Most Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair-stylist you like.

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.

I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.

I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.

Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

Can it be a coincidence that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards.



Have a gooder!

In some countries women are sent to a hut for 7 days when they are on their menstruation, countries like India, Pakistan and Nepal, an accent Hindu tradition, but also muslims in Pakistan do this, mostly in villages away from civilization.

Apparently its a sin to touch books during this period, so they cant go to school, not allowed to consume milk, butter, yoghurt. Food is not handed but flung at them, you can't touch your elders, you are seen as impure.

Now what's so dirty when having a period, as to taking a shit while reading a book ?

Now, as some of you men know, when the painters are in at home, it can be a nightmare we have to endure with the mood swings, so maybe in these ancient times a moody chic needs to be thrown out, this is harsh and I much prefer the lady stays at home, and i go walkabout for a week.

A blogger recently posted a blog about positive and negative, of course if the positive things like, boobs a** and lady caves owned by women, for us men to be pleasured with, when she's on blobby, we have to accept the negatives, a balance so to speak.

From all the abuse I've received over there years, the fact that these women know its coming and dont mean what they say to you, I've never had an apology, only..well you men got it lucky, you dont know what its like.

So next time you women give your man grief, think yourself lucky you aint thrown in the basement, no books, no milk in your tea, you got it lucky...

Yep! December 23.
That most sarcastic of all Holidays (anti-holiday ) has rolled around once again!

This relative newcomer to the Holiday Season was sprung upon an unsuspecting public during a 1997 episode of Seinfeld; this year marks its 20th Anniversary!
From those humble beginnings it has gained popularity among the jaded, those fed up with commercialization, those seeking to ritualize family dysfunction...and those simply looking for yet another reason to party.

So c'mon, y'all party animals!
Set up your Bare Aluminum Festvus Pole (I find tinsel distracting)
Burn hell outtta the traditional Ketchup-Glazed Meatloaf!
Gather friends & family near to you - for The Airing Of Grievances
Engage one another in the Feats of Strength
And remember the Festivus Rule - IT AIN'T OVER 'TIL THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE IS PINNED TO THE GROUND!

What sort of Festvus Miracles might we expect THIS year?

Well this could be true in most cases, but maybe that's why so many men rather run than be laid.

They (educated women?) say that men in general are like floor tiles.

If you lay them right you can spend the rest of your life walking over them.

Add you own punchline for this cartoon.

My first one is;

"Whose dumb idea was it to send all the king's horses ?
A doctor, or veterinarian, or even someone with crazy glue would have been helpful !"

Here's the cartoon (click on it to reduce size);

Hello fellow bloggers especially you ladies.
Oh I do miss a partner I have to do my washing,cleaning,shopping clean my car make my bed.
Where are girls I miss you.Come and change my life so that I can have more time to go down the pub ,play golf,etc.
Love and peece
All in the worst possible taste
Oh I can supply gardening gloves for weeding ,grass cutting.
Apron for cooking.

Flyme2.

Popeye's goilfriend toins 100 in 2019...

Seems Miss Oyl was quite the cougar as Popeye didn't come along 'til 1929.

You go goil

April Fools day has become extraordinary for one unexpected reason - it is now the only day of the year that people query news items on the internet before accepting them as true



So, a supermarket chain announced a new app that will let you taste-test products by licking your phone

Another app, the phone-home which lets you not only talk to your plants, but they can let you know if they need more water / light / air

Dipping hot chillis in chocolate and offering them to your kiddies as chocolate-covered strawberries

The usual numpties phoning the emergency services to report an emergency oh ha ha

Seems to have been a quiet one this year, anyone hear of a good one?

I am wallpapering stairs (no, I really am) so shall be popping in and out. That is if I can unstick myself from my keyboard this time.

Don't worry sensitive little peeps
It is not political.