loved ones that we long for.
My older friends keep telling me to enjoy sex as much as I can now because when I'm their age ( 50s) I'll no longer enjoy sex...the thought is freaking scary 
How the heck can I enjoy sex when I don't even have time to think about it anymore , no time to look for it , too scared to contact any STDs and too holy to commit any sins...
Just want to say "Hi!" to you all
It's good that I'm single or my partner would probably take off with someone who can give him time and s*xual satisfaction Work and money have taken over most of our lives, we tend to put people and things aside and put our work above anything else but in times we need company and comfort the most, it's loved ones that we long for.
My older friends keep telling me to enjoy sex as much as I can now because when I'm their age ( 50s) I'll no longer enjoy sex...the thought is freaking scary How the heck can I enjoy sex when I don't even have time to think about it anymore , no time to look for it , too scared to contact any STDs and too holy to commit any sins... Just want to say "Hi!" to you all
You Know You're Getting Older When....
No offenses intended! Need to lighten things up around here.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work...
You feel like the morning after, and you didn't go anywhere the night before...
Your knees buckle and your belt won't...
You can only burn the midnight oil until 9 o'clock...
The twinkle in your eyes is the sub hitting your bifocals...
Your back goes out more often than you do...
And another sure-fire way to know your geting older is when...I forgot.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work...
You feel like the morning after, and you didn't go anywhere the night before...
Your knees buckle and your belt won't...
You can only burn the midnight oil until 9 o'clock...
The twinkle in your eyes is the sub hitting your bifocals...
Your back goes out more often than you do...
And another sure-fire way to know your geting older is when...I forgot.
Connecting Singles.revised
Here's the result of my previous blog " What Else Would You Like For CS To Do To Make You Happy?"
All suggestions from other bloggers are up there, any more suggestions, reactions, revisions and recommendations are welcome.
Have a lovely day/night everyone!
All suggestions from other bloggers are up there, any more suggestions, reactions, revisions and recommendations are welcome.
Have a lovely day/night everyone!
Make-Up vs. No make Up in profile pics.
I've been thinking,
wouln't it be
wonderful if it was mandatory
for women on the site to have
at least ONE picture without
any make up on to see what
they really look like.
wouln't it bewonderful if it was mandatory
for women on the site to have
at least ONE picture without
any make up on to see what
they really look like.
Is there life out there?
The search for intelligent life goes on but right now any life form will do. Over here it is Friday, 10 PM and I have just returned home after visiting a friend. But where is everybody?
My sister and her husband are out out (probably at the casino), my cat is on the prowl and CS is quiet as a mouse. Not even a scammer around.
Except for this one.
Some people have all the luck. Maybe I must take lessons from him. My scams never work. Anybody who is giving lessons?
I'm a bit strapped for cash at the moment but I will pay for the lessons as soon as I have pulled off a good scam.
My sister and her husband are out out (probably at the casino), my cat is on the prowl and CS is quiet as a mouse. Not even a scammer around.
Except for this one.
Some people have all the luck. Maybe I must take lessons from him. My scams never work. Anybody who is giving lessons?
I'm a bit strapped for cash at the moment but I will pay for the lessons as soon as I have pulled off a good scam.
What Kind Of Weather Do You Like?
Today, the weather is terrible where I live! It has been snowing and blowing since late last night! Blizzard conditions with major whiteouts! Cannot drive any place because of the whiteouts and drifting snow!
It is a "balmy" 12 degrees F outside.
Oh sunshine, oh sunshine, where are thou?
What is the weather like where you are?
It is a "balmy" 12 degrees F outside.
Oh sunshine, oh sunshine, where are thou?
What is the weather like where you are?
R ants nutritious !
I had coffee a la ant this morning.
We have an ant plaque at present as the rain is scarce so they come inside for water and food. I had ant traps out but their use by date seems to have come and gone.
They climbed into the kettle and by the time I saw them they were well boiled in my cup of coffee with milk.
Now what if I didn't take milk?
We have an ant plaque at present as the rain is scarce so they come inside for water and food. I had ant traps out but their use by date seems to have come and gone.
They climbed into the kettle and by the time I saw them they were well boiled in my cup of coffee with milk.
Now what if I didn't take milk?
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »