Most Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

The dysfunction of one's behaviour can pollute even the most lucid and formidable mind.

Why is that?

Is it because sensationalized and most intriguing experience we encounter is the antidote to boredom?

Our placid and yet dull existence is rippled by guilt.

Excruciating and painful, endearing and yet disturbing what experience has given us in our fragile attempt to tame love.

In the end, was it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Good morning everyone and thanks for all your reads, or comments, opinions if any.

I have found out that our moods in the blog land had been dominated by bickering, intrigue and guilt driven discussions, maybe I thought how can it get any worse if I'd just dump more fun into the sizzle?

Let's have fun, shall we?

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.

The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, ‘I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?'

'No,' the woman replied. 'Divorce attorney.'

Create your own photo caption(s) for the following photo, if you like.

My first entry is;

For lunch Leo opts for tourist takeout.

Here's the photo;

If you don't care to follow links, the text is below but the pics and gifs on her original blog are hilarious



When you write books, people are gonna want to ask you stuff. It is very important that you LIE when answering these questions. Lie through your teeth and don’t ever let them find out the truth. As a helpful resource, Evie Gaughan put together a mock interview, a mockterview if you will, to guide you through it.

Do you have a writing routine?
Yes. I like to see how long I can spend not writing before the guilt kicks in. Then I simply distract myself with the kind of housework I wouldn’t normally do if my life depended on it… like cleaning the oven, descaling the kettle, washing my make-up brushes or, worst of all, clearing out THE DRAWER OF NO RETURN.

Where do you get your ideas from?
Right at the back of THE DRAWER OF NO RETURN.

So can you tell us what your new book is about? (best pic of all - Biff )
Oh. Holy. Jesus.

What’s your favourite part about writing?
The ‘not writing’ part.

What do you tend to wear when writing?
Um, Chanel No.5? And the elasticated pants I’ve been threatening to throw out for two years.

Who are your favourite authors?
Woah, hey, I’m not here to promote other peoples’ work!

How do you handle bad reviews?
Very well actually. I’m a big believer in karma. But just in case karma is busy, I simply fashion a home-made punching bag with the offender’s avatar taped on the front and take care of business myself.

What can readers expect from you in the future?
Bitter disappointment? Long periods of idleness? It’s hard to say.

Did you always want to be a writer?
Yes, but then I’d never written anything, so I didn’t know any better. Reading books and thinking you want to be a writer is like watching the winter olympics and thinking you want to be an ice-skater… Then you realise how unbelievably slippy ice is! (It’s like, really slippy).

Any advice for budding authors?
Yes. RUN!

Today is what I think of as holiday hot.

It would be so relaxing and soul fixing
to sit under a palm tree sipping a very
cold rum and coke with some fresh lime
floating in it while watching the young
ladies playing in the waves off the beach.

But it's just too damn hot for working.......

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out
of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue
lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110,
then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!"
and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked
up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift
ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason
for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go.."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off
with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.


Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help.
If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ...
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause every thang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked,
"Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South,
but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.

How about you created your own woman the way you desire other than giving orders how she should look, can you imagine a person/man saying I need a lady slim with curves tall and goes on demanding the age limit while him his weight is xxxtra pound and other unspeakable physical appearances.......please

What would it be like to be a troll for a day I wonder?

I love math tricks and this one really works and will only take you about ten seconds!!!

Amazing it really works to reveal my all-time favorite movie.

I'm pretty good at math, so I did it in my head, then on paper, and finally on a calculator just to confirm my numerical capabilities.

Each time I got the same answer, and sure enough it IS my very favorite movie EVER!

DO NOT cheat. DO YOUR math, THEN compare the results to the list of movies at the bottom

You will be AMAZED at how scary true and accurate this test is

1. Pick a number from 1-9.

2. Multiply that number by 3.

3. Add 3.

4. Multiply by 3 again.

5. Your total will be a two digit number. Add the first and second digits together to find your favorite movie of all time in the list of 17 movies below:

1. Gone With the Wind
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Obama Farewell Speech
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire

Now, isn't that something?

The neighbors thought it was odd, but 93 year old Morton was dating again. One Monday morning Morton woke up with a funny feeling that something important happened last night. It was during breakfast, that Morton finally remembered what it was. He had proposed to his date Greta. But what she answered he just couldn’t seem to remember. Morton picked up the phone and dialed. “Hi Greta”, said Morton, “I have a funny question for you, do you remember last night when I proposed?” “Oh my gosh” gushed Greta, “I’m so glad you called, I knew I said yes to somebody but I just couldn’t recall who it was!”


"C’mon Ma you have got to try it” I pleaded to my elderly Mother. I don’t know how my Mother lasted this long without ever using the internet, but enough was enough! I thought. “Ok” she said reluctantly settling down by the computer and slowly putting on her reading glasses “what do I do now?” “Now I’m going to open the home page of google”, I explained. “OK here it is! Now type in ANY question you want into the bar over here and you will find an answer to your question.” I confidently assured her. My Mother looked at me warily, thought for a second, and slowly began to type, How is Gertrude doing this morning?